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Reclaiming Stamp duty higher rate for 2nd property

We have just finished building our new home and have moved in. During the build we lived in our existing main home hence had to pay the higher rate stamp duty for a second home. We were slightly over the 3 year window so I wrote to HMRC citing COVID 19 restrictions. I have received a letter back stating that because we demolished the original 2nd home to allow us to build our new house, that we never intended the purchased dwelling to be our main residence so we have not met the requirements.  Is it therefore correct that anytime you demolish you can not get your 3% back?? This goes against what we had been originally advised. Any help / info would be greatly appreciated. 
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