* Driving Home for Christmas * - It's the 2021 Christmas Chatter Thread!

Spendless

chanie said:

spendless your post really resonates with me.  My children are tweens, so are still young enough to please, but I know we are only a few years away from where you are now.  Like you, I enjoy being organised and shopping early.  It certainly came in handy  last year, when we were in lockdown in the run up to Xmas and I was happy to know they most of the shopping had been done.  Plus I got pinged by Test and Trace just before Xmas.  

There must be a way to manage this new season of life…..

I've been having a real good think over the last couple of days about your last sentence and what has so clearly marked the difference this year. My extended family list now has 6 people in it, of which 5 are pensioners (3 in 70s, 2 in 90s). 4 of these are difficult to buy for for a variety of reasons. The only other extended family member, really should have dropped off the list some years ago but it is a bit 'family sensitive' for reasons I've detailed before.  I'm probably guilty of making less effort here for this relative because I think one year soon it will be the final one.  


DS went to Uni in 2018 and has only come home for days or a week or two since March last year. This has meant I've not 'spotted' anything he could do with and bought  it in advance. He's now engaged so his fiancee adds to our list but I'm aware that her family celebrate Christmas in a lot differently to the way I do, which  includes gifts she's given from them which are of a toiletry/wash items variety. Consequently I steer away from these items for her/them.

I no longer buy for my Niece and Nephew. That dropped off when they reached 19. They are twins and fall between my 2 kids ages. Consequently it was always easy to guess in advance the sort of things they'd like. This year marks the 4th where I've not worked in an office with women that we'd buy 'a bit of something' for. It made splitting down bath and beauty products vert cost effective, especially if they'd also been bought in a sale. Now, with my MIL also passed,  I don't buy for enough women to do that with the knock on effect that if I've seen something at a good discounted price I've bought it for DD. That is also because when DD was at college, we'd occasionally go through to drop off/pick up and  call at a very good outlet store nearby and buy there. 

In addition lockdowns haven't helped. DD hasn't got through as many make up brushes this year because she's not been out as much! 

So going forward. I'm currently in the middle of a sort out of the present cupboard (I started this post hours ago!) where I am dividing up what I do have between the females I buy for plus putting to one side 'extras' that can either be given at a later date or if DD needs something for friends. I need to tell DD that I require her Christmas list at the beginning of October not at the end! That would satisfy my need to buy early enough. Watch this space to see how I get on next year. 

C_J

It's interesting to read other people's experiences with the shifting requirements of a Christmas present list. Mine too has downshifted this year, something which I would never have thought would happen as I have always really loved Christmas, normally shop all year for it, and enjoy finding the perfect gifts for people. But it all feels very different this year, perhaps on the back of the lockdown Christmas last year and all the associated Covid fears over the past 18 months. I feel a bit flat about it.

Yesterday I suggested to Mister CJ that we restrict ourselves to two or three presents each, and no stockings. He positively lit up with happiness (he had always done a (lovely) Christmas stocking for me, but finds it a real chore. I suspect that ever since my daughters were old enough to help, he has surreptitiously given them money and sent them out to buy items for it rather than do it himself!). So he is relieved. I'm not venturing out much to wander around the shops any more, so it will certainly take the pressure off me, but I feel oddly bereft right now!

I am still doing Christmas stockings for my younger daughter and her partner, but not my elder daughter. The rule is that once they have a family of their own, they arrange their own stockings. Elder daughter has always been okay with that, and as younger daughter is expecting her first baby in February next year, this will be her last stocking from me.

I do still make advent calendars for both the girls, but I am wondering whether to cull those next year too.  I have started doing "It's Nearly Christmas" boxes for the grandchildren which they have in mid December, mostly with little festive activities, new Christmas pyjamas etc etc in them, but it's not an onerous task so I think that tradition will carry on for a while.

So my Christmas gift list has reduced considerably - just Mister CJ, our two daughters and their partners, two small grandchildren (and a new one for next year), and a grumpy father in law. It sounds heartless, but I never buy anything too far in advance for him because he is so difficult to buy for, so ungrateful for anything he is given, and, well, he's 94 so you can never be sure ....

We are not yet back in the office, but if we do return to onsite working before Christmas (there are mutterings about Plan B being implemented for the w/c 8 November, but don't quote me) I will just make some Christmas cupcakes or cookies to hand around to colleagues rather than buying any little token gifts.

74jax

Hi everyone 👋 
I've seen in previous years a hamper thread, and as I came across this thread I thought I'd ask here 🙏
I'm looking at putting together an afternoon tea hamper for a couple who love having them at home. 
I get lots photos of them having a fabulous time and they home bake everything and it all looks amazing. I thought of a table cloth, a 3 tiered stand of some sort and a cake knife (I think that's what it's called (it's triangular - maybe cake slice...).  Would you include cake bars / caskets of tea?  I don't drink tea (they do) so I love the idea of old fashioned tea straining, but is that a faff for a tea drinker?
Thank you 🍵 ☕ 

Spendless

@kerri_gt - If you're struggling with clothes sizing even if it is in sleepwear for the Nieces, what about hair care instead? You could probably make it as 'old' or 'young' for their two ages as you wish with various accessories and products. I have just seen in TK Maxx a set of hair slides from Kendall and Kylie with either initials (might not want that due to their ages) or star signs £4.99. Last year DD was bought an Aveda hairbrush. That's the sort of thing that eldest one might not completely appreciate she has but will be grateful of her Aunt's present in a year or two. Or are Pyjama cases still a thing? Or hot water bottle sets? You could keep it to 'bedtime' just avoid the sizing issue that clothes fetch.

@74jax - If they do all their home baking would they like some ready done items? You could buy some items of their home baking. There's a Jane Asher range in Home Bargains but I've never looked at it enough to say what's it it. I have a 3 tier cake stand, mine is from Next and is in a round box and you assemble it when you need it. Makes storage very easy when not in use. It's a few years old, so don't know if they still sell them. Yes, I'd include tea, maybe a mix of bags and loose tea. I've sometimes seen the tea strainers in a clearance bit at Whittards. It's a cake knife and slice you're thinking of. They often come in boxed sets.

Present cupboard gone through and not as bad as I feared. I have put all the items meant for DD's holiday in a different place. They will be gifts as and when she's in a different situation to now or I will 'use up' with older Niece as she tends to book a lot of hols. I will still be giving DD the main present of the suitcase as she can use it on just overnight trips if wished (just glad I decided against the larger case!). I have put a load of items that I don't think DD needs for this Christmas (and exactly why did I buy 2 identical decision dice sets for yoga and exercise??!!). Again they can either spill over to a subsequent year or if she needs items for friends, I'll tell her to take her pick.

Stockings are one of those things I didn't 'grasp' when I had kids and grew to love, but DS has always been more difficult to buy for. The opening of them evolved into kids opening together in their bedrooms, whilst me and DH 'came round' then the opening of the larger items all together. DD has a full stocking from what I sorted out this morning, giving her the best suited to her current needs. I am not doing DS one as he is not waking up here on Xmas Day. I don't feel I can send him and his gf ones to open at her parents house instead because their gifting is different to what I do. That left DD opening hers alone as me and DH don't have them. As a compromise I have suggested the dog gets a stocking this year, they open it upstairs together, whilst me and DH place the other gifts round the tree. Can't do it the night before as said dog loves presents and will open and chew them!  I also have a very large unused stocking that I am contemplating putting the 'bits' I buy DS and gf in just wrapping in 2 different colour papers for the fun of them having one when they come for NY and get their gifts then.

My state of play for gifts I've now bought  is

Mum - PJs, dressing gown, sleep spray, book (all aimed at her hospital stay next summer)

Dad - Thermal vest, shower gel set, credit card sized tool for wallet (DS loves his, might need to get another for DH). I feel my Dad who is difficult to buy for ends up with 'random bits' and needs something else. My Mum has suggested a true life story about animals especially dogs anyone any suggestions? 
.
FIL - Malt whisky set. He is in the middle of house renovations which will provide him with a granny flat, when done we will see what he needs for his room/s.

Nan 1 - Whisky set (not malt as she just pours it in tea) and afternoon tea set from B&M. I bought her whisky for her birthday last month too, but she's 96 and it's difficult.

Nan 2 - In nursing home - Joules ceramic  hand dispenser  with liquid wash for her en-suite toilet.

Neice - Bag/belt - originally part of DD's holiday gifts.

Son's fiancee - Bag.

DD - Just working through her list of what else I will get!
  
which leaves me DH and DS that I have barely bought a thing for! If I'm stumped for DS I will pass that to DH as like most years he hasn't had to think of anything so far. 

C_J

Spendless said:

My Mum has suggested a true life story about animals especially dogs anyone any suggestions? 

The old classic true life animal/dog story from the early 1960s is The Incredible Journey by Sheila Burnford. It's technically a children's book, but adults love it too.

Two dogs and a cat trek through hundreds of miles of Canadian wilderness to rejoin their family after a caretaker misundertands her instructions and accidentally forsakes them, in this lovely, gentle, and understated tale.

Spendless

Thanks C-J. 

I am going to take advantage of the free parking from 2pm again today and go to Waterstones and maybe WH Smiths to see what they have in stock. If I can get something, it will mean all  presents for extended family (except something for FIL's granny flat when finished) is done.

Also going to print off DD's xmas list and see what else I can get from there. Told DH I'm stumped for son. He said he needs clothes but again I wouldn't know what to get, so this looks like something being left for DH to sort out.

I'm really glad I did yesterday's sort out. I was carrying a lot of 'present knowledge' in my head but physically clearing it all out has made things easier. I was also struggling to come to terms with not buying DD gifts in advance when on sale, so I've given myself a compromise, if they are stocking filler sized and priced (small enough to fit in and upto £5) I will still buy as she is more open to anything stocking wise rather than wanting specific items. 

Coxy11

Hi all,

Loving how organised you all are. I am normally further ahead in my buying but circumstances this year (visiting ailing Dad abroad several times) have meant I'm now playing catch up

Just wanted to ask - I'm trying to be more eco-friendly with gifting this year. I have a 17 yo niece and two nephews of 21 and 14 to buy for. I normally give £20 cash plus a 3for2 Boot$ bath/body giftset. Thinking of getting some solid shower gel instead, but given they are 3 of 5 children (other two are 5 and 2) and they share one bathroom, I need to think about ones that come with storage tins or similar. Any suggestions? I'm off to our big shopping mall later with DH and there's a Lu$h so might look there?

Any suggestions for other places to try gratefully received. TIA.
Coxy 

PS Spendless - Monty Don wrote a book about his labrador Nigel - star of GW (the dog NOT Monty...)

kerri_gt

@Coxy11 have a look for local zero waste type stores. We have one locally where they sell solid shampoos / shower items in tins. Lush is also a good idea although I find some of the perfumes in their products actually irritate my skin

Spendless

Alternatively look to buy the tins seperately. DH prefers bar soap to body wash/shower gel and often used to ask for a travel soap dish. You find them in the holiday sections of the cheaper drug stores eg savers, superdrug, even wilkos.

I bought Dad a book. It proved harder than I thought. Not that many to choose from and a struggle to find what section they'd be in, with no one around to ask. Eventually found by chance under pets. I b ought one about a police dog. Next step is to wrap all the extended family gifts up. I'm so happy I've just finished this.

A bit of a sensitive call with DS earlier. His gf graduated this year, has yet to find work. Some online work they were doing and earning well during the summer has dried up a lot, so they are living on his student loan which in the minimum and he bought the engagement ring out of it too! We pay his rent is full, which includes bills and there's no additional charge for a dual occupancy, so we can't help out financially anymore. Am going to have a think what to buy them which will reduce their grocery bill. They have a little studio bedsit/flat, which has it's own kitchenette with oven/job, microwave, fridge, mini freezer and tumble dryer. No washing machine, they have to use the buildings facilities for that.

princesskitty29

Not too many Christmassy things going on here as it’s half term, we’ve had a lovely week of walks, a Halloween trail and we visited a pumpkin patch yesterday which was a bit of fun for the boys.

 

It’s interesting listening to how Christmas shopping has changed for some of you, I have two boys and I imagine it will become a lot harder in a few years. My eldest is 7 and he is already a bit difficult to buy for as he doesn’t just ‘play’ with stuff. He likes very practical things and isn’t particularly into any characters/brands. I absolutely love to do things like stockings and I feel like I want to make them one forever! We’ll see how that goes. Over recent years I have also done stockings for my parents and in laws which were very much appreciated as it had been many years since they had a stocking and they enjoyed opening them. I also did one for my best friend last year as she had mentioned how she missed getting one from her mum.

 

I ordered some Christmas fabric the day before yesterday as I’m planning on making several sets of festive bunting as gifts, I was a bit sick as a dog though as it wasn’t cheap and the next day I got an email with a code for 20% off everything! So frustrating when that happens.

 

kerri I like the way you describe us as being put on the naughty step before Christmas!

 

CJ glad to hear you found somewhere to buy the rake, fingers crossed you get it without any problems. It sounds like Christmas shopping has changed a lot in your house.

 

GTQ yes agreed, it’s been running for a long time so it can’t be bad anyway! It made me smile about your mum wanting to open all the presents immediately, my mum is like that!

 

bit_by_bit it sounds like you’re the easy one to buy for!

 

Redrobin thanks for the heads up on Disney store code.

 

Spendless over the years my mum does ask me what I’d like and I give her a few ideas, however I still really enjoy receiving the little bits and bobs that she has picked up for me along the way.

 

74jax the hamper sounds lovely! I’m a massive tea drinker and I would be very happy to receive loose tea leaves and do the old fashioned tea straining, I love traditional ways plus that’s what you always get when you go out for afternoon tea.

 

Coxy I’m afraid I don’t know about the solid bars, although I’m interested to know for myself.