Forget that I ever existed

warby68

Its whatever is making you so anxious about half an hour that needs work, and probably professional work.
If your previous job led to quite severe mental health issues then taking effectively the same one seems a recipe for disaster.
The answer might be neither of those jobs but if its a strict choice, the different one makes more sense to me. Being happier in your job overall might make the time issue less significant.
Could you manage your eating time problem differently by having your main meal at lunchtime so you only need something light and quick at night or pre-preparing meals (slow cooker, something that only needs a ping reheat) so they're ready as soon as you're home
Depending on travel, a 5.30 finish might not get you home much earlier than a 6pm one anyway. Working in a city, that was true for me.

MovingForwards

ushjr said:

MovingForwards said:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6158361/taking-a-job-you-dont-want-after-redundancy-advice/p1

Opinions and comments will be the same when you asked earlier in the year.

Office jobs tend to advertise their hours, so if they don't fit with your routine, why apply for them? Or apply for them and see if they will be flexible with your start / end time. 

Did you take the advice about seeing your GP.

That one went quiet and I never even had an interview. The one I've been offered never advertised its hours, nor did a lot of jobs I've come across for that matter. If I had no other interviews I'd take the job despite the 6pm finish. But knowing I could potentially be offered a job finishing at 5.30pm is making me question it, but like I said in that other post I vowed never to work for a similar company again so maybe I'm letting the 5.30pm finish cloud my judgement.

I'm on the waiting list for CBT but I've done it before and it never did any good. 

But the opinions relate to any other job you apply for.

There was reference to a slow cooker so food is ready for when you get home.

There was reference to seeing your GP as eating as much as you are, still being skinny, could be an underlying medical problem.

If you have sufficient savings, only apply for jobs with early starts, if you don't then take any job you're offered and hope they will agree to starting early. 

Plenty of people are in a similar situation, wanting certain hours or days, most people compromise or keep looking for a job which suits their needs. However, we're not in normal times at the moment.

MovingForwards

If you decline the current offer and don't get the second job, what will you do?

No one here is going to say which one to pick, as someone already said you need to make that decision.

AskAsk

ushjr said:

AskAsk said:

ushjr said:

AskAsk said:
i am surprised you are making a big thing out of 30 minutes!  i would not get too bogged down with time you finish and go for the job that is the one you like best.

i am used to working long hours when i do work so whatever time the office finish was never a consideration, as often than not i am still there when that time comes if we are busy.  i am the sort of person that would be prepared to stay to midnight if the going gets tough, as long as i am compensated for the extra hours that i put in, and i do not feel i am being taken advantage of.

if you are so focussed on the finish work time, i would imagine it would be difficult to get a job that is well paid?

why do you worry so much about the time you get home?  do you have children to pick up from school or dinners to make?

You're right, it shouldn't be such a big deal. Being a slow eater is part of it and the later I eat the slower I get because I'm so stressed at eating late. During this period of unemployment I've been having my dinner at 5pm every day. No children. It's just making me really anxious.

i see.  for me, i can't get up early so i could never do a job that starts any earlier than 9am unless it is 30 minutes from my house!

i don't mind staying late but i can't start early.  i would often turn up 30 minutes late or ask to start later than office hours if i had a long commute.

if you are offered the job that finish at 6pm and you think it would suit you, you could always ask if you could start earlier and finish earlier by saying something like you have to pick up your dog from the dog sitter by 6pm or you have family comitment that requires you be home by 6pm.

some employers will be flexible and can allow you flex of 30 minutes as this is not a lot of time. 

as i work long hours anyway, employers tend to turn a blind eye that i never turn up on time at the office.

I'm the opposite, I do struggle to get up but getting up for 7am is no more difficult than getting up for 9am. Around 15 years ago I went from a job that was 7:30am - 5pm with 30 minutes for lunch to one that was 9am-5.30pm with an hour for lunch and it definitely felt like the latter job was taking over my life more. 

i think i have the same problem as you, except in the opposite direction.  as i can not get up early because it makes me physically ill to do so, even if i go to bed early, i still can't physically do a job that starts before 9. 

if i could get up early, i am sure i would have been able to make a lot more money than i have as i have missed so many opportunities to make money because i just can't get up early enough.

as someone had said, look for flexible hours or ask the employer if you could work slightly different hours.  it depends on the type of work that you do because some office may open at 9 but it doesn't really matter a great deal if some of the employees start 30 minutes before or 30 minutes after, as long as they do their hours and get the work done.

[Deleted User]

ushjr said:

MovingForwards said:

If you decline the current offer and don't get the second job, what will you do?

No one here is going to say which one to pick, as someone already said you need to make that decision.

I've accepted the offer, I'm not going to decline one for a maybe. Just not sure whether I should bother with an interview with the other when the only advantage it has i a 5:30pm finish.

AskAsk said:

ushjr said:

AskAsk said:

ushjr said:

AskAsk said:
i am surprised you are making a big thing out of 30 minutes!  i would not get too bogged down with time you finish and go for the job that is the one you like best.

i am used to working long hours when i do work so whatever time the office finish was never a consideration, as often than not i am still there when that time comes if we are busy.  i am the sort of person that would be prepared to stay to midnight if the going gets tough, as long as i am compensated for the extra hours that i put in, and i do not feel i am being taken advantage of.

if you are so focussed on the finish work time, i would imagine it would be difficult to get a job that is well paid?

why do you worry so much about the time you get home?  do you have children to pick up from school or dinners to make?

You're right, it shouldn't be such a big deal. Being a slow eater is part of it and the later I eat the slower I get because I'm so stressed at eating late. During this period of unemployment I've been having my dinner at 5pm every day. No children. It's just making me really anxious.

i see.  for me, i can't get up early so i could never do a job that starts any earlier than 9am unless it is 30 minutes from my house!

i don't mind staying late but i can't start early.  i would often turn up 30 minutes late or ask to start later than office hours if i had a long commute.

if you are offered the job that finish at 6pm and you think it would suit you, you could always ask if you could start earlier and finish earlier by saying something like you have to pick up your dog from the dog sitter by 6pm or you have family comitment that requires you be home by 6pm.

some employers will be flexible and can allow you flex of 30 minutes as this is not a lot of time. 

as i work long hours anyway, employers tend to turn a blind eye that i never turn up on time at the office.

I'm the opposite, I do struggle to get up but getting up for 7am is no more difficult than getting up for 9am. Around 15 years ago I went from a job that was 7:30am - 5pm with 30 minutes for lunch to one that was 9am-5.30pm with an hour for lunch and it definitely felt like the latter job was taking over my life more. 

i think i have the same problem as you, except in the opposite direction.  as i can not get up early because it makes me physically ill to do so, even if i go to bed early, i still can't physically do a job that starts before 9. 

if i could get up early, i am sure i would have been able to make a lot more money than i have as i have missed so many opportunities to make money because i just can't get up early enough.

as someone had said, look for flexible hours or ask the employer if you could work slightly different hours.  it depends on the type of work that you do because some office may open at 9 but it doesn't really matter a great deal if some of the employees start 30 minutes before or 30 minutes after, as long as they do their hours and get the work done.

I've read that time anxiety is a thing. I never watch the TV unless I'm eating because I feel I'm wasting time otherwise. I think it stems back to the fact I was older than 21 when I graduated and I didn't go straight into my career so I've always felt like I'm playing catchup. So the later finishes have the same effect.

It sounds like some type of OCD, which I totally get, because I have OCD to some extent too. Therapy (CBT) would definitely help - you just need to find the right therapist for you. 

Malthusian

ushjr said:

I'm on the waiting list for CBT but I've done it before and it never did any good. 

Have you looked at private therapists in your area? Relying on the Government to improve your mental health is a lottery, as with any other Government-funded service.

AskAsk

ushjr said:

AskAsk said:

ushjr said:

AskAsk said:

ushjr said:

AskAsk said:
i am surprised you are making a big thing out of 30 minutes!  i would not get too bogged down with time you finish and go for the job that is the one you like best.

i am used to working long hours when i do work so whatever time the office finish was never a consideration, as often than not i am still there when that time comes if we are busy.  i am the sort of person that would be prepared to stay to midnight if the going gets tough, as long as i am compensated for the extra hours that i put in, and i do not feel i am being taken advantage of.

if you are so focussed on the finish work time, i would imagine it would be difficult to get a job that is well paid?

why do you worry so much about the time you get home?  do you have children to pick up from school or dinners to make?

You're right, it shouldn't be such a big deal. Being a slow eater is part of it and the later I eat the slower I get because I'm so stressed at eating late. During this period of unemployment I've been having my dinner at 5pm every day. No children. It's just making me really anxious.

i see.  for me, i can't get up early so i could never do a job that starts any earlier than 9am unless it is 30 minutes from my house!

i don't mind staying late but i can't start early.  i would often turn up 30 minutes late or ask to start later than office hours if i had a long commute.

if you are offered the job that finish at 6pm and you think it would suit you, you could always ask if you could start earlier and finish earlier by saying something like you have to pick up your dog from the dog sitter by 6pm or you have family comitment that requires you be home by 6pm.

some employers will be flexible and can allow you flex of 30 minutes as this is not a lot of time. 

as i work long hours anyway, employers tend to turn a blind eye that i never turn up on time at the office.

I'm the opposite, I do struggle to get up but getting up for 7am is no more difficult than getting up for 9am. Around 15 years ago I went from a job that was 7:30am - 5pm with 30 minutes for lunch to one that was 9am-5.30pm with an hour for lunch and it definitely felt like the latter job was taking over my life more. 

i think i have the same problem as you, except in the opposite direction.  as i can not get up early because it makes me physically ill to do so, even if i go to bed early, i still can't physically do a job that starts before 9. 

if i could get up early, i am sure i would have been able to make a lot more money than i have as i have missed so many opportunities to make money because i just can't get up early enough.

as someone had said, look for flexible hours or ask the employer if you could work slightly different hours.  it depends on the type of work that you do because some office may open at 9 but it doesn't really matter a great deal if some of the employees start 30 minutes before or 30 minutes after, as long as they do their hours and get the work done.

I've read that time anxiety is a thing. I never watch the TV unless I'm eating because I feel I'm wasting time otherwise. I think it stems back to the fact I was older than 21 when I graduated and I didn't go straight into my career so I've always felt like I'm playing catchup. So the later finishes have the same effect.

i don't know about time anxiety but i have a set time for everything and my body works to that clock.  i find it very difficult to move away from that clock.

if i was really tired for example and need to go to sleep early, i still can't sleep until the normal time as i keep thinking it is not yet time to sleep.  same thing goes for eating.  i tend to eat late so if i have to eat early it spoils the dinner as i do not feel hungry, but if i eat too late, i can't sleep as i get stomach upset.

pickledonionspaceraider

Malthusian said:

ushjr said:

I'm on the waiting list for CBT but I've done it before and it never did any good. 

Have you looked at private therapists in your area? Relying on the Government to improve your mental health is a lottery, as with any other Government-funded service.

That would be a good idea, but sounds like the OP has been out of work for some time

OP did you get a start date for your new job, and how are you feeling now?

I hear where you are coming from, I have had jobs that I have felt have taken over my life and made me mentally unwell - being out of the house for 12 hours or more each day is certainly not what I plan to do going forwards. 

These days, it seems to be the done thing,   to be permanently busy, no wonder so many people are burnt out. I don't see what there is to admire about burning yourself out for an employer who would replace us in a week. Just so we can have an excess of what we really need
We need one roof, a bed, and three meals - above that, is by choice not necessity  

gozaimasu

OP, could you negotiate your finishing time by shortening your lunch break? Legal minimum is 20 mins for 6 hours and they've given you an hour so there might have been room to negotiate this before accepting the offer. If you do eventually accept the other job then you could go back to them 6pm one with more leverage for negotiating an earlier finish time.