2021 Frugal Living Challenge

chirpycheap

My husband retired in January and we've had a rubbish year with our health between us this year. It's been a bit of a challenge for hubby to adjust to retirement. He's been a bit lost and missing the routine of work. Covid hasn't helped of course as like everyone it's restricted our everyday activities. We're desperately missing our son who lives in Canada as we haven't been able to see him for over two years now.
This last few weeks he has been selling off lots of his machines and tools in his garage. Yesterday he sold something to a chap who told him about an engineering group he runs for older folks. He has decided that he'd like to attend and I'm hopeful that it will be a positive step for him.
Today we took a walk and on the way we picked up a bag of free food from Olio. We took a flask and sat in the park on our way home. Then we cooked and prepared all our free groceries and made a lovely dinner.
My husband said that he'd had a lovely day and enjoyed all of our frugal activities. It was nice to hear some positivity from him.
I'm hopeful that he is beginning to accept that working life is over and that whilst our income is less than it once was we're okay.
Did anyone else find that their partner struggled with adjusting to retirement? My lovely husband has been a good provider for his family for many years and he deserves to enjoy this time. Hopefully 2022 will see some normality to our lives and we can find some meaningful activity to keep him busy. 

joedenise

I think most people find adjusting to retirement a difficult time @chirpycheap.  We are fortunate that we have a motorhome and can often be found to be out and about visiting different places.  We were already doing this before Covid but have increased the amount we do, although of course more limited over the last couple of years.

DH has also taken up golf again after stopping about 10 years ago due to a shoulder injury.  This is definitely an expensive hobby but at least it means he gets out and about and meets other people.

I on the other hand don't get out much apart from shopping but do have hobbies which I do at home.

It's good once you get used to not being in a routine of the daily grind!

annieb64

My DH officially  retired in the spring  but he is still a "consultant " although he says he wants to retire completely.  He still gets phone calls most days usually  at the most inconvenient times. It's a nuisance at times but it does keep him occupied  and he does get paid .

I suspect some of his former staff find him more approachable than the person who replaced  him. 

zafiro1984

chirpycheap said:

My husband retired in January and we've had a rubbish year with our health between us this year. It's been a bit of a challenge for hubby to adjust to retirement. 

I know exactly where you are coming from. My DH retired in the early 2000's after many years being at the top of the tree in his profession. It was his decision to retire not his age. Fortunately, he had a hobby which has taken over - that helped. Initially, he certainly missed being a boss and it took quite a while for him to realise that when he said 'jump' I didn't say 'how high'
Stick with it, he just needs time to adjust, I think mine took a couple of years for him to return to 'normal'. 

I found talking to him didn't help and there were days when I got upset, just stick to a routine. Women can be quite manipulative - use it, make sure that all ideas appear to be his even though you have drip fed him earlier. Support him in new hobbies, and ideas as he will have a wealth of experience - that engineering group sounds ideal. Mine co-wrote a book for people just entering his profession which helped as it enabled him to step down gradually to 'normal' life. After 15yrs it's still in print and has been translated to other languages.

You'll get there. Life is different, we have to watch the finances, but I now get to enjoy his company every day, and we're still busy as the hobby has certainly taken over.   

Mrs_Cheshire

Hi all. been having a sorting day today. Blanched some root veg and boxed them ready for freezing - they needed using up. Will use them in casseroles/stews over winter. Also made a tomato sauce with a couple of punnets of tomatoes - they'd been in the fridge for weeks but were still fine which surprised me. 

I sorted through some punnets of strawberries I rescued from oli0 unfortunately not enough for jam, so will make coulis instead 
Also got some apples that need using up so will make a crumble topping for those too. 

Still waiting for my energy transfer to go through after our company went bust. Hopefully early next week and then I'll know where we're up to in terms of credit etc. 

Jellytotts

Used 4 boneless chicken thighs in a slow cooked casserole on Monday.  Used the resulting casseroly goodness in 3 mash topped pies (normal spuds and sweet potatoes) and saved the liquid to make a jug of amazing gravy to ration out for each pie.  We've had 2 lots so far served with homegrown cabbage, beans and broad beans (all frozen when picked). I don't mind eating the same food a few times in a week as long as I can have a variation in between (spag Bol last night).  I reheated the pie in the halogen oven so very cheap compared to my main oven.  The veg went in the steamer so only one burner used there too.  I'm trying to be very conscious of my energy usage.

We were lucky enough to spot a greenhouse being offered for free on FB marketplace at the weekend so yesterday we went armed with tools, a tarp for the back of the car and lots of old towels to protect the glass.  DHs mobility and pain mean he's not good at doing much in the way of physical stuff but he's a great organiser and told me which bits to take off first and how to dismantle the entire thing.  It's fairly old, all the bolts sheered (as expected) and there were 4 broken panels of glass when we arrived and only one more got broken as I lifted it out (no smashing involved, it just gave way). It took 3.5 hours to get it dismantled and loaded in the car.  It took me a further hour to unload it all to safe places (and it was raining by then)...I'm feeling it today but I've misted saved a small fortune.  It's a good sturdy old greenhouse, far better than the cheapest versions available today) and all I have to do now is level out and a pop a base in for it to sit on (garden is on a steep hill so easier said than done....but that's a job for spring).  With a very large garden with a veg plot and an allotment to fill, I was desperate for more growing room than my current greenhouse.  I've now doubled my space at no cost.  Win win!

chirpycheap

Thank you Joedenise, annieb64 and zafiro1984 your kind and constructive ideas are really appreciated. It's helpful to know that our experience isn't unusual. I think I need to relax and give him some space and time. How ironic that we spend  our working lives looking forward to retirement but when we finally get there we're a bit surprised and clueless! 

pelirocco

chirpycheap said:

My husband retired in January and we've had a rubbish year with our health between us this year. It's been a bit of a challenge for hubby to adjust to retirement. He's been a bit lost and missing the routine of work. Covid hasn't helped of course as like everyone it's restricted our everyday activities. We're desperately missing our son who lives in Canada as we haven't been able to see him for over two years now.
This last few weeks he has been selling off lots of his machines and tools in his garage. Yesterday he sold something to a chap who told him about an engineering group he runs for older folks. He has decided that he'd like to attend and I'm hopeful that it will be a positive step for him.
Today we took a walk and on the way we picked up a bag of free food from Olio. We took a flask and sat in the park on our way home. Then we cooked and prepared all our free groceries and made a lovely dinner.
My husband said that he'd had a lovely day and enjoyed all of our frugal activities. It was nice to hear some positivity from him.
I'm hopeful that he is beginning to accept that working life is over and that whilst our income is less than it once was we're okay.
Did anyone else find that their partner struggled with adjusting to retirement? My lovely husband has been a good provider for his family for many years and he deserves to enjoy this time. Hopefully 2022 will see some normality to our lives and we can find some meaningful activity to keep him busy. 

I think its fairly normal to feel  lost when you retire 
Have a look to  see if you have a local " mens shed ", group

willow_loulou

I felt very similar when I became unable to work as I did before. Acceptance takes a while even if it’s something you want because work is such a big part of our lives. I hope your husband finds his way soon. X

The car passed its MOT today, there is definitely a bonus to getting a service done shortly before as it seems to fly straight through. It’s a relief as I am so reliant on it.  Especially as DD is moving out next week, I’m the one driving the stuff about. Well she can drive but I need to be sat with her. 

I’ve been going through my recipes and my goodness they’re all so complicated. It’s no wonder I end up googling options. Does anyone have a suggestion for a useful simple book please? 

Frugal win was a carrier bag of veg for just over £1. I don’t eat most of it but the animals will be well fed this weekend. 

zafiro1984

willow_loulou said:

I’ve been going through my recipes and my goodness they’re all so complicated. It’s no wonder I end up googling options. Does anyone have a suggestion for a useful simple book please? 

'The dairy book of home cookery', a simple no-nonsense cookery book. I've had mine since the 80's, not sure when the last edition was published but Amazon have from 2.01p. It's under amazon UK - books - and then it's the fourth one down, hardback only.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?k=the+dairy+book+of+home+cookery&i=stripbooks&ref=nb_sb_noss