Working with life limiting mental illness

Buzzard1985

I do 216 hours per month.     I am being told I am going to run into health issues-setting aside my mental illness that has caused massive issues in life. Touch wood fine- last detention just over two years.
My role is mainly nights- 12 hrs long.  
Do get fleeting suicide thoughts- but i think many do in the general population per sa. Just with me, a Dr would be reaching for a Psychiatric assessment pathway.  Indeed it usually happens hence I don't utter my thoughts.    My partner notices a difference- no showering-brushing teeth etc.  Indeed Psychoatrsit that detained me spoke to my partner without my permission to ascertain life at home.  

I don't know if what I am doing is the norm.   GP said for my background and amount of medication I take it's amazing.  I don't drink/illegal drugs.  But he was worried I have turned to work for sole purpose.  
Tell you what dam buzz moving wage to savings.   I thrive on month to to month- love paying NI/tax.  Weird- but years of in-hospital to 4 weeks in prison as the judge was that concerned for me- my first appearance for jumping off a bridge.  No further action.   
Without work I have nothing- well partner.  
I work alone which I love.  Can't be bothered with folk.  Regress to a degree- pleasant and chat.  But no intrest in life- indeed I wish death soon.  Yet I type and don't feel ''low'' just I hate being here.  But work keeps me and my partner - lose ework I could lose partner my brain says.  Odd.

Mrsn

I’m wondering if perhaps your medication might need reviewing? I’m not sure how long you’ve been on it and if the dosage is correct for you currently.

Given the circumstances you’ve outlined you should accept that you are managing much more than you realise, still holding down a job and maintaining your relationship cannot be easy yet you are still going strong.

I think you could be having some low level intrusive thoughts. I’m not a Dr but I think it would be worth just reaching out there now and not letting things escalate (they really don’t have too).

Iamdebtfree

Buzzard1985 said:

I do 216 hours per month.     I am being told I am going to run into health issues-setting aside my mental illness that has caused massive issues in life. Touch wood fine- last detention just over two years.
My role is mainly nights- 12 hrs long.  
Do get fleeting suicide thoughts- but i think many do in the general population per sa. Just with me, a Dr would be reaching for a Psychiatric assessment pathway.  Indeed it usually happens hence I don't utter my thoughts.    My partner notices a difference- no showering-brushing teeth etc.  Indeed Psychoatrsit that detained me spoke to my partner without my permission to ascertain life at home.  

I don't know if what I am doing is the norm.   GP said for my background and amount of medication I take it's amazing.  I don't drink/illegal drugs.  But he was worried I have turned to work for sole purpose.  
Tell you what dam buzz moving wage to savings.   I thrive on month to to month- love paying NI/tax.  Weird- but years of in-hospital to 4 weeks in prison as the judge was that concerned for me- my first appearance for jumping off a bridge.  No further action.   
Without work I have nothing- well partner.  
I work alone which I love.  Can't be bothered with folk.  Regress to a degree- pleasant and chat.  But no intrest in life- indeed I wish death soon.  Yet I type and don't feel ''low'' just I hate being here.  But work keeps me and my partner - lose ework I could lose partner my brain says.  Odd.

Dude,

Based on your posts. . I don't think you should be working at all let alone 12 hour night shifts.

Go back to your gp. Get him to listen to you and start the ball rolling for relevant benefits. 

I honestly wish you all the best.

polgara

Checked through your posts to confirm the MH issue you have as thought I recognised some signs. As you know you need a good sleep pattern to help manage your condition - night working has been proven to impact on length and quality of sleep. Given some your thought patterns I’d suggest you speak to your private dr as soon as possible as you might be moving towards an episode and early intervention can help as you will know.

Brynsam

Buzzard1985 said:

I do 216 hours per month.     

Why? That's an awful lot of hours and if it's mainly night work, it's no surprise the strain is getting to you. Please take heed of the good advice given in the previous posts in this thread - and if you can, cut down your hours if that's an option?

elsien

I have to agree with other posters - your OP isn’t written in your usual style and you might want to check in with your MH support systems.