Newbie needing advice

Naomim

snowball24 said:

Yes it is manageable and when my dh is back to work early next year I will pay as much as I can to clear the debts. We got in this mess in the first place so we have to get out of it.  I am very very ashamed and embarrassed. 

We all understand your feelings, but please take comfort from knowing that 99% of us are on these boards because we are, or have been in debt and most of us have nothing to show for it.  We are all here for help and support.

Naomim

warby68

Its good to feel a bit bad - it means you're probably ready for change and taking responsibility.
Not too bad though as there are a mix of circumstances which have contributed.and its about fixing it not punishing yourself. You do have a lot of debt though and suddenly living within your means as well as meeting a DMP payment will be quite an adjustment. Make sure you take time to get ready for your DMP - usually a new Bank account is advised away from those you owe money to, and use the breathing space you can get from companies to build up a small emergency fund so you have a tiny bit behind you as credit will become non-available. You do see people rush into a DMP and it fail at the first boiler breakdown because they haven't prepared. Also getting used to the new budget will be significant for you too as it seems you haven't really had a go so far. A lot of your categories are currently on the high side so you can improve but it just might take a month or two to adjust.
Because of the amount of debt I do think you might have to forego entertainment, holidays, clothes etc completely for a while.
Try and share the pressure too - sounds like you're carrying a lot because partner has been ill but make sure there's a fair split. This will need a joint approach.

snowball24

Thanks, yes some of the debt is just spending and some is from using credit cards and loans with health issues for dh,  we do have our own extension to show for some of it, as that was a loan to cover the overspend.  I had read about the bank account issue anyway so had already started making enquiries.  Would you advise not making any other payments to cards or store cards this month and putting that aside ?  
I have a headache with the stress of it to be honest.

Naomim

It's often recommended to stop paying the cards etc for a few months before starting the DMP. The payments you would normally make, keep separately so you have an emergency fund available.  I'm not on a DMP so someone with actual facts can direct you on the best course of action.  There is also a DMP sticky thread at the top of the board.

Good luck

Naomim

ZaSa1418

snowball24 said:

Thanks, yes some of the debt is just spending and some is from using credit cards and loans with health issues for dh,  we do have our own extension to show for some of it, as that was a loan to cover the overspend.  I had read about the bank account issue anyway so had already started making enquiries.  Would you advise not making any other payments to cards or store cards this month and putting that aside ?  
I have a headache with the stress of it to be honest.

Yes stop making the payments and save that money in a seperate account for an emergency fund as once the DMP starts you will not be able to get any more credit. 
Many people wait to start the DMP once the creditors have defaulted the accounts so the interest stops. 

Brenster

If i was in your situation (lets face it you are not going to pay back £65k of debt) on an income of £2300 per month, i would look to remortgage to release £60k, in the short term you could focus on the other £5k and aim to clear within 1 year.   Then although your mortgage will increase monthly, your outgoings will be much more manageable, and you will be paying less interest.
I wouldnt normally recommend this, but in your circumstance, and age (i assume 50-60, given your childrens age), you need to release the stress and move forward.  I dont think and debt management / IVA / Bankrupcy is the answer.
Although this can only work if you learn from your mistake, only have something if you can afford it, and close all lines of credit open to you.
Good Luck 

snowball24

Hi
No am 40, we have already looked at equity but cannot do so as on paper our self employed profits do not look enough to borrow more,

tlc678910

Hi, perhaps (with your husbands surgery and recovery) your mortgage would allow you to go interest only temporarily? I’m not suggesting that to help you pay the debts but just to help you manage your living expenses.

snowball24

Thanks they have done this and also recommended Payplan .

monetxchange

Of course it's natural to feel wary. But it's for the best in the long run. Most of us have felt that urge to put our head in the sand instead of facing it head on. Absolutely no need to feel ashamed about the debt. Many of us on here have been there. I ran up £37k on my own without anything to show for it, so we really do know how it feels to be stood where you are now.