Family dispute over Mother-in-law's Will

Trotter65

My MIL has recently died. She had 3 children and 3 grandchildren.  She has split her will into 4 with each of her children being given 25% each and the remaining 25% is to be split between her 3 grandchildren. All sounds like a fair distribution of her estate. However my SIL does not have children, my husband and I have 2 aged 21 and 24 and the other brother has 1 child aged 18. My SIL believes that she should receive 'her' third of the estate and wants my husband to give up 8.333% of his share as we are the ones with 2 children.
On top of this the brother didn't speak to my MIL for the 6 years before her death and my SIL wouldn't speak to her for 4 years but did get back in contact with her 18 months ago.  We are the ones who kept her going throughtout this time and it has always been her and my FIL's wish to leave a decent sum to their 3 grandchildren to help them at this stage of their life rather than waiting until we die to inherit. 
What do you think? Is she right? Our view is that the Will is the Will and who are we to decide that her decision to split her will as she did is wrong.

p00hsticks

I'm with you - she went to the trouble of making a will to say what she wished to happen, and those wishes should be respected.

Who has been named executor ? It's up to them to ensure the estate is distributed according to what is stated in the will.

Soot2006

I don't see how this will could be contested. It seems very clear and fair. The executor of the estate will need to follow her wishes and distribute as requested. If MIL had left SIL out of the will entirely, it would be a different matter, but she didn't. She left money to individuals not to "families". That is fair.

Trotter65

My husband is the Sole Executor - as we were the only one's speaking to her when the Will was drawn up. At one point she wanted to exclude both my SIL and BIL in view of their cruel behaviour but my husband said that he couldn't be Executor of a Will that excluded them. . 

Keep_pedalling

She can complain as much as she wants but she is entitled to no more than the 25% allocated by the will. Your husband should simple to tell her to get lost. The only real difficulty is if she is one of the executors and causes trouble for the others, by failing to do the job she have been entrusted to do. 

naedanger

Trotter65 said:

My MIL has recently died. She had 3 children and 3 grandchildren.  She has split her will into 4 with each of her children being given 25% each and the remaining 25% is to be split between her 3 grandchildren. All sounds like a fair distribution of her estate. However my SIL does not have children, my husband and I have 2 aged 21 and 24 and the other brother has 1 child aged 18. My SIL believes that she should receive 'her' third of the estate and wants my husband to give up 8.333% of his share as we are the ones with 2 children.
On top of this the brother didn't speak to my MIL for the 6 years before her death and my SIL wouldn't speak to her for 4 years but did get back in contact with her 18 months ago.  We are the ones who kept her going throughtout this time and it has always been her and my FIL's wish to leave a decent sum to their 3 grandchildren to help them at this stage of their life rather than waiting until we die to inherit. 
What do you think? Is she right? Our view is that the Will is the Will and who are we to decide that her decision to split her will as she did is wrong.

You are right to say the will is the will. 

Does your husband wish to go with his late mother's wishes or his sister's wishes. It is his choice and there is not (in general in my view) a right answer.

Personally I think your MIL's distribution was very fair in the sense that she treated her children equally and her grandchildren equally. To me it would seem unfair to your children had they got only half what their cousin got, and it would be unfair to your husband if he got less than his siblings because he had more children. It also seems sensible to leave money to grandchildren for the reason your FIL gave. All that said, your sister-in-law obviously feels different and so you/your husband need to consider to what extent you wish to placate her.  

ZaSa1418

Mil wrote a will, your husband should listen to her wishes.
Your Sil is entitled to her 25% and that is it, if your Mil expected the grandchildren to inherit part of their parents share then she would have written her will to them percentages. 

Trotter65

naedanger said:

Trotter65 said:

My MIL has recently died. She had 3 children and 3 grandchildren.  She has split her will into 4 with each of her children being given 25% each and the remaining 25% is to be split between her 3 grandchildren. All sounds like a fair distribution of her estate. However my SIL does not have children, my husband and I have 2 aged 21 and 24 and the other brother has 1 child aged 18. My SIL believes that she should receive 'her' third of the estate and wants my husband to give up 8.333% of his share as we are the ones with 2 children.
On top of this the brother didn't speak to my MIL for the 6 years before her death and my SIL wouldn't speak to her for 4 years but did get back in contact with her 18 months ago.  We are the ones who kept her going throughtout this time and it has always been her and my FIL's wish to leave a decent sum to their 3 grandchildren to help them at this stage of their life rather than waiting until we die to inherit. 
What do you think? Is she right? Our view is that the Will is the Will and who are we to decide that her decision to split her will as she did is wrong.

You are right to say the will is the will. 

Does your husband wish to go with his late mother's wishes or his sister's wishes. It is his choice and there is not (in general in my view) a right answer.

Personally I think your MIL's distribution was very fair in the sense that she treated her children equally and her grandchildren equally. To me it would seem unfair to your children had they got only half what their cousin got, and it would be unfair to your husband if he got less than his siblings because he had more children. It also seems sensible to leave money to grandchildren for the reason your FIL gave. All that said, your sister-in-law obviously feels different and so you/your husband need to consider to what extent you wish to placate her.  

On one hand we don't want to fall out with SIL  but on the other hand why should the Son who never fell out with his Mother and was always there for her end up with less than his siblings! Tricky situation. We have considered making her an offer of say 4.165% rather than the amount she is demanding of 8.33% in order to keep the peace. But then we think why should we?

Mojisola

Trotter65 said:

On one hand we don't want to fall out with SIL  but on the other hand why should the Son who never fell out with his Mother and was always there for her end up with less than his siblings! Tricky situation. We have considered making her an offer of say 4.165% rather than the amount she is demanding of 8.33% in order to keep the peace. But then we think why should we?

I wouldn't. 

Follow the will.

It doesn't sound as if there is much of a relationship to lose anyway - if you don't hear from them again, would it matter?

naedanger

Trotter65 said:

naedanger said:

Trotter65 said:

My MIL has recently died. She had 3 children and 3 grandchildren.  She has split her will into 4 with each of her children being given 25% each and the remaining 25% is to be split between her 3 grandchildren. All sounds like a fair distribution of her estate. However my SIL does not have children, my husband and I have 2 aged 21 and 24 and the other brother has 1 child aged 18. My SIL believes that she should receive 'her' third of the estate and wants my husband to give up 8.333% of his share as we are the ones with 2 children.
On top of this the brother didn't speak to my MIL for the 6 years before her death and my SIL wouldn't speak to her for 4 years but did get back in contact with her 18 months ago.  We are the ones who kept her going throughtout this time and it has always been her and my FIL's wish to leave a decent sum to their 3 grandchildren to help them at this stage of their life rather than waiting until we die to inherit. 
What do you think? Is she right? Our view is that the Will is the Will and who are we to decide that her decision to split her will as she did is wrong.

You are right to say the will is the will. 

Does your husband wish to go with his late mother's wishes or his sister's wishes. It is his choice and there is not (in general in my view) a right answer.

Personally I think your MIL's distribution was very fair in the sense that she treated her children equally and her grandchildren equally. To me it would seem unfair to your children had they got only half what their cousin got, and it would be unfair to your husband if he got less than his siblings because he had more children. It also seems sensible to leave money to grandchildren for the reason your FIL gave. All that said, your sister-in-law obviously feels different and so you/your husband need to consider to what extent you wish to placate her.  

On one hand we don't want to fall out with SIL  but on the other hand why should the Son who never fell out with his Mother and was always there for her end up with less than his siblings! Tricky situation. We have considered making her an offer of say 4.165% rather than the amount she is demanding of 8.33% in order to keep the peace. But then we think why should we?

I suspect only the full 8.33% will be sufficient to placate your sister-in-law. So 4.165% will probably leave both her and you/your husband feeling bad.

Is your sister-in-law in need of the money? If she isn't, and as she didn't spend more time looking after her parents than your husband, and as she asked for more, and as your parents in laws intentions seem perfectly fair, then I would not be inclined to agree to her request. She has also put your husband in a very difficult positon, because he also needs to consider your views as well his sibling's and late parents' views.

elsien

I am your SIL, effectively. I have no children but my siblings do. 
Whether my parent chooses to spilt the estate between her children or give a share to the grandchildren is entirely up to her.
It’s not a numbers game, there’s no entitlement, if she wants to leave the lot to the dogs home, it’s up to her. I wouldn’t challenge or feel aggrieved if I get less because the grandkids are getting a bit.
SIL is out of order, and I’d execute the will as it stands.