Forum Home» Debt-Free Wannabe

Can anyone help me help my brother?

New Post Advanced Search

Can anyone help me help my brother?

9 replies 624 views
long story short(ish), my brother has had mental health issues his whole life, usually manages to live with them but currently struggling.  His wife ended their marriage just before lockdown, and he's an alcoholic - currently living with our grandad - this can't continue as they're rowing regularly and it's bad for grandads dementia and my brother's depression.

Found out on Sunday that he owes 35k in credit cards and overdraft, and he is frankly overwhelmed by it.  He is off sick from work, on part time hours anyway so take home is low, lower than the minimum repayments.  

However, light at the end of the tunnel, his ex wife is buying him out of the house and he is due to receive about 150k around November.  I want to write to his creditors and ask if they can hold off the repayments on the basis the entire debt will be repaid in November.

Can i do that?  Is there a template I can use for that sort of thing?

Thanks in advance guys.  I've not used this forum in about a decade, but you were always lovely x
it's choice, not chance that determines your destiny

Replies

  • edited 16 September at 11:07AM
    zx81zx81 Forumite
    29.5K posts
    Tenth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited 16 September at 11:07AM
    He can simply stop paying for a couple of months and then settle up.  By the time you've (or rather he's) written to his creditors, he'll have the money.

    Obviously it will impact his credit files, but that doesn't sound like a priority.
  • cjmpomcjmpom Forumite
    9 posts
    Eighth Anniversary First Post Combo Breaker
    Sadly he had already been doing this for a few months, so I'm worried their patience will wear thin.  How long can he ignore them for?
    it's choice, not chance that determines your destiny
  • zx81zx81 Forumite
    29.5K posts
    Tenth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    Until he gets notice of a CCJ would be the ultimate backstop.
  • cjmpomcjmpom Forumite
    9 posts
    Eighth Anniversary First Post Combo Breaker
    Thanks, that's helpful 
    it's choice, not chance that determines your destiny
  • AndyjfletAndyjflet Forumite
    296 posts
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Name Dropper
    ✭✭
    Maybe have a plan B in case he doesnt receive the cash in time from said house buyout. Good luck to your brother I know how it feels to be in this type of situation, happened to me in 2010. 
    Baby Step 1 - £1100 saved for emergency fund
    Baby Step 2
    M&S Loan £12870.34
    M&S Credit card 0% £3473.98
  • Jude57Jude57 Forumite
    19 posts
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Posts Name Dropper
    If your brother has a solicitor acting for him in the divorce/property matters, he could ask them to write to his creditors giving an undertaking that all debts will be settled out of the proceeds of sale. A solicitors undertaking is effectively a binding promise, so creditors should take it seriously. This assumes your brother intends to clear his debts in full, rather than negotiate lower 'full and final' settlement amounts with the individual creditors.
  • elsienelsien Forumite
    23.5K posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    If he hasn't mentioned to them that he's a vulnerable adult due to his MH issues, then he may want to consider doing so if he needs a bit more leeway. Is he getting any support with his MH at present - he could mention that if he is. However it is a touchy subject and some people would prefer to keep that information to themselves.

    If you are writing to them, you need his consent to do so; partly for confidentiality reasons, and his decision about how much information he wishes to share; but also because they cannot correspond with you without his consent. So unless he's given them written consent to do so, you won't get any direct response to any letter that you do send. 
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
  • sourcratessourcrates Forumite, Board Guide
    21.4K posts
    Tenth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    Debt collection goes through various lengthy stages, from stopping payment to court action can take many years, as defaulted debts just get sold on, and on, and on.
    Action through the courts is usually a last resort, and initiated by a debt purchasing company, rather than an original creditor.
    He has really nothing to worry about on that score.
    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Credit File and Ratings, Bankruptcy And Living With It, boards. "I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly".
    Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an abusive or illegal post then please report it to:
    [email protected].
    Any views expressed are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.
    For free debt advice, contact either : Stepchange, National Debtline, CitizensAdviceBureaux.
  • fatbellyfatbelly Forumite
    15.4K posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Cashback Cashier
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    You could print off a load of these and get him to sign them

    https://www.nationaldebtline.org/EW/sampleletters/Pages/Hold-action-on-your-account-(sole-name).aspx

    It may delay them defaulting his debts. Obviously if he wants defaults (perhaps  looking for settlement deals) then just ignore them and let them get on with it.

    It sounds like his personal issues are a higher priority than his debts. I hope you can support him.

    Further thought - make sure he has a bank account not connected to him debts and that he is putting the income he has into the new account


Sign In or Register to comment.

Quick links

Essential Money | Who & Where are you? | Work & Benefits | Household and travel | Shopping & Freebies | About MSE | The MoneySavers Arms | Covid-19 & Coronavirus Support