A new royal start

QueenJess

Not much happening here. This week at work has been stupidly busy and I ended up working until 10pm last night ☹️. I’m very irritated with it all because it is meant to be downtime for me that I really needed after the craziness in September/Oct when I worked silly hours. As always, your reward for working hard and doing a good job is to get more work. I just feel suffocated with work/home stuff and zero downtime for me. Even on Thursday evening when I carved out time for me to relax I ended up fixing some IT stuff for DH for his work he was frustrated with. I am definitely underpaid.

Hoping to catch up a bit today on house stuff whilst DD is asleep after lunch.  Washing is already on, but I need to change the beds, tidy up, get back to some spring cleaning and hopefully do some baking that I actually want to do! The plan is to make jammy biscuits (will use up the rest of the vegan leftover condensed milk) DD and DS can have for puddings. I may make an apple and fig crumble for DH and I unless I have time to pick up some extra vegan cream in which case I can make lemon possets instead to have with the biscuits.

Lunch today will be everyone’s favourite leek, pea and cheese orzotto (always a full suite of clean plates in the house) followed by yogurt for the greedy ones (DSand DD). Dinner will be roast chicken, roast pots, parsnips, carrots, cabbage and hm Yorkshire puddings. Pudding should be biscuits/lemon posset/crumble.

QueenJess

Oops. I think I was a bit tardy picking apples off the tree and they are giant! Here’s a giant one against a normal sized apple 😂

QueenJess

Been having a nightmare week... basically I'm fixing a big mess at work at the last minute that is actually not mine to fix.  It's really starting to irritate me because I'm stressed and working long hours when it's not actually my job and I desperately need a break.  Anyway, going to try and spend my weekend not thinking about work.

Not much else has been happening here.  I have been trying to switch my mindset from having a to do list that I need to finish ASAP to understanding that there is always a to do list and so as long as progress is being made regularly, it doesn't matter that it isn't finished.  In that vein I try to tick off 3-5 small home tasks each day.  I am hoping my list will start to come down a little bit, but trying to come to terms with the fact it is unlikely to ever be zero.

Achievements today:

• Washing done and hung up to dry
• A few emails cleared down (400 to go!)
• Ordered a large shrub to go in the back garden to provide some much needed privacy
• Tidied away all the clean dry clothes
• Made a fig and apple crumble
• Used the rest of half a pack of raspberry jelly, which is setting in the fridge for the kids

Not sure on the plans for the weekend yet.  Yesterday I was cold working from home and just couldn't get warn in the evening, so I caved in and put the heating on (technically it's always on, I just turned it up so it flicked on).  Will see how it goes and might turn the temperature down a bit if I can.  I already have a blanket on top of the bed and am deploying my hot water bottle.  I also turned the fridge/freezer up as it was a bit too cold... hopefully that saves a few pennies as well.

The lack of funds in the joint account was stressing me out a bit, so I raided my savings (and DH's) and we topped it up as a one off.  At least we have some cash in there and we can now build back up our savings.

Lunch today was red pesto spaghetti with mushrooms.  Dinner was lamb tagine with rice and broccoli, followed by the crumble and vegan cream.

QueenJess

What a rubbish day yesterday. DS had a lovely time at gymnastics and then at a friend’s house though.

Spent loads of money online yesterday. It wasn’t silly things, mostly things that have been on the list for ages (like a lamp shade for DD’s room) and second hand shoes for work for me (I have none and have been getting away with boots under trousers). I also just caved and ordered a massive Waitrose order online to come tomorrow. I know it’s more expensive, but I am handicapped by a lack of time and am really struggling… if I’m honest I’ve been struggling for weeks now since DD was ill and then started teething. I had to hide myself away yesterday just on my own for the evening.. didn’t want to see or speak to anyone and just don’t feel up to life right now. Dreading work tomorrow as it’s more of the same junk to sort out and I’m fed up of it. Desperately need a break (and sleep!). Right now my health feels more important than money.

It’s my wedding anniversary on Weds and so we’ve booked into our favourite restaurant for lunch. Will be taking a very long lunch as frankly I need it. I’ve done way more than my fair share of work recently so I doubt they will argue.

Anyway, I did some stocking up with my big order so hopefully I just need Xmas food and top up bits for Dec. Will otherwise have a cheap Dec and Jan as I just work through my stores and try to get the freezer down.

Will try and tick a few more things off the list today as it does make me feel slightly more in control. Not sure about food for today, but dinner will be chicken thigh casserole in the slow cooker using a massive pile of veg from the fridge. Pudding is crumble and vegan cream; the kids have vegan raspberry jelly and hm ice cream.

MagicCat

Sorry to hear things are feeling hard. I personally find tiredness/lack of sleep is the key, I have no solutions as I'm also up all night with a toddler, just a sympathetic virtual hug.  I can remember speaking to the GP when my DS wasn't sleeping and saying I didn't have PND, I just needed to sleep for longer than two hours at a stretch, she clearly thought I was in denial but I was right, once he was sleeping everything improved.

I hope you have a lovely anniversary lunch, you deserve something nice.

Bluegreen143

Hugs @QueenJess

I agree the lack of sleep is probably a big part as @MagicCat says. I remember those days well.

While obviously it’s important to live within your means/not accrue debt, I would say that this stage of your life with two littles (one who doesn’t sleep through), a full time job and a lot on your plate it’s maybe not the time to have super high expectations of yourself. Getting shopping delivered is a sensible way to reduce your mental load even if it costs a little more so don’t feel bad about your Waitrose order. 

I’ve mentioned before that I have a delivery saver for Tesco and get two small deliveries a week, on Mondays and Fridays. Yes it would save more if I went to Lidl but I don’t need the extra stress right now 🤷‍♀️ 

Lowering expectations on yourself for housework and/or delegating more of it to your husband may be an idea too? You seem to do so much and I really don’t know how you fit it all in. Even things like doing baking and desserts for all your wonderful two course meals - you could just provide the kids with a choice of fruit or yoghurt after each meal and they can like it or lump it - not necessarily forever as you obviously enjoy baking but it would be one job off your list for now. We generally have dessert once a week and it’s it, I don’t have the bandwidth for making and planning a second course! 

I know this probably annoying advice as you don’t want to drop anything, and it definitely doesn’t need to be forever, but do please take time now to rest and recharge rather than tackling your task list if you know you’re feeling depleted. 

QueenJess

Bluegreen143 said:

Hugs @QueenJess

I agree the lack of sleep is probably a big part as @MagicCat says. I remember those days well.

While obviously it’s important to live within your means/not accrue debt, I would say that this stage of your life with two littles (one who doesn’t sleep through), a full time job and a lot on your plate it’s maybe not the time to have super high expectations of yourself. Getting shopping delivered is a sensible way to reduce your mental load even if it costs a little more so don’t feel bad about your Waitrose order. 

I’ve mentioned before that I have a delivery saver for Tesco and get two small deliveries a week, on Mondays and Fridays. Yes it would save more if I went to Lidl but I don’t need the extra stress right now 🤷‍♀️ 

Lowering expectations on yourself for housework and/or delegating more of it to your husband may be an idea too? You seem to do so much and I really don’t know how you fit it all in. Even things like doing baking and desserts for all your wonderful two course meals - you could just provide the kids with a choice of fruit or yoghurt after each meal and they can like it or lump it - not necessarily forever as you obviously enjoy baking but it would be one job off your list for now. We generally have dessert once a week and it’s it, I don’t have the bandwidth for making and planning a second course! 

I know this probably annoying advice as you don’t want to drop anything, and it definitely doesn’t need to be forever, but do please take time now to rest and recharge rather than tackling your task list if you know you’re feeling depleted. 

It is definitely sleep related.  Still very fed up with cleaning up work stuff, although I think I can get rid of it in another day or so.  Currently surviving by doing the minimum physically possible bar the most urgent work things and the 3-5 little things I want to do in the house so it doesn't degenerate/stuff actually gets done.

The trouble with getting DH to do things is that I have to do all the thinking about it first and then give him instructions on exactly what to do which doesn't really reduce the number of things I do.  If he could think for himself it would help...I do get him to cook sometimes, but I am still doing all the planning and have to give him instructions, otherwise we would have the same 3 meals on rotation that he would pop out to buy daily and completely ignore any of the food we already had in the fridge/freezer already.. I did tell DH to sort out the spare bed we need to buy.  I already did all the research, but there are some decisions to make and he wants to go and try it out.  He keeps trying to tell me about it, but I refuse to spare brain power to it... we only need it for his parents for xmas so I've lost interest and just want him to sort it out (preferably without discussing it further with me and just getting on with it!).  I will need to buy some sheets/duvets and covers though.  I was looking in Wilkos, but they were sold out of the ones I wanted.  It's on my boring to do list to figure out at some point.

I will just eat rubbish and feel worse if I don't do cooking/baking.  I really look forward to whatever I have planned for the day and puddings for the evening as a little treat. DS likes them, but would be equally happy for a while with ice cream and DH is less bothered about dessert.  I make them for me really!

I completely ignored my work training session over lunchtime and joined and external training session instead that I was interested in... it felt nice to do something I wanted to do (however small).  For lunch I had leftover tomato soup that I made yesterday.  Dinner will be veggie burgers, sweetcorn and sweet potato chips as I can't fit a single thing extra in the freezer and this will take a few things out of there!  Whilst they are in the oven, I will throw some baked apples in there we can have for pudding with some yogurt.

Managed just about to do a couple of loads of washing in the day, put the dry clothes away, join a remote parents evening for DD and make an anniversary card for tomorrow.  Not sure I am making progress at the moment, more like treading water.

QueenJess

Just as you think things can’t get worse they do! DD came down with really bad croup and had to be medicated for it. Obviously as she’s ill she only wants me and I’ve been awake most nights for the past three nights. She’s getting better now, but she wants to do everything she would normally and is frustrated that she can’t. Need to try and keep her out of the cold outside at least another day as it won’t help her chest. Obviously the time nursery called us was when we were stood outside the restaurant for lunch about to walk in… her timing is rubbish! We did have lunch but it was fast, so not the relaxing lunch we were looking forward to at all.

On the plus side I didn’t have to do any work for two days which was nice as it’s really irritating me at the moment.

Sat at gymnastics now for DS mainly staring into space like a zombie! Somehow I managed to get through some home stuff whilst DD has been napping. Washing is up to date and the place is slowly getting tidier. Also slowly been going through more of my never ending to do list and sticking to the 3-5 things off it a day, which seems to be working. Yesterday my big shrub arrived and I planted it in the garden (which also required me to move 5 other plants and take one out which was very unhappy). All moved around now so there’s no gaps. Fingers crossed it all grows up nice and tall.

Not sure what the plan is for today. Probably just at home. Whilst DD is asleep after lunch, DS says he wants to help with my chores 🥰. So we are going to spring clean a couple of kitchen drawers that badly need it and go through the toys in the dining room to check if we still want those.

Lunch today is everyone’s favourite (cheese, leek and pea orzotto I prepped yesterday) followed by yogurt for DD/DS. Dinner is veggies sausages, mash and veg (whatever I can find in the fridge - probably cabbage and carrots). Pudding is sultana cake I made for the kids yesterday (they love cake and sultanas, so it’s a hit) and I am serving it with custard so it will stretch a long way.  I have one baked apple left, so either DH or I will have that before the cake.  Lovely simple cake recipe  and I cooked it whilst I was making DD’s lunch yesterday.

On the work front, I’ve decided to ask for 3 days a week and see what they say. If they only allow 4, I will try it and see how that goes. On 3 days I will have a whole day with DD and 1 day on my own to get things done and see how that goes (but may pick up early). On 4 I will have a day with DD. I would prefer 3 days of working over 4 days so I can work school hours, but that’s never going to happen because of the timezones at work. DH will also do his crazy 4 days system that is sometimes 5 days (busy season) and sometimes 2 (low season). He hasn’t requested it yet and I have to wait until end of April to request mine. At least I have a plan and at some point I’ll have to work through the financials in more detail. It should be fine, but we just need to waste as little money as we can. Good job I can cook and am good with leftovers!

MagicCat

So sorry to hear this, poor DD but what rubbish timing for your meal. Hope she's feeling better.
It's great you've got a plan in place for asking to change work patterns, I always find having a plan makes me feel better even if it doesn't work out!
Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

QueenJess

DD is finally getting better, but has been having some very long naps, poor thing. She should be fine to go back to nursery tomorrow, although that does mean I have to go back to work 😕. On the plus side it’s payday tomorrow and I’m getting a small bonus. Will send it to my early pension fund until to the end of the financial year and then will start saving hard for a larger emergency fund (my car is getting quite old and I’d want to be able to buy one outright, plus eventually we all know my department will close in a few years and we’ll all be made redundant) and for the 2024 mortgage overpayment as that’s when my mortgage fix is up and I have to face high interest rates. The more I can save the better.

Really need to empty out my freezer. I start to do it, but as soon as I’ve used some of the top layer I fill it again and never get to the bottom. I’d like some room for bargains, batch cooking etc and I do need to dig to the bottom and get whatever is there used up. So tonight’s dinner is chicken frajitas in wraps with tons of veg from the fridge (cabbage, carrots, sweetcorn, mushrooms, onions and pepper). All so I can get through a pack of wraps from the freezer I found at the bottom! Pudding is the sultana cake and custard. Better plan some freezer food for tomorrow’s lunch/dinner, although it does require some digging to be done! Might just go for tomato pasta as I have leftover passata in the fridge and I know I have a whole garlic bread in the freezer to use. I also bought some hummus (too lazy to make it) so I can use some pitta breads in the freezer I found yesterday.