A new royal start

QueenJess

Thanks @MagicCat, it’s great to hear from you. It’s just a daily struggle really isn’t it, but it does make me feel a bit better when it isn’t just me. It always confuses me as to why motherhood is so poorly represented everywhere - in both video and the written word. Everything is glossed over and depicted in some weird ideal light. I don’t really think that’s healthy.

Bluegreen143

19C at night with no heating! My house was 14.5C today while I worked from home, according to the thermostat. Jealous of your amazing insulation! 

QueenJess

Bluegreen143 said:

19C at night with no heating! My house was 14.5C today while I worked from home, according to the thermostat. Jealous of your amazing insulation! 

Ooh 14.5 would be too cold for me. I’m useless in the cold! 

Don’t forget that I am very far South, so it’ll be much warmer outside down here. It’s been up to 16-17 degrees most the week.

QueenJess

Last night was the first night in the last 11 nights that DD slept better, but sadly I was still up all night with DS who was poorly and had a fever (which is unheard of).  He seems better now, but it's a bit of a mystery as to what was actually wrong with him.

Went to work yesterday, which is definitely more tiring than working at home, although I got a lot of things ticked off whilst I was there.  Despite being utterly exhausted, I tried to take advantage of my ridiculously hard work for work over the last 5 weeks or so and the fact that I generally just waiting for other people to get back to me for me to be able to do anything.  So today I:

• Changed the beds
• Added shredded paper to the compost heap to try and resurrect using it (it's currently very wet in there)
• Fed the birds
  
• Did and hung out two loads of washing
• Drove to the local hall and finalised the booking for DS's birthday, picked up some more Calpol as we've used a fair bit in the last day or so, some more milk and dropped off the soft plastics recycling
• Put some more stuff onto the buy nothing group
• Made inroads into tidying the house
• Baked some shortbread and an orange and apricot cake for pudding (just need to ice it later).  Used up some of the orange and orange zest in the freezer.
  

And obviously looked after DS as well (DH was also home).  Just need to order the router I've selected and do the charity payment for my dad's birthday and then that'll be it for today.

Breakfast today was porridge with leftover apple from the fridge (kids never seem to eat a whole one and I refuse to waste them) and sultanas.  Lunch was the last of some tomato soup I bought for myself earlier in the week when I felt awful.  Dinner will be fish and chips - not sure if I have any fish in the rammed freezer, but I have fish fingers and fishcakes.  Pudding will be the cake for us and shortbread for DS.

I've also made some progress into updating my finances spreadsheet.  More to do, but I know it won't look good.  Definitely need to take some control over it and cut some expenses.  Naughtily we did book a holiday this week for half term, but we will be reining it in after that.  It is just a few days in the UK and we had been talking about it since August.  I've had to lend the joint account money from my own savings, so I will need to treat it as a debt and slowly pay myself back.  Need to take control of the joint account again and save as much as I can from my own account to buy myself as much flexibility as I can before I request to move to part time working in April next year.  Once I've gone through it all, I can set up some goals.

Still no heating on here and it feels a bit warmer today due to the rain (plus oven usage helped).  Hoping we don't need it until November, but we shall see.  I have put the warmer duvet on the bed though.

Bluegreen143

Hope your DS is better soon, then you might get a night of decent sleep 🙏

That makes sense, just checked the weather and it’s forecast for a high of 10C tomorrow so no wonder my house is colder! However this weekend I’ve set the thermostat to 18C most of the day and turned the heating on. Can’t bear sitting about at 14C anymore and our October break started today so I don’t want the kids freezing all day. It’s forecast to rain all week too 🙄 so we will be gloomy enough without having to be cold too.

QueenJess

DS all better, but DD is waking up at least 3 times a night still and I feel horrible. Managed to get up and drive 25 mins to get DS to gymnastics for 9:15 though. Always packed with people waiting out the hour for their kids (including some kids). I am always the only person sat here reading or doing puzzles (killers, futoshiki or kakuro usually). Everyone else (including all the kids) are just glued to screens the entire time.  I love technology, but it makes me a bit sad.

Hoping for some rest today as my eyes physically hurt as I'm so tired.  Got some washing to do later when the last lot is a bit drier, but that's it for today I think.  Lunch will be tomato pasta (to use up the rest of the tomato sauce from the pizza we had on Thurs), with broccoli, a side of never ending spinach and garlic bread.  Pudding will be yogurt with fruit (either frozen or the mango if it's ripe) with shortbread. Dinner will be veggie sausages, mash, peas and leeks and pudding will be the orange and apricot cake or for DS (and DD if she wants) it will be banana and custard to use up the end of the custard from the fridge.  No one can say they won't be well fed today!

Being on these boards so much (and to be honest what I was used to growing up), I always assumed cooking from scratch was normal.  But after speaking to other school people, I think it might not be the norm at all.  I think I accidentally made someone feel bad by saying I'd never given my kids any nuggets   and I've never given them McDonalds (but then I hate that kind of processed fast food and would much prefer to make things myself - I know lots of people love it though, which must be lovely for the convenience option).  We rarely have a takeaway; I think we've had one this year and it's always fish and chips, but then the takeaways round here are really awful so the choices are not good.  I didn't try to make them feel bad, but I needed to add to the conversation and wasn't sure what to say, then they asked me a question.  Nothing wrong with a bit of convenience though... we tend to use fish fingers as ours as we all love fish fingers and I stopped making my own chips once we had kids as I have no time.

DD loves it when I bake.  I have 3 circular tins which you can store inside each other that I use for all the cakes, biscuits, flapjacks etc.  When they come out she knows there will be something yummy.  She spotted them yesterday after nursery and was desperate to see what was in them (her little eyes lit up!).  She happily gobbled a piece of shortbread.  Spoilt children!

Anyway, better go and lie down for 30 mins before DD and DH are back and I need to start making the lunch.

QueenJess

Been a bit of a stressful week as DD was sick most the week. She was absolutely fine for 24 hours and we sent her back to nursery and then got worse again. She’s just about recovered now, but is still extra cuddly with me as she realises I’m the caring one looking after her when she’s ill.

I just survived the week really and somehow got the most important work bits done. I feel terrible as even less sleep than usual and I think I have what DD had but nowhere near as bad - I’m just not hugely hungry and my digestive system feels like it’s struggling.

We are still intending to try and go on holiday later today, but I’ve not had any time to prepare. We are at gym now for DS, then back for lunch, then when DD is asleep I will be packing everything for everyone (DH cannot be trusted). I told DH to pack everything for himself and then he can be on child duty whilst I pack. It’s only until Weds so it shouldn’t be too bad 😬. Just hope I feel better soon. We are planning a simple beans on toast dinner as we will only get there about 4:30 so we don’t have to rush out to buy anything and also it’s simple and easy to digest for me and DD.

I’ve almost finished catching up with my budget and I don’t like all the overspend (now not helped by another holiday), but I do think we can catch up. I have already saved completely for the TV licence, house insurance and heating maintenance for the year, so I have extra in the budget to pay myself back. The £66 a month energy rebate will help as well and I have already bought all the kids Xmas and birthday presents, so no extra expense there, although I do have to pay for DS’s birthday party. I’m confident I can pull it all back, I just need to keep on top of it. I think the target is to be all square for end of April when I need to decide on what to do with my job.

A space has come up in the nursery walking distance from our house for DD and I’m not sure what to do. She’s nicely settled where she is, but we have to drive there. The closer one we can walk to, will more likely expose her to kids who will go to the school she will ultimately go to but isn’t quite as nice as the one she’s in now. I’ve no idea how I’m supposed to make this decision! The other option is to keep her where she is and move her one year before school to the nursery attached to the school. It’s only term time, but she would definitely find people who go to the school and will give her a head start there (DS didn’t know anyone as 95% of people came from the attached nursery). The nursery there though is very average. I’ve no idea what to do for the best. My gut feel is that she is better where she is, but it is weighing up the risk of not knowing anyone when she starts.

badmemory

Why not look at what is making the other one average compared to the one she already goes to.  It may well be that it is only things which affect you and not DD.  A good friendship group is priceless compared to going into a school where you know no-one & everyone else already has friends.

Bluegreen143

I wouldn’t worry too much about her not knowing anyone at school personally. 

My DS doesn’t go to his local school - he is in language immersion school - so he only had one child from his nursery going to his school, and they weren’t particularly friendly at nursery (though they are now as we use the same school bus stop!). Within a few weeks he had forgotten everyone he went to nursery with and made tons of friends at school. Friendships are so transient at this age that I think it’s better to suit your own routine/needs rather than base the nursery choice on that. 

Though I would also be drawn to being able to walk so that’s a dilemma!

I do find for me it’s not much hassle having my DD in a term-time only nursery as my DS is off school anyway so it just means that whoever has him, has her too (it’s always us or one of our mums)… but if your DS goes to lots of holiday clubs rather than being looked after by yourself/relatives it may be difficult to cover the holidays for DD. I occasionally work from home with the kids off in the holidays and for me it works better with both kids as they play together - so it’s possible it won’t be an issue having her off in the holidays. Lots to consider!

QueenJess

@badmemory @Bluegreen143 thanks for your thoughts.  I probably made the options about as clear as mud .  I technically have three different options:

1. Stay where we are.  It's a drive to get there, but it is the same one DS was at and they are absolutely fantastic and have amazing facilities.

2. Stay where we are until the year before school and then move to the school attached nursery.  It is walkable and will be the same place we drop off DS.  Also 99% of the kids from there move onto the school.  However, it's nowhere near as good as the current one we are in in terms of facilities, the people there and the way they do things.  Also it's only term time based and we have no family/friends etc for childcare.  So although we might be able to cover most holidays using up all out holiday, the summer would be a bit of a nightmare.

3. Move to the nursery closer to us.  It is nice and the nearest one to the school so most people will probably go to the local school (or the new one built a bit further away).  It is walkable and is on the way to school anyway.  It just isn't quite as nice as the one DD is in and loves and the philosophy is a bit different.

Money is irrelevant between the choices as they are all equally expensive.  I would love to walk to nursery, but it isn't a huge deal since I work from home.  I think the main choice is around whether it is better to leave her where she is (and is really happy) or try moving her somewhere she might or might not be as happy, but will make friends before she goes to school.  Really it's timing... make new friends now or when starting school.  If everything was equal I would leave her where she is.  It's a bit of a dilemma really.  I think option 2 is out because it is only term time and just isn't going to work.

We eventually made it on holiday on Sat, although we were still deciding up to Sat morning.  Luckily DD had just got over her horrible bout of sickness.  Sadly she gave it to me, although I wasn't sick, just felt not quite myself and had little appetite.  The kids loved it though and DD actually slept fine in a different place this time.  DD has been babbling and coming up with new words everyday.  It's been so nice to spend time with them.  DD still believes all birds are ducks (she is obsessed with ducks) and yesterday made me chuckle when she saw an Emu and shouted "big duck!".

I'm off work the rest of the week with DS.  This morning we popped to the library to change books and stay for a free Lego hour.  This afternoon DS is off for a play date locally.  I'm not clear if I can escape or if I should be staying... I think I'll see how the land lies.

I think I've worked out I need a month off work to catch up with everything I need to get sorted.  Obviously that is never going to happen, so I'm going to have to shoehorn in what I can when I can.  I'm going to have to find more time for money saving because the more I can save, the better my options are come April.  I would rather have time off, but I think the sensible thing to do is try and go part time first and see how it works out.  That way I am also still in the workplace and gives us a bit of money breathing space.  It really feels like an ongoing dilemma I just can't stop thinking about.

Whilst DS is home we are clearing out his room (and cleaning it all at the same time).  We did his bedside table earlier before the library and I am hoping we can blitz the rest of the room before the weekend.  We had a session in August, so in theory it shouldn't be too bad to go through.  He knows the deal with decluttering by now and that he needs to get rid of things he doesn't use/doesn't want anymore to make space for xmas/birthday presents.  He did a great job already, so I have high hopes for the rest of his room!  Then next week I'll make a start on DD's room.  I'd love to do it all before xmas, but not sure I have time for that.  If the worst bits are done and the place is tidy, that'll be fine.

Riverford delivery arrived today and I need to sort through the fridge and get it away.  As DD was ill and at home last week, I didn't get everything done I had planned and need to go through everything in the fridge and save whatever I can.  It'll probably require some baking.  Luckily I have a bit of freezer space.  I think the aim for November is to avoid food shopping for as long as possible and then do a massive month long stock up for December so I can avoid any crazy xmas food shopping queues. 

At least it is still mild so my heating hasn't clicked on yet.  I noticed that the place was 3 degrees colder on holiday (we were basically down the road), so I guess that's the difference with a super insulated house?  I am waiting for DD's room to drop under 18.5 degrees before the heating comes on as I think she'll start to then struggle as she hates the cold.  Last night it was 20.3!  Money was spent on holiday, but mostly on going to places for the day.  We did buy lunch/dinner out (DD is at the stage she hates sandwiches and eats a ton so we have to give her something hot) but nothing expensive.  Making something is just too much faff right now given lack of time (and my continuing lack of sleep) and I wanted a holiday too!  We found some of the packed lunch options too large for DS and so he had half one day and we saved the half for the next day.  We also just had beans on toast when we arrived as we got there for dinner, gave the kids yogurts for puddings back at the cottage each night and made a quick freezer fish and chips when we got back last night rather than a takeaway.  All saves a bit of cash.  I did relent on the last day and let the kids have a toy each from the last place we went.  Usually DS has to buy his own with his own pocket money and we are trying to get him out of the idea he has to get something from everywhere we go.  DD obviously hasn't a care in the world, so is easier in that respect!

No money to be spent today.  Long may that continue!  I also picked up books from the local free site last night that I can use for the kids presents and I've spotted a couple of other books/magazines on there I have asked to be considered for.  Apart from some favourite snacks/chocolate for the kids, the kids are done for birthday/xmas.  I must remember to plan for the next year again in Jan/Feb when all the second hand stuff online gets cheaper (they ramp up prices end Sept-December).  I'm sure something will be along shortly to trip up my moneysaving.