Being kind to yourself

Jambobabi

Has anyone found themselves in a similar situation? 
SC DMP for 2 years. Self managed DMP for a year. Reduced my debt from £21k to under £6k. Have a healthy emergency fund for lifes little setbacks. Been throwing money I've saved during lockdown at the smallest debt, which will be gone by christmas. Yet every month when I do my finance spreadsheet, I cant stop being angry at myself for still owing £6k.

I know that I've achieved a lot and I am on top of everything, but I just can't stand seeing that negative number at the moment.

Has anyone else experienced similar, and have any tips to overcome this?

ryanm8655

I can relate, I feel the same sometimes despite making great progress and the fact I’ll likely be debt free by Christmas. Thoughts of where I’d be had I not been in debt start to bother me.

Two things help. Firstly think about the counter factual, essentially where you’d be had you not had that lightbulb moment. Secondly, in economics you ignore sunk costs in decision making, ultimately you are where you are, your debt was a sunk cost, all you can do is accept it and move on.

You’ve done tremendously well, you should be proud of that. 

ceremony

You've made amazing progress and you've stuck with it for three years. That's more than many people do. At that rate of progress it sounds like another year or so and you'll be debt free?

You're doing great. It's normal to feel a bit frustrated that things aren't happening 'instantly', but you've come so far, and have an emergency fund too!

I think you deserve to treat yourself. Budget for something affordable that you'll enjoy as a pick me up and then focus on busting that small debt you mentioned. When you tick that off I think it will be a great boost.

Pmaddocks86

Absolutely, but you need to keep sight of the success you’ve had because that is an impressive amount to have paid off in a short time. I paid all my debt off this year but in January still had 5-6k to go. Those last few months were hard because it felt so close to being done.  I felt as if I was just waiting around for pay day so I could pay a little more off. 

One thing I will say that surprised me is when I did make that final payment, I didn’t feel quite as I thought I would. It was amazing that it was over but I can’t say I felt happier or relieved. I had to remind myself of just what I had accomplished a lot. Months after however I felt how I hoped. Savings in the bank and I can enjoy my life a lot more and plan for the future. Maybe one of the things you can do to build your excitement for this debt journey finishing is to plan what you are going to do when it ends?? Savings... investments... etc 

sassman

Yes, I've experienced anger, sadness, frustration etc. My wife helped massively by reassuring me how the debt graph was dropping month on month. Those couple of weeks in the middle of a working month when all the overpayments are made are the worst when I can't do anything more until I get paid again.

I addressed that by enhancing skills in my main hobby (visual effects / film production) and vented my frustrations by building computer models and blowing them in short films lol! My advice to you would be to have something else to take up those moments when you start to doubt yourself.

You've done well and that's no small thing. 

RyanHello

There is no point looking in the past. You know you're on the right path and that's the main thing.
It's good you've also built up a emergency fund as well. Keep doing what you're doing!

in_need_of_direction

Been where you are but I can tell you that remembering that anger and frustration has helped me stay debt free.  

One-step-at-a-time

Absolutely. I'm kind to myself most of the time now, but the last £12k of debt repayment for me will be the amount of interest I racked up over the course of the idiot years, and knowing that if I'd woken up sooner I could be done by now is still a tough pill to swallow. I try to look at how far I've come rather than what's left, and be happy in the knowledge that the blinkers will never go back on.

Jambobabi

Great to here I'm not alone in my thinking! 
Thanks everyone, it brings some faith to me knowing others have felt the same. As long as I keep the focus I have now then all I need is time and bit of patience.