soon to be debts

triplepink

I've been a long time lurker and with this site I cleared my debts a few years ago.
Since then I have some savings that somehow get eaten up but unforeseen problems - vet bills, supporting my mum's income when unemployed etc.
lately my mental health has been awful and I'm taking the first steps to deal with that via counselling. I've had clinical depression more than half my life and I take Prozac.
I've noticed that I can't stop spending. Even if its just the odd £20 here and there or popping to the shop I'll grab unnecessary items, even food when I'm too down to cook!
It's sucking up my savings which I use to pay for these extra spends. I'm down to 1,000 in savings which is good as a back up but what happens when I spend it, will I then use my credit cards? I have 2 with total limits of £9,000 but both have a 0 balance thankfully.
I know I shouldn't, I regret it after and yet I can't stop! help!

RobM99

First point - you've acknowledged the problem before getting into debt. It's just a matter of discipline, really. Don't buy what you don't need ( as opposed to want ) to start.

ryanm8655

I’d advise getting rid of the cards for one. My debt journey started with 2 “just in case” credit cards that I didn’t use for the first 4 years...I end up with £30k of card debt.

Secondly, how about setting out a budget for the month and dividing your cash into pots? Tracking it in a budgeting app or spreadsheet could be a distraction/motivator.

Never bury your head in the sand would be my advice. I check my bank virtually daily now. I used to actively avoid it in the past.

Fireflyaway

My husband has depression and he does the same. I'd really recommend closing down your credit card accounts so you can't use them. If you have a cash emergency fund you don't need them. I too have a problem with making my money last. By week 2 after payday it's gone. I went into town yesterday and was quite jealous of the people enjoying the eat out to help out scheme. I had just £1.40p in my purse so I couldn't. I'm going to try separating my spending money from my bills money and withdrawing 1/4 each week. When its spent, that's it until next week. Could you try that? Also try writing down what you spend. It makes you think twice when you see all the bits are up. I'm by no means good with money ! These are tips recommended to me that seem worth a try! 

moneyonmymindsam

Hi , 
Just wanted to post to say if you are worried about being in debt, could you dramatically reduce the balance on one card and get rid of the other?
Its great that you have a savings fund.
Do you have anything you can sell to boost your savings pot - even give eBay a try .
A little notepad or spending tracker app may keep you more focused on needs rather than wants .
Good luck,
Sam 

triplepink

thanks for the advice.
i do budget and stick to it - all these spends i put on a card and then pay off when I get paid.
I just keep spending for no reason, I can't stop myself and I need to! 

Sharon87

triplepink said:

thanks for the advice.
i do budget and stick to it - all these spends i put on a card and then pay off when I get paid.
I just keep spending for no reason, I can't stop myself and I need to! 

I know the feeling, I've spent more in lockdown than I should have. I would suggest at least reducing your credit card limit, maybe to 1 or 2000 at most and cancel the 2nd one. 
There is a demotivator tool that you may be interested in on this site to help reduce spending:  https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/shopping/demotivator/

Here's a few tips I try to use to stop me spending
Whenever I feel the urge to buy something I try to wait for a bit. See a top I like? I'll wait a week or two, if I still want it I may consider buying it if I've got money in the budget. Want a takeaway?  Have a snack to reduce your hunger or think about how long takeaways take to arrive versus how long it'll take to cook something simple like a jacket potato in microwave or fish and chips in the oven. And keep some prepared meals in the freezer for those 'i want a takeaway' days.

Also find a free/very cheap hobby to occupy your time. I sometimes spend money when I'm bored, so I've started designing slogan t-shirts and selling them on teepublic/red bubble. Keeps me busy and I can earn a few extra quid a month.

MissYorkshire

I have this problem, and I don't think it's actually got anything to do with whether you're any good at budgeting or not. The main thing that helps me is trying different types of self care. So when I feel down and get that urge to go buy stuff for the sake of it, I'll run a bath with candles and radox and my favourite toiletries, or I'll put on a cheap face mask or practice a new hairstyle. Exercise is a very good one if you can be bothered, also cleaning, music, watching soothing/calming videos with earphones in. I find slow/simple living videos work best for me, as it helps you realise you don't need material items to be content. Batch cooking and freezing when you feel okay is a good idea, as you can just microwave those meals when you next start feeling low. If that's not your thing then maybe buy some convenience food from a supermarket to get you through, as that's probably a cheaper option than fast food and takeaway.

I learnt this at counselling, and at first I thought 'Yeah right, as if something as simple as that is going to make any difference when I've felt like this for years and nothing's worked!', but it really, really does. Also, weirdly enough, depressive episodes tend to pass a lot faster if you let yourself just be miserable for a few days, rather than trying to put it to the back of your mind by spending (Or eating, drinking alcohol etc). So I'd say just focus on limiting the damage until you're feeling better mentally, then be as strict as you like with your budget. I'm sure counselling will be a big help, especially CBT for the spending part.

Kakiste

I also agree with getting rid of at least one if not both of the cards. I've spent more than half of my 20s and will spend a significant portion of my 30s in debt which all spiralled out of control very quickly. Quit whilst you are ahead. 

Also I completely agree with the cheep hobby. I got my daughter and I really into pebbleart (painting pebbles, hiding them in parks etc  and looking for other people's pebbles) last summer. It's the time where I had to make loads of massive cutbacks and really drive the lifestyle change In our family. So I redirected us into a completely free activity which also was a huge time sink. It also helped me because the alternative to spending money wasn't sitting at home doing nothing. 

strawb_shortcake

No idea if this would work for you, but I'm obsessive in other ways with money constantly keeping track of my spend and forward planning how much I can save. When you want to buy something not budgeted for can you stick it in another account instead?
I have issues spending money perhaps unhealthily so but on the plus side I don't have debt. 
It's not easy and my behaviour causes arguments at home

DebtHurricane

Fireflyaway said:

My husband has depression and he does the same. I'd really recommend closing down your credit card accounts so you can't use them. If you have a cash emergency fund you don't need them. I too have a problem with making my money last. By week 2 after payday it's gone. I went into town yesterday and was quite jealous of the people enjoying the eat out to help out scheme. I had just £1.40p in my purse so I couldn't. I'm going to try separating my spending money from my bills money and withdrawing 1/4 each week. When its spent, that's it until next week. Could you try that? Also try writing down what you spend. It makes you think twice when you see all the bits are up. I'm by no means good with money ! These are tips recommended to me that seem worth a try! 

I just treated myself to these budgeting envelope things, and I’m hoping it will get me disciplined with money. On amazon type in “clever fox envelope” and you’ll see them. They’re all different colours and you use them for each category.