New - feeling overwhelmed

lightisfading

Agreed Andyjflat, it IS worrying. Gonna start accounting for all my spends from payday this month and hopefully get a better grip on it all.

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paulburns1984

I think rather than just shaving bit off your expenditure, there's a fundamental issue here that you probably need to think about...
You said you managed to save £400 to spend on a 'much needed mattress'. You are broke, in debt, you may have to forego some pleasures like a new mattress in order to get out of a debt. As long as you've got a mattress (you could've bought a cheap mattress for 100-150 from dunelm/argos, or even cheaper second hand good mattress) then that 400 could have gone on debt. Similar to you buying a car. If you want to get out of debt you need to keep reminding yourself your broke and that you can't have some of the things - or the premium version of things - you want until you've made headway with your debt. This might not be everyone's advice, but I think this kind of realisation is central to changing your overspending habits.
No amount of playing around % or interest rates will help as much as getting a hold on your attitude to spending on things you want.
Just my view.

BabyStepper

You need to start paying attention to your spends NOW, don't wait until payday, your cash needs looking after even when you don't think you have much. 

I totally agree with paulburns1984 about the mattress. We got an entire brand new bed for free off gumtree once, from a couple's spare room that had been slept on twice. You need to start thinking differently about your needs and how to get them met. Before you buy something, stop and think, how can I make this happen as cheaply as possible?

Glad to see you posting again.   

kimwp

How are you getting on with your SOA? Tracking your spend going forward is vital (starting now as @BabyStepper says), but in looking through your accounts for the last 6-12 months, you will understand where that extra £400 goes. You don't have to post it here, but doing so will get you the most useful advice from posters.

I find some of your approach a bit confusing - did you reduce the amount you are using the overdraft or reduce the overdraft allowance? Either way, you need to have a full grip on your finances first otherwise you might end up in more debt elsewhere. Same for the regular savings. It's a great aspiration to save up some money, but if you can't afford it, then you'll end up financing it through expensive credit, which isn't a sensible approach.

lightisfading

Re. the mattress, my previous one I bought 8 years ago, very cheaply (2nd hand) , and was too soft for me. I'd been getting back pain for ages and putting it off and putting it off, and eventually went for it as I could pay cash and not stick it on a card. And as I'm in a high risk group with Covid, didn't want to buy such a thing second hand during a pandemic. I'm not one of these people who regularly goes to expensive furniture stores to buy stuff like that, and in fact I buy all furniture second hand usually - but I needed a decent mattress! (and I live in a town with a MASSIVE proportion of students etc so decent second hand staff disappears basically immediately, it's not that easy!)

Re. buying a car, I've been trying to learn for many, many years (I struggled with the test). I eventually passed in November after pouring (probably) thousands into it. At the time I was 50/50 buying or using a 'rent when you need' type plan, but I decided to buy because I was (legitimately) very likely to completely lose my confidence at it if I didn't get driving immediately. So again, a decision I thought about but not one I feel bad for - especially given that Covid hit and I would up grocery shopping and pet-transporting for myself (at risk) and elderly parent for 5 months, and can get to work etc safely.

Now, I realise this may all sounds like excuses - but these were two carefully considered purchases. Yes, I spend above my means, but I genuinely don't think the actual problem is these things but the other money that I have no idea where it goes!

I reduced my overdraft this month, meaning I have been forced to spend less. I tend to spend what money I have, so it's forced me to stop buying crap and eat from the freezer rather than grocery shop!

I will sit down and do my SOA , will admit I've just not got round to it as I've just done 2 weeks of 12 hour days so I've done little more than eat, sleep and work. Getting there..!!

Thank you all for your stern parenting

paulburns1984

Only you know you, but one can rationalize any purchase.
I can only give this advice, because I was exactly that way before I sorted myself out.

At the end of the day, please don't feel you need to justify to any of us, the only one that this will affect is you, and your family (sorry don't know your family situation). It's you who will be in debt and we are all adults who have to make our own choices about money.

A quick google finds a new double mattress from argos for £99 though. Like I say, it's your life and you make your choices. And that's the way it should be.

I wouldn't consider it stern parenting, but compassionate parenting. Compassion for others isn't always about being nice, or saying what people would like to hear. It's often more valuable to people to be honest and help them empathically confront something they might be avoiding - not saying you are avoiding - only you will know that, but I'd really encourage you to spend some time reflecting on whether or not you are being honest with yourself.

Good luck with it all, I hope you manage to get out of this mess