Wedding Reception Going Ahead

LordDC

Hello,

I am best man to a wedding happening this week. This date was planned pre Covid. The original plan was to have the ceremony in a church, then have the reception at a marquee in a private field for circa 150 people. Due to Covid, the marquee plan is not happening. Bride and groom are still going ahead with the church ceremony for 30 people, and have then planned for these 30 people to attend a wedding reception in their back garden. There will be around 35 people at the makeshift reception. This goes against the recent government rules and makes me and my wife very uncomfortable, as the garden isn't the biggest, so maintaining a distance will be a struggle. The main concern alongside breaking the rules, is my wife being 11 weeks pregnant. We are yet to tell anyone, and have the scan booked for next week so wouldn't want to miss that through having to self isolate for 10 days should someone show symptoms post wedding, or even worse, we catch Covid and the complications that could occur to her and baby. 

Wife is keen to go to the ceremony, but forego the reception. I am in 2 minds.

What would you do?

Thanks.

[Deleted User]

Your wife sounds very smart.  Listen to her.

LordDC

Deleted_User said:

Your wife sounds very smart.  Listen to her.

She's much smarter than me. I think you are both right.
Thanks for the reply.

pjcox2005

Whilst I understand not wanting to let others know in the early stages of pregnancy, if your close enough to be a best man, then I think you should share, let the groom know why and then do what your comfortable with. If that's just the ceremony then that's fine etc, but let the groom know that things like a best man speech therefore won't be happening (if he was expecting one at all). Think you just need to be honest in this situation and go with your gut (or wife's in this case).

LordDC

pjcox2005 said:

Whilst I understand not wanting to let others know in the early stages of pregnancy, if your close enough to be a best man, then I think you should share, let the groom know why and then do what your comfortable with. If that's just the ceremony then that's fine etc, but let the groom know that things like a best man speech therefore won't be happening (if he was expecting one at all). Think you just need to be honest in this situation and go with your gut (or wife's in this case).

Thanks @pjcox2005 . I have been on the phone to him for the last hour having a chat and explained the situation. He was very understanding and was very excited for our news. The wife 1-0 LordDC.

Thanks all.

mr_stripey

LordDC said:

pjcox2005 said:

Whilst I understand not wanting to let others know in the early stages of pregnancy, if your close enough to be a best man, then I think you should share, let the groom know why and then do what your comfortable with. If that's just the ceremony then that's fine etc, but let the groom know that things like a best man speech therefore won't be happening (if he was expecting one at all). Think you just need to be honest in this situation and go with your gut (or wife's in this case).

Thanks @pjcox2005 . I have been on the phone to him for the last hour having a chat and explained the situation. He was very understanding and was very excited for our news. The wife 1-0 LordDC.

Thanks all.

always listen to the wife! Wife always knows best!

LordDC

mr_stripey said:

LordDC said:

pjcox2005 said:

Whilst I understand not wanting to let others know in the early stages of pregnancy, if your close enough to be a best man, then I think you should share, let the groom know why and then do what your comfortable with. If that's just the ceremony then that's fine etc, but let the groom know that things like a best man speech therefore won't be happening (if he was expecting one at all). Think you just need to be honest in this situation and go with your gut (or wife's in this case).

Thanks @pjcox2005 . I have been on the phone to him for the last hour having a chat and explained the situation. He was very understanding and was very excited for our news. The wife 1-0 LordDC.

Thanks all.

always listen to the wife! Wife always knows best!

Happy wife... happy life!

bradders1983

Right...so are you still the best man as a result of this conversation or not?

LordDC

bradders1983 said:

Right...so are you still the best man as a result of this conversation or not?

Still the best man. Although won't be looking after the rings due to Covid. So will essentially just be standing 2m away from him at the alter for a bit wearing the same suit, and won't be doing a speech now due to not attending the reception. So kind of best man, kind of not I suppose?  

74jax

Could you record a speach to be played at the reception?  That those who also can't attend can watch if they want? 

LordDC

74jax said:

Could you record a speach to be played at the reception?  That those who also can't attend can watch if they want? 

Very good idea! Yes I could, and I will. Thanks for the suggestion.