Help and advice needed

W1ckywoo2020

Hi,
I’m in hell and can’t seem to see a way out.  When I was 19 my parents pressured me in to taking out a joint mortgage with my mother to buy a house as my dad had debt and wouldn’t be accepted. Young and stupid I agreed. Throughout the next ten years, my mom racked up 50k debt going on multiple holidays a year, credit cards etc. So the pressure was applied again to remortgage to cover this or we would loose the house. Bearing in mind my parents were paying the mortgage and I was paying them rent etc..  2 years after remortgage my dad decides he doesn’t want to work no more and my mom is forced to stop paying the mortgage as she couldn’t cover all the bills. During this time I tried to get the house valued to see if we could see it but she refused to even consider it as she was waiting to get a council house and wouldn’t get one if we sold the house. I eventually moved out to a private let and they moved in with my sister when it was reclaimed by the bank. It sold at suction for pittance. However she never informed me how little it went for. She then went bankrupt but I couldn’t due to my living arrangement. Move forward to 2 years ago. I was chased for the shortfall of nearly 40k. My parents arent interested in helping me now they have their lives back. I currently live with my partner but this has added so much strain to our relationship. He won’t accept my predicament. When I set up a payment plan with them 2 years ago it almost split us up but a year ago I asked him to allow me to be a joint named on his account due to fraud being committed on my personal bank account and the fear of going bankrupt and having no bank account. Jump forward to today and the mortgage company  wants to review payments and I’m back to square one. Only this time He’s worries about the savings in our account as he is trying to save for a mortgage. I don’t know what to do. The reality of this being a part of my life forever is making me very unstable. Our relationship is on egg shells. I asked him to remove me from his bank account and I will open a new one for my salary and he will not even listen to me. I have sent off my payment offer to them and it hasnt changed from the one I have been pAying for nearly 2 years. I’m terrified it will be rejected. I have been looking at iva’s but then I have read all the horror stories and bankruptcy is just as terrifying. I dont know how I would be able to live with myself if my partner would be expected to practically support me with such severe financial restrictions.  I feel trapped and I’m drinking too much to even think straight. I had a bout of dark depression before this all started 2 years ago and I dont want to go back there. To top things off, I’m on furlough till October with the possibility of further redundancies where I work. I don’t know what to do or which way to turn. I wish the ground would just swallow me up. 

Gillianh2

Oh Wickywoo I don’t have much practical help to offer but couldn’t read and run. Please try to settle yourself have you tried contacting Citizens Advice they could help you find a solution. You could proactively set up a “Monzo” account to have your wages paid into thus freeing you from your partners account. I suggest “Monzo” only as it can be done on line and works well and can’t be overdrawn. Nobody can take money you don’t have have to say think your parents are being totally spiteful in not helping you to resolve the situation they put you in. Have you any siblings? Maybe they could help you to get your parents to cough up. Please try to contact Citizens Advice. I’m sure there will be some far more knowledgeable peeps posting soon.

please keep us updated and remember NOTHING is ever as bad as we think it or imagine xxx take care xx

Minkym00

It would be really helpful if you could post up your full statement of affairs as it would tell us what your financial position is and best options. 

Bankruptcy is ideal if you have an asset such as a house to protect. You don’t, but presumably are looking to get a mortgage with your partner in due course?

How much savings is there in the joint account as half will be deemed to be yours as far as the Official Receiver is concerned? If you take your name off the account you are effectively giving away your share which would be questioned. 

fatbelly

Post a soa and we can see what is going on.

I found your post very difficult to read.

I think you're saying that you have one debt - an old mortgage shortfall.

It shouldn't be necessary to go bankrupt because of that

Minky - I think you meant Bankruptcy is NOT ideal