Resign or unpaid leave? Shortening notice?

Kirri1997

Hi again guys,
my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer in June. He didn’t tell me until 3 weeks ago and I spoke with my manager straight away. I said I need to leave for his treatment (2-3 months) or resign.

my manager said I don’t have to resign, “we’ll work it out”. 

My manager asked me the following week if I have any more information regarding dates and I said I am not sure what’s happening with my dads treatment (my dad didn’t know and didn’t want to talk to me about it but eventually gave me permission to speak with his consultant). 

After I spoke with the consultant I sent the dates I need to be off (10 weeks total). I sent this last week. My manager again told me “don’t worry, we’ll work something out”.

One week later and I have just been asked to see if there is any “compromise” to be done regarding the dates. Either going for shorter time or to delay it.

I feel guilty for not being flexible at all.. but I am so worried about my dad. 

I had asked to be furloughed to care for a dependant as in a way, he will be dependant on me as he lives alone and He will need Someone to help him. Im his only child and close family.
that’s not an option apparently, and I with total rent of £3000 To be covered I can’t actually afford unpaid leave for 10 weeks.

I’m unable to shorten the time period as I’m already only staying with him for 10 out of 14 weeks. 

The way I see it my only option is to resign.. however because I was under the impression we would “work something out” I now have to work my 4 week notice from today and won’t make it home for when my dad (hopefully) is home from hospital.

Im thinking to ask my employer to shorten my notice, but how do I do that in a nice way? What would you do in my situation?  I love my work place, I’ve been here 4 years and it is the best job I’ve ever had, and an amazing environment. I will be sad to resign but I see no other way.. I also have the worry that my dad will not be better in time for me to return to England and then I’ll put my employer in a bad situation. 

KatrinaWaves

Offer to take it unpaid, basically. 

JCS1

Unless you had been furloughed before 10th June, you cannot be furloughed now.  Could any of your job be done from home and flexible working? 

Kirri1997

JCS1 said:

Unless you had been furloughed before 10th June, you cannot be furloughed now.  Could any of your job be done from home and flexible working? 

Thank you for your time. I was furloughed from March-> June but came off it for month of July.

All my work can be done from home apart from the fact I am the one to let everyone in and out of the building. It’s a shame but I’m not sure how they’d ever get that organised as it’s a lot of people coming and going all the time

theoretica

How would you be better off if you resign than if you are on unpaid leave?

Also, seriously, please talk to Macmillan cancer support, they are really great and may suggest answers you haven't thought about.

Kirri1997

KatrinaWaves said:

Offer to take it unpaid, basically. 

Thank you.
thinking about it more closely I can just take a bank loan to cover it I guess. But my employer still says it’s too long, which is pushing me towards resigning.

if my dad would get better of course I’d come back sooner than after 10 weeks. I’d prefer to bring him with me to England Actually but I need to know he’s healthy enough first And has finished his treatment.0

MovingForwards

How far away does your dad live from you?

Kirri1997

MovingForwards said:

How far away does your dad live from you?

He lives in Sweden. So 2 of the requested 10 weeks will be spent in quarantine when Coming back to England

Kirri1997

theoretica said:

How would you be better off if you resign than if you are on unpaid leave?

Also, seriously, please talk to Macmillan cancer support, they are really great and may suggest answers you haven't thought about.

I wouldn’t have to keep my accommodation. I pay £1400/month and have a two week notice.

I would easily get a small income in Sweden, to cover what I need for the basics there (working from my dads home so I can still isolate with covid19 in mind). I don’t think I can take work in Sweden if I’m still technically living in England tho. 

getmore4less

All my work can be done from home

Would working part time remotely be an option?

As long as you can flex the hours/days because this sort of care/assistance can be full days sometimes, other very light. 

Whatever you do(resign/unpaid) they have to sort out the access situation

Kirri1997

getmore4less said:

Would working part time remotely be an option?

As long as you can flex the hours/days because this sort of care/assistance can be full days sometimes, other very light. 

Whatever you do(resign/unpaid) they have to sort out the access situation

I will offer it but doubt they will accept. The thought of having to stay 1 month to work my notice when my dad is in hospital in another country is really stressing me out. 😔

I am not sure how to ask them to shorten my notice.. it is such bad timing but I am scared about not being there for him. He has an autoimmune disease which has been affecting his respiratory muscles since he had pneumonia in March 😔