Helping a friend, gentle advice needed

[Deleted User]

A few months ago I joined this social networking site to meet new people during lockdown. On this site you have the option to purchase virtual currency, where you can pay money for gifting virtual items to friends. Through this site I met a wonderful young man who has become a good friend and we talk on a regular basis. 
He called me recently in complete distress, saying he had wasted a ton of money on the website, had virtually liquidified all his savings and has all but maxed out his credit card. He's slipped into the red now, albeit very slightly, and didn't realise the habit he had was so bad. He's spent in excess of £3000 that I know of, possibly more.
(just to add, he's deleted the social network app, so he cant spend anymore)

He's only 25 and coupled with his mental health/lockdown worries it's almost tipped him over the edge. I've tried to console him as best I can and tried to offer some advice. Ultimately it is his own doing and he realises this, but he doesnt have a straightforward idea of how to get back on the track and start his repayments. I've sent him some links from the main MSE website but there is nothing to cover what is essentially a gambling debt.
He's also just started back at work, and gets paid every month, we've checked the benefits calculator and he's not eligible for any support ie: Working Tax/UC.

Can anybody please help me to get him through this? 

sourcrates

Hi,

He`s not asking you for money is he ?

Debt advice is easy to obtain, is the £3000 the extent of his debts ?

Its not a massive amount, and can be easily managed most likely by better budgeting, or some kind of arrangement with his creditors, its difficult to advise further without knowing more details on his finances etc.

[Deleted User]

sourcrates said

He`s not asking you for money is he ? 

No, that issue has not come up and I have no intentions of offering. It's his mess and while I'm happy to assist him, I wont be offering my savings his way.
£3000 is what I know of - he's drained £2k in savings and another £1k on the credit card. If there are other pools he's dipped into I am not quite aware, but I can broach the subject and get a few more details. 
He's still living at home with his parents (not sure about rent, but likely not paying it, as he's blown through so much online). Not about to ask for help from bank of Mum and Dad as he's too embarrassed to face them about it. 

edit to add: I purely came on the forum to help him out after a lengthy break from it, because the advice and articles were SO helpful for me. But then I took over our family finances eight years ago, it's a different situation totally and we were lucky that we didnt have any debts immediately that needed sorting - moreso we needed to overhaul our finances massively. 

halfamo

So really he is 1000 in debt as 2k is from savings. That is £20 a week for a year . It doesn't sound so terrible if looked at that way. If I were him, I would be looking at paying off as much as I could each time his wages roll around and it will soon be gone. 

sourcrates

As far as you know then its only the credit card thats over the limit, so a payment of x amount would bring that back under control ?

I don`t think its debt advice he needs, just a bit of a common sense talking too might help.

Surely just pay the amount the credit card company are asking for, or if that`s not possible, make an arrangement with them, from what you say he`s only gone over his limit, the whole £1000 debt won`t be due.

[Deleted User]

Thank you both, you have both raised some very good points. I'm due to talk with him this evening, so I will prod him for some more details and get back to you with some more information. 
Don't think the credit card company are chasing him (yet). I think I will do the common sense route and try to get him to make some changes to his finances initially, and take it from there.  (including telling him that paying £7 for his costa lunch everyday might be out the window!!) 

sharpe106

He just needs common sense talking into him, as it does not sound the debt will do too ,much harm, just a waste. Looks like packed up for lunch will soon make a dent in that. 

enthusiasticsaver

He may have wasted £3000 but as  others said his debt is only £1000 and he lives with his parents so his outgoings will be low.  Tell him to cut back by taking his own lunch to work from home, cut back on his spending and start to make repayments on the credit card.  Suggest he stops using the card and takes himself off any gambling sites or social media sites or apps with purchases so he wont be tempted again.  Expensive lesson. 

DCFC79

I cant really anything that hasnt already been said.
I agree he needs to just be sensible, does he need to buy x.
Various things he could do, change where he does his grocery shop and cook from scratch will help.

monetxchange

All good advice above. If he cut out his £140 a month lunch habit he could have the debt cleared in no time. I'd also advise against anyone paying real money to buy "virtual gifts" - so basically giving a company money for them sending absolutely nothing!

Fatsdom

Would it be possible for you to post his SOA so we can look for quick savings to get this paid off ASAP? There are bound to be a few.

The credit card company won't be remotely bothered about this as long as he makes the minimum payments, which won't be much.