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One income family of four - can we get ahead even after pay cuts?

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  • Baileys_Babe
    Baileys_Babe Posts: 6,267 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Glad to hear Red is recovering from his dental treatment. I have had root canal treatment on at least 2 teeth, many years ago, so he has my sympathy.

    Thank you for the reminder I need to contact our Dentist to see if they have resumed check-ups as our appointments were cancelled due to lockdown.
    Fashion on a ration 2025 0/66 coupons spent
    79.5 coupons rolled over 4/75.5 coupons spent - using for secondhand purchases

    One
     income, home educating family 
  • Bluegreen143
    Bluegreen143 Posts: 3,707 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Poor Red has now been told his tooth isn’t a candidate for root canal treatment anyway except if he wanted to go private, and they recommend just pulling it. Which is what we are going to do but now he’s dreading Friday... would have been better to get it over and done with when he had the other one done!

    Had a very nice morning with Bambi while Monkey was at nursery. We walked to nursery even though it was raining - I have done so every morning and I’m so pleased I’m making it a habit! A much nicer start to the morning than sitting in a car stuck in traffic. I had kitted her out in her waterproof overalls/jacket/wellies so once we had done the nursery run I thought I might as well take her to the playpark across the road. After we were done there I had a notion to walk down the road to a local community green space/play area/community garden. When I got there I discovered that though they haven’t resumed their outdoor playgroup on Wed mornings, some mums are going there at that time anyway as it’s all outdoors and you can stand socially distanced while the kids play (under 12s are allowed to play without social distancing here, I’ve lost track of that’s allowed in England!). So it “felt” like the playgroup even though it’s not officially and I met a few new lovely people and just generally had a very nice time totally by accident and despite the rain! Love when we manage to have fun without spending any money.

    Did spend 85p on milk today as have run out and don’t get another delivery til Friday. But apart from food and Red’s parking fine we have been good the last couple of weeks - very little spent at all.
    Part time working mum | Married in 2014 | DS born 2015 & DD born 2018

    https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6542225/stopping-the-backsliding-a-family-of-four-no-longer-living-beyond-their-means/p1?new=1

    Consumer debt free!
    Mortgage: -£128,033

    Savings: £6,050
    - Emergency fund £1,515
    - New kitchen £556
    - December £420
    - Holiday £3,427
    - Bills £132

    Total joint pension savings: £55,425
  • Baileys_Babe
    Baileys_Babe Posts: 6,267 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    I used to dress my children up similar on wet or damp days and go to the park, we had lots of fun and they get enjoyed themselves.
    I did my best to avoid, my children getting cold, wet or hungry as they are easier to be around, Lol. Having a snack and a water bottle with me helped as well.
    I also invested in a stainless steel vacuum travel mug so I could have a hot drink whilst out and about in all weathers, it made a huge difference to my comfort and saved a fortune on buying a tea or coffee whilst out.

    Sounds like you and Bambi had a lovely morning, especially at not playgroup.
    Fashion on a ration 2025 0/66 coupons spent
    79.5 coupons rolled over 4/75.5 coupons spent - using for secondhand purchases

    One
     income, home educating family 
  • missymoo81
    missymoo81 Posts: 8,006 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Oh your time at the park sounds lovely. I love being in the rain. To the point I have just added umbrellas to the xmas list for the children as we have A massive Park that they can play in with them to their hearts content! 

    I too spend birthday money on things like bills but make sure you try and keep a little to yourself and treat yourself with it. 

    It’s a shame about the job. But it sounds like you really didn’t enjoy it before, so maybe a good thing really. Hope you have a lovely day.
  • Baileys_Babe
    Baileys_Babe Posts: 6,267 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    I detest umbrellas I always fear somebody is going to poke my eye out. 
    Fashion on a ration 2025 0/66 coupons spent
    79.5 coupons rolled over 4/75.5 coupons spent - using for secondhand purchases

    One
     income, home educating family 
  • Bluegreen143
    Bluegreen143 Posts: 3,707 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Sounds like my kids @missymoo81!

    Keep doing thinking about what I’m going to do after Bambi is at nursery/school - guess all our SAHM chat the other day stirred it up. It’s not imminent as she’s 20 months now and won’t get her nursery place til 3 then I may defer her school entry as I did Monkey’s (so 5.5 when she starts school).

    If it were up to me I wouldn’t get a job at all but I think poor Red is keen for a boost to our income and hasn’t banked on me not wanting to go back to work. So I think flexible/part time working will be needed. I definitely don’t want to go back to my former career (in communications & employee engagement in a big company) or any kind of corporate role as I really hated it by the end. 

    I also hadn’t really thought about childcare costs but my working friends in a group chat tonight have informed me it will cost £17-21 a day per child for wraparound childcare not to mention having to get the school holidays covered. So I think working full time isn’t actually going to leave us as much better off as Red may be thinking. I earned about £21k in my previous job and I don’t think a 3 year stint of unemployment is going to have increased my earning potential... so we are talking maximum of £1,500 a month before childcare and commuting costs. Once those are taken into account then that’s a huge chunk gone, maybe more than half the salary. So a part time job that’s in school hours, particularly one that was fairly local (so low commuting costs) would actually leave me almost as well off even if it’s a minimum wage job I think. Not to mention spending more through being more tired & stressed, less of the frugal living, maybe more takeaways etc (as I know this was the case when I worked before). 

    An alternative would be registering as a childminder which I have been toying with on and off for a few years. As then the kids could still come back home after school rather than having to pay out for childcare. Though I think if I was working every day childminding I would lose quite a bit of the time I get to save money via gardening, cooking etc so need to factor that all in.

    We’ll see. I need to just let myself mull it all over. I know what my ideal scenario is - stay off work indefinitely, have a third child, live happily ever after 😅 - and i think it’s unlikely that we will be able to afford all this unless Red gets a massive pay rise. But if I put to bed the idea of the third child and look at ways I can supplement our income without giving up too much time at home then that suddenly looks much more affordable. There’s no rush to find a solution. The best thing I can do is keep saving money now and get that little MIL debt paid off. Make the most of the money we have so Red sees that we can manage well on less (which he does know, and we have talked about, but I don’t think he fully gets it like I do).
    Part time working mum | Married in 2014 | DS born 2015 & DD born 2018

    https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6542225/stopping-the-backsliding-a-family-of-four-no-longer-living-beyond-their-means/p1?new=1

    Consumer debt free!
    Mortgage: -£128,033

    Savings: £6,050
    - Emergency fund £1,515
    - New kitchen £556
    - December £420
    - Holiday £3,427
    - Bills £132

    Total joint pension savings: £55,425
  • Bluegreen143
    Bluegreen143 Posts: 3,707 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    On another note. Thought I’d do the YNAB totals for the month. No planned spends til payday except putting petrol in the car which is in the budget. Not going to list all the bills & debt payments again as they were as expected - just the “housekeeping” discretionary expenses.

    Housekeeping 
    Food £302
    Household spends £90
    Petrol £31
    Clothes £33.50
    Fun £22.50

    We did spend a whopping £280 from our Christmas & birthday fund - that’s cos we had a busy August with my birthday, my sister’s 30th, my mum’s birthday, friends birthdays etc. I did pick up a couple of bits to start building up the kids’ christmas stockings too. All budgeted for though and this savings account still has a healthy £431 in it. We do have both kids’ birthdays before Christmas so this won’t be enough but we still have a few months to add to it.

    Also spent £30 from the emergency fund towards Red’s parking ticket. 

    Red is about £30 in his overdraft so has overspent on his budget as predicted. I haven’t transferred him extra to cover it. To avoid fighting I’m trying to introduce a degree of separation where I don’t micro manage his spending. I will try to allocate just a little extra to him next month to cover it and help him make it through the whole month and will monitor it to ensure it doesn’t end up in a pile of debt! But actually I do feel I need to let him manage his own spending money to a bigger degree instead of me just always transferring money between our accounts when he goes overdrawn so he never feels the effects.
    Part time working mum | Married in 2014 | DS born 2015 & DD born 2018

    https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6542225/stopping-the-backsliding-a-family-of-four-no-longer-living-beyond-their-means/p1?new=1

    Consumer debt free!
    Mortgage: -£128,033

    Savings: £6,050
    - Emergency fund £1,515
    - New kitchen £556
    - December £420
    - Holiday £3,427
    - Bills £132

    Total joint pension savings: £55,425
  • Bluegreen143
    Bluegreen143 Posts: 3,707 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    And finally! Re the £302 on food. YAY! I’m going to count that as being on my £300 budget. Big difference from the last few months of spending £4-500! £90 on household needs to come down a bit but is better than it has been. Will make sure I itemise spends next month.
    Part time working mum | Married in 2014 | DS born 2015 & DD born 2018

    https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6542225/stopping-the-backsliding-a-family-of-four-no-longer-living-beyond-their-means/p1?new=1

    Consumer debt free!
    Mortgage: -£128,033

    Savings: £6,050
    - Emergency fund £1,515
    - New kitchen £556
    - December £420
    - Holiday £3,427
    - Bills £132

    Total joint pension savings: £55,425
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