One income family of four - can we get ahead even after pay cuts?

Bluegreen143

Re presents. That’s not just for gifts for the kids. So Christmas = tree, food, wrapping stuff, decorations, £100 each say on the kids, £100 each on each other, stocking fillers, extended family (parents, my grandfather, our siblings as Red has a few, his nephews, our closest friends’ children etc). So that all adds up. Then through the year you have at least £100 on each kid’s birthday, our own birthdays, again extended family through the year. Usually 1-2 weddings a year we need to buy gifts for. Our friends are all just starting families so had a lot of new baby gifts recently. Being honest I don’t believe the £100 a month we budget for this covers it at all. Need to come up with a plan to reduce spends... it doesn’t help both kids are born in December! 

Mumoffourkids

Oh I know about December birthdays, two of my kids are born in December so it’s a very expensive month for me. I also have my dad’s birthday in December. Are you crafty at all? Could you make presents for anyone? I think if you want to get ahead, you need to think outside the box a bit and presents is an easy area to do this. If you bake a lot, could you make jam or chutneys as Christmas presents? Or make things like sloe gin? You have time to get prepared for this Christmas and it’s only an idea. I sew so for the last couple of years everyone has been having sewn presents and they love them. I am also organising a handmade cushion for my son’s teachers at school.

Its good that you grow your own food and have time to home cook, so you should be able to save money there.

Bluegreen143

Great idea @Mumoffourkids. I used to make hampers of homemade jam for relatives before I had kids. I’ve just fallen off the wagon as during the years I’ve been pregnant or with a breastfeeding baby I’ve not had the energy. But this year would be a great year to do that again as I don’t have a baby and they both sleep now! Great reminder. I also think over time the amount we spend on people has crept up. Eg I used to buy something small for my parents but now I’ll spend at least £50 on them, often more. I think I feel guilty as my sister (double income, no kids) spends a lot more. But she can afford it so I shouldn’t compare. Husband usually spends about £100 on his mum at Christmas and birthdays but I think we did actually spend less this year, and she spent less on us as he had a conversation with her. I think we can continue to reign that in but it’s just a tricky one when it’s not my own mum. My husband is good in that he sorts out all the presents for his family, he doesn’t offload it to me, but it means I have less control on the costs. Will have a chat with him as it would be good to start planning now so we have the time to make stuff.

natlie

Hi, 
I am in a similar situation to you, one income, two kids at home but also one at university, my husband is unemployed and I work. Our income is a little higher than yours (our debt is significantly higher) so I wonder is you would be eligible for Universal Credit as we get around £400 a month from them (this includes Child Tax Credits and Working Family tax Credits). 
Looking at your budget there is a lot on non-essential spending, your electricity and gas seems a bit high, and having to pay extra on top of the groceries for cleaning products etc seems a lot. 
Your mobiles are very expensive? we pay £6 a month pay as you go with GiffGaff and its still plenty of data etc how long are you in contract for?
Finally the £100 a month for holiday and the fun, diy etc budgets probably need to go if you want to pay everything off, £600 for a holiday seems non-essential if you can use this to pay back your family borrowing 
I've done a huge review of my budget while in lockdown and I now have spreadsheets and budget pots, its a lot of work but well worth the effort 
Nat 

blue_eyed_girl123

Apologies if someone has already suggested, but I think you can get free audiobooks through your local library and there should be a facility to sign up even in lockdown. Might need a bit of research but hopefully worth it if you save £8 per month and still get the peace and quiet for a bit 😊

blue_eyed_girl123

I just did a quick Google and this is York libraries to give you an idea, but you would just Google whichever council area library you're in 😊 - https://www.exploreyork.org.uk/digital/e-audiobooks/

warby68

Red's spending does look a bit high as a proportion of your total income - from your other comments it looks like he takes the lead in spendiness and you take the lead in trying to be a bit more careful. Might be time to revist the fundamentals especially if he's never adjusted the amount he spends since your income was lower/tighter. Its not easy to admit you're actually on a fairly low income as a family and some stuff just isn't really affordable.
The gift values for everyone seem high too for your circumstances - little ones don't need or actually recognise £100 on a birthday. £50 each instead of all the £100 each you have listed would actually be quite a saving and still far from mean - I reckon £500 a year less minimum. You can always buy stuff they need as well as treats to make a bigger pile for opening.
If that has been your income for a while, you've actually managed really well as a family of 4 including what I see as quite a lot of luxuries (phones, lots of subs, expensive gifts, food preferences etc) and as you say its not really debt its the never having anything behind you or getting rid of the old family debt. It would be tough if you had major car trouble or needed an expensive appliance replacing.
Shave £100 off Red, £100 off food, £50 off gifts and it quickly looks a lot better.
Don't dismiss little bits of extra money either such as selling things and online surveys.

joedenise

We used to spend similar amounts on presents for the kids but over the years this has now been reduced significantly.  We also only buy token presents for adults (about £20) and no more than £30 on each child.  A lot of Christmas food isn't really necessary, at the end of the day it's just a glorified roast dinner plus a pudding!  Also no need to buy a tree and decorations every year.  There's nothing wrong with an artificial tree and certainly more "green" than buying a real one every year and you can use the same decorations year after year - perhaps just buy one new one each year.

Also the hampers of jams & chutneys are a great idea and you can make a start now for Christmas.  Do you sew, knit or crochet?  You can use any of these skills to make presents.  I use 2nd hand material, ie sheets, duvet covers etc from charity shops to make things so makes very cheap things.

I would definitely go back to the cloth nappies - you've already got them so make use of them!  Seems pointless to me to be buying disposables.  They are great for days out or holidays but certainly wouldn't bother with them all the time - they are very expensive.

Bluegreen143

Thank you so much for all the thoughts everyone. This is so useful - I’m so thankful to get outside perspectives as I think you just get stuck in a rut of how you do things.

@warby68 re your comments... well we haven’t managed too badly over the last three years (our income was actually lower until November as DH started a new job then with a slight pay rise). BUT I received a £25k inheritance last year as well. £10k went into our mortgage when we remortgaged and it was long overdue as we brought our monthly payments down from £725 to £425 (we did increase the term and get a much better interest rate plus obviously borrowed £10k less).

£7-8k went paying off debt. Most of it was the rest of MIL’s debt as she had lent us £5k towards our deposit when we bought our house. And we owed £2k on a credit card and £1.5k to my mum (because she had paid off the other credit card for us the year before). So it’s never been like 20-30k of debt, that was the most we’ve ever had, but we haven’t been quite living in our means. We also booked a holiday with that money and put some towards doing work in the garden and a couple of new appliances (ours all came with the house 5 years ago and started to break all at the same time!).

You’re all right about the presents and actually I think most of the time, barring any emergencies, we do OK all year then with Christmas/kids birthdays we get the credit card put in December and put back the progress we made all year 😕 so I think you are all onto something that that has to be a priority area for us. 

Bluegreen143

I’m going to sit down tonight and make a budget and plan for going forward so will be back with that later 🙂

It’s been a great day here. Nice and sunny. Met a friend and her kids for a walk and picnic in a little local community run greenspace and woodland. Kids have played out in the garden the rest of the day and I did a wee bit of phonics and a science experiment with my 4.5yo.

Great news about nursery too. Here in Scotland they go back 11th August but there was talk that as a family with a non working adult we might not be able to get a place for my 4.5yo. Totally understand but it would be a shame given I deferred his school entry for a year so he could get extra time at nursery. They have now confirmed he will at a minimum get a Wednesday 9-3.30, however that’s the contingency plan and if the stats continue looking good he will be able to return to his five mornings as he did before as the schools are now to return full time. I’m in no rush really as I’ve absolutely loved having him home but I do worry about his socialising etc with so long out of a structured environment. Mornings is a nice balance that he still gets the afternoon at home with me - the last year I’ll have that!

Got our veg boxes today (£26) - we get one fruit box (apples, satsumas, bananas, melon, strawberries, blueberries, grapes and nectarines this time), a veg box (carrots, onions, potatoes, beetroot, courgette, aubergine, kale, mushrooms, celery, peppers, cucumber, tomatoes, butternut squash). Some of the veg is add ons we pay extra for so I’m going to reduce the order a bit as we still have a little of last week’s veg left so that will save a little money. Two pears left which I’m steaming and pureeing for the kids’ dessert along with an apple, and two oranges which I’ll juice to make ice lollies. 

I’ve also paused my milkman order for now as it’s actually nearly three times the cost of supermarket milk now I’ve looked at it again. It will be about £4 rather than £10 for our weekly milk! We like supporting them but will go back to it in the future when we are better off.