It's time to begin.....

Kakiste

Yeah they still haven't sent the email so it's obviously coming by letter.

I mean; I'm trying to keep the letter from him because I know that if he opens it and discovers I have £6k in an account then he'll harangue me until I give the money to him or I refuse to hand it over but that would immediately end the marriage and I'll be out on my ear ahead of my plans, whilst /only/ just debt free, so life will be much more of a struggle. However, there are people out there who would be beaten up as a response and I think it's absolutely awful that the bank just aren't listening to what I'm clearly asking them to do.  

warby68

I would go back to the Bank and ask to speak to someone who deals with vulnerable customers as you are completely failing in attempts to have no written correspondence. It should be a little apart form the debt collection side and hopefully more responsive. 

I mainly read along and am really hoping your plans for a different life come together soon.

WinterWarrior

I agree with @warby68. Keep escalating until you speak to a manager who takes it seriously. 

Kakiste

I fully intend to- however I'm not doing it at the moment as given how useless they have been up to now, I imagine I'd also receive the response to the complaint via letter, which just increases my problem. It's additional stress I don't need right now. 

Once I have a new address then I'll be complaining, at length and repeatedly. 

stymied

You have just as much right to live in your home as your husband. If things do come to a head for some reason please do consider that you shouldn’t automatically be the one moving out (assuming you can afford the rent in your current place).

Kakiste

Fair point @stymied but my rent is currently £700 per month- I couldn't afford that on my own, especially with the £200 per month council tax as well. I'd be looking at terrace houses which round here rent at about £530 per month. 

Legs21

Have you tried the benefits check up website to see if you could get tax credits or other benefits if you moved out or kicked him out? Even if you don’t plan on leaving it may help with tolerating your husbands behaviour if you knew you could walk away and not struggle financially.

Kakiste

Thanks @Legs21. At the moment I would be entitled to £194 a month in tax credits (which I keep in mind when figuring stuff out) From September I expect to be earning a significant amount more (I reckon around £40K) once I get my promotion and having projected and researched those earnings, I wouldn't be entitled to anything, which is fair enough on a £40k salary. 

SandyShores

Kakiste said:

...... I couldn't afford that on my own, especially with the £200 per month council tax as well. ...

Not sure if you've accounted for the discount for council tax if you were on your own.  I think its 25%.

Kakiste

Thanks @SandyShores,  I had accounted for it when planning for a new house but forgotten to account for it for if I stayed in my current one. It would bring it down to £150 but coupled with the £700 rent it's still out of budget. But thanks for reminding me. 

Letter didn't come through whilst I was at home yesterday morning so still waiting on that. However I used the time yesterday morning wisely and dug through my filofax of debt related letters nd found all the account numbers for the three remaining DMP accounts as well as the contact details for the collection agencies. So as soon as the letter from HSBC arrives I can pay all the creditors off and then ring Stepchange and tell them that my DMP is done.