It's time to begin.....

Kakiste

Sorry to worry you @Aspiration, i said "I'm not not safe" Terrible phrasing on my part I admit! 
It's entirely limited to sulking, mind games and trying to start arguments. But now i'm wise to all those patterns I can counter them fairly easily and it just leads to a little dark cloud sat on his own in a room somewhere. 

I slept brilliantly! No neck or back pain this morning. He came downstairs and slept on the couch for most of the night as the mattress was just 'so awful, the sofa would be better' But I woke briefly at 4am and noticed that he was back in bed and is still asleep now so it cant be that bad! 

Aspiration

Nothing better than a great sleep🤣

Sarahwithlove

Is the debt a joint debt or yours? Is there a reason his parents are being paid first? I just wonder whether you're gonna be left with your family loan to pay and no help from him? Is there no way you can get away from things now and just pay the debt off slower? Seems a very unhealthy relationship to be in. 

Kakiste

Its a long story but the debt is entirely in my name having been run up by myself when he didnt support me on maturnity leave and the years following and i was left to shoulder a lot of costs that should have been joint entirely on my own. 
i'm paying off in order of priority so it was in fact my uncle that was paid by first, now we're paying his parents off as they're in the process of buying a house, then my dad. 

It is but its worth me staying for the meantime as i have the extra capital to put towards debt. I've got about 18 months of debt repayments left and then i'm completely debt free with almost £1000 a month left. I could leave now and could afford to run a household on my own but we're talking a 2 bed flat in a rough area affordability. In 18 months time i can afford a nice house in a nice area whilst also being able to afford to save. Given he is much less ridiculous than he previously has been its worth sticking it out for now

Kakiste

He's got over himself now and has cooked two separate dinners (a usual sign that he realises he's in the wrong) But obviously he cant just say that so first I had a half hour explanation of why it was in fact myself who was the root cause of everything and he who was the victim of my (ahem) "abuse" I nodded along as ive long since learnt that calling him on any of his !!!!!! in these after argument breakdowns leads to it flaring back up again and a good 3-4 days of him slamming around the house pointedly ignoring me. 
What a !!!!!!. *rolls eyes* 
But still it's resolved for the start of the week and I can go back to reading my book. (Wolf hall) Getting pretty excited now as i'm in the last quarter and I managed to pick up the BBC series for £2 on ebay so that is going to be my next series watch.

greensalad

Wolf Hall is on my list this year! Hope you're enjoying it. I'm working through my challenge pretty well, I'm on Book 8 of the year!

I really hope you can get out soon, I know what you mean about waiting 18 months to have the better life! Here's to wishing you a £1 million premium bond win.

Kakiste

That would be amazing! All problems instantly solved.
Wolf Hall took a while to get into because it jumps randomly back and forward and you have to remember where you are in history and what everyone's position is with each other but it's pretty compelling. The best book i've read this year is hands down 'A Deadly Education' by Naomi Novik- as someone who loved the harry potter books as a teenager- this is basically a grown up version. Very good. 

Sarahwithlove

Then it's understandable why you are trying to stick it out for as long as possible. Fingers crossed you get a win and can do it quicker! 

Kakiste

Just updated my meter readings for utilities and thanks to the adjusted direct debit last month I'm currently £65 in credit which is great. So given I won't be needing the heating on in about 8 weeks I should be able to build up a sizeable buffer across the winter. Last year we didn't turn the heating on until November 1st and it was incredibly baltic towards the end so it will be nice to be more lenient this year. 

Sarahwithlove

We're using more than ever at the moment and my DD has just jumped again. 2nd time in 6 months as we're both working from home now.