Out of work for 15 years desperate for advice

ozziex99

Why do you feel ashamed? There's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of

Brynsam

Leo1985 said:

Simple tasks to most people are extremely difficult for me, for example just talking on the phone raises my anxiety and it can take me 30+ minutes just to prepare to make a call, the worst part about this is I KNOW how ridiculous that is and i know how stupid that sounds the only thing i don't know is why i have these feelings about it. 

No, it's not ridiculous. It's far more common than you think - and getting in touch with one of the metal health charities, self help groups or similar (once you've plucked up courage to do so, which I hope you will) will make you realise that you are nothing like along in your fears. 

I wish you well - but do give the fruit picking option a go if that's feasible in terms of geography.

questricky8

I was out of work for many years too. You can get in to a rut. I thought the best thing for me to do was doing some voluntary work or do some training qualifications like redoing my GCSE. I did anything to keep myself proactive and improve my CV. Any prospective employer will see that and it can only improve your chances of getting back to work.

ArchibaldE

I feel for you, I know somebody who went through a similar situation and ended up setting up a successful business on etsy making and selling jewelry, could you start with something like that? 

Luciecat63

I agree with Snow_Phoenix - the Richmond Fellowship is very good at helping people who have mental health issues get back into the workplace. They often have contacts in different companies, but also offer one-to-one support. Just to say, I have had depression for much of my working life, and have had several jobs (one for over 20 years). Getting and keeping a job is achievable provided the support is there for you. A couple of years ago I wanted a change of job; I mentioned my depression at the interview. Both the HR director and my new manager had also had similar problems. I later found out that two of my new work colleagues had anxiety/depression. It's very common and people are thankfully feeling more comfortable admitting it. 

connors07

Firstly I'd like to start with well done on taking this approach. I can imagine pouring out on here isn't easy and you have. You sound self-motivated to me to turn things around which is likely one the harder steps. So well done. 
Please do not run yourself down, be your best friend and biggest fan. Nothing you'd said sounds ridiculous and your feelings are normal and do not be ashamed. I've seen some good suggestions in the other replies so wish you well. Given the current climate of what is going on in the world it'll be tricky but not insurmountable. 

I see you mentioned about anxiety on the phone. I definitely had this for years but practice helps and builds your confidence. I know its a little different by I often hear on the radio about older people have phone lines where they can receive a phone call as they don't have anyone or many people in their lives. Hopefully that would give you two boosts, phone confidence of speaking to a stranger and you'd be helping someone else; the latter is incredibly good for your well being and empowering. Wishing you well!

pickledonionspaceraider

silverwhistle said:

They're crying out for fruit and vegetable pickers at the moment. Hard  physical work but fresh air and you could talk to the plants for all the farmers care. They aren't going to be checking the qualifications on your CV.  Obviously availability of the work depends where you are, but the only time I've done such work one summer I felt well on it and slept even better! 

They might be crying out, but they don't seem to want to hire anyone unless they agree to sleep in a crummy caravan with a group of strangers, no social distancing, and tip up some of your wage to stay there
I get sick of seeing this bandied about - apply yourself and see its true in many cases

pickledonionspaceraider

Leo1985 said:

I am 35 years old and i have been out of work for 15 years due mental health after an extremely traumatic event in my life where i developed paranoid schizophrenia which i managed to overcome but i was left with severe social anxiety i also have physical disability on top of that. Prior to that i only had 2 other jobs and no qualifications, i worked at an airport as an aircraft valeter and also in a fast food restaurant. I have no references and nothing to put on a CV, I suffer from social anxiety and while i still struggle with this it has improved over the past couple of years and i feel like i am ready to attempt trying to go back to work.

The problem is now my anxiety is up because i don't know where to start, I don't have any thing to put on a CV and i feel uncomfortable embarrassed and ashamed of my past. Simple tasks to most people are extremely difficult for me, for example just talking on the phone raises my anxiety and it can take me 30+ minutes just to prepare to make a call, the worst part about this is I KNOW how ridiculous that is and i know how stupid that sounds the only thing i don't know is why i have these feelings about it. I don't have any friends and i find it difficult going to new places and meeting and speaking to new people, i have a very low self esteem and self worth.
I don't want to continue to ramble on too much and i am not even sure what i am expecting by posting here, i guess i'm really just looking for any kind of advice or help or even better anybody that has overcome mental health problems and sucsessfully returned to work after a long time.

I think you may be surprised that folk talk more openly about MH issues.  I know someone who was in a similar boat to you, walked into the interview and was completely and utterly open - got the job, and now earns far more than me.  Their manager makes regular checks on them makes sure they are OK

So my point is that the right job is out there somewhere, the right job with the right management who have the mindset to go the extra mile for their staff.

My advice would be think carefully about what you want to do
 - there are lots of options open to you - you could start volunteering to build up confidence , you could study, you could do part time hours

I think you need to find something you can cope with

None of what you say sounds embarrassing or ridiculous, trust me

Self worth will improve with going out and working / studying / volunteering

One important thing, find out how it affects benefits - as the last think you need is money worries xx

Luciecat63

Connors07 has a good suggestion - there are many volunteer phone lines where you can speak to lonely people. There is no pressure to make a sale to anything like that and the people on the other end will welcome your call even if you are nervous. I call a couple of lonely neighbours - I have little small talk, but they tend to want to talk more than listen, so it's not a struggle. Have a look on your community facebook pages, and use it as free training. Age UK may also know of some volunteer schemes. Looks good on a CV too.