Will life not go back to pre-covid 19? Is o/s the new way forward?

suki1964

dolly84 said:

sheilavw said:

its been lovely seeing families out walking and enjoying the local countryside. Quite often now kids only do stuff that costs, cinemas, play areas, shopping centres with meals out etc. These are the norm for many, not a treat. It would be lovely to see them continue to enjoy simple things like picnics and walks

I agree with this.

suki1964 - I wonder if you will enjoy the supermarket queues quite so much in the freezing pouring rain and driving winds of winter.  It's not good to have an 'I'm alright Jack' attitude, many people on here will still be seeing their pensions drop into their accounts every month and know that that will continue uninterrupted, but imagine you are a couple both working in the travel or leisure industry, you both work full time have school age children an £800+ a month mortgage etc, how do you think you would feel right now?   They don't have the luxury of previous generations of easily going from one job to another, retiring younger, excellent private pension schemes, incredible increases in property values.  Every generation has something that comes along and challenges them but the older generation seem to think imo that they are the only ones who have had and continue to have all the hardships.

Excuse me????

Where did that come out of??

Where I work we supply the hospitality industry, we supplied practically every chippy, pub, hotel and restaurant along the North West coast, right down into Belfast and Bangor. Ive had my hours cut, we all have, even though we still have some work because we quickly changed over to doing doorstep deliveries to the public. We are keeping going just, and we have to keep going else when the hospitality trade reopens, if we cant supply, we go under. We have worked through out, in close quarter to each other and not one bit of PPE between us

My husband also works for the hospitality and leisure retail sector. Most of his work is Weddings, he has had no work since the second week of March. We are surviving on my earnings of £202 a week until he gets his self employed grant next month which will net him just £800 a month for the three months 

Our son in law has lost his job due to Covid  my daughter had Covid and was off work for 3 weeks so we are also having to support them and the grandchildren

We don't have any pensions, we are both still well under pension age and the only pension we have coming to us will be the state pension

Please do not assume Im sitting here having it easy, believe you me Im not

But I am sitting here right now ( just in the door from work where I was at 7am ) thinking life is not too bad and saying that for myself I am seeing a lot of good things through these bad times

Oh and living in Northern Ireland, where our lockdown isn't being lifted at all for another three weeks, Im quite used to standing in the rain, I queued in it yesterday. Not like I have a snazzy hair cut to be worried about at the moment is it? 

[Deleted User]

I don't for a second think that ANY of us are sitting smugly at home thinking 'I'm alright Jack shame about the rest' this is the hardest thing we've ever had to face and deal with in the whole of our lives so far, it's harder because there is seemingly no end to it in sight and currently no treatment and no way to stop us from catching it EXCEPT being sensible and actually staying out of each others way and biding by the government recommendations to stay indoors if you can and keep at a distance if you're out. But still there is complaining and arguing and people being prickly and misinterpreting other folks posts and posting spite and derision in all areas of MSE! No one actually LIKES being isolated but it's the best we can do until the situation changes, we all need to support other posters and realise they are in the same dark place as many of us rather than trying to score points and grab the moral high ground.

This is a horrible thing to have happened but happen it has and we HAVE to deal with it, the best way of dealing with it is to realise that it's not just you who is in lock down and having a rotten time of it, it's all of us but some people are coping with it slightly better than others because we are all different and respond differently to lifes problems.

suki1964

MoneySeeker1 said:

Dolly - I get what you're saying - and do sympathise.

I'm in the position, thankfully, that my income is pension just coming into my bank account each month and my home is my own (no mortgage). So one of my first thoughts trying to cheer myself up about Lockdown each day is "At least thankfully my home and income are safe". 

But I would be worried sick if one or both of my income and home were suffering problems because of Lockdown. I confess I wouldn't know which way to turn if I was both being shut out of darn nearly everything because of Lockdown and had income problems and, obviously, the income problems would be by far the biggest concern I'd have out of loss of freedom and loss of income.

I do think it's insensitive for those who aren't too bothered about Lockdown and maybe even making comments about "enjoying" aspects of it to do so when there are millions of people worried sick about their income and some also being under threat of losing their homes because of it. 

I've never been in a "comfortable" position income-wise yet (always both low-paid and single) - but there have definitely been periods of greater discomfort and having to fight hard to get a job or manage to hang onto a job I already had - so I get it.

Well I am so sorry I didn't cry on here about how tough things are for us , because believe me they are. Mr S may not have a job to go back to and as we are going to be hitting a recession hard and fast, at the age of 58 hes going to find it tough having to go back on the trowel and 12 hour days travelling down to Belfast to work on a site earning a pittance but if that's what he has to do he will do it

Why is it wrong to say that my daily life isn't affected? I still go out to work, I come home, I do the housework, I cook the dinner, I sit in the garden if its a nice evening and have a drink whilst I crochet, else I stick the tv on and slump in front of it, same as I did before Covid - well not the crochet, thats something Ive taken up during covid to do my bit

We didn't have a mad social life and we don't have money to spend so we didn't use shopping as a leisure activity, so apart from not being allowed to go to the beach get a chippy tea, and not having the grandchildren and children come up and stay, my  daily life hasn't changed

And why is it wrong to say Im enjoying seeing how we as a nation have come together?

[Deleted User]

Not wrong in any way Suki, you're doing what most of us are and making the best of it that you can with what you have available.  There's nothing wrong with that or actually feeling that it's not as bad as we thought it would be because that's how we feel too.  I wish it wasn't happening but wishing gets me absolutely nowhere.  To sit and feel full of self pity because life isn't how we WANT it to be is as futile and unproductive as wishing!  If you are feeling that life is OK at the moment that's something to be thankful for because it means you've accepted the limitations and restrictions that rule life at the moment and overcome that self pitying state and walked back out into level balance in life again.  Something to be congratulated for not criticised.

elsien

I had a very enjoyable weekend, thank you for asking. 
I took my dog for a long walk, watched a swan and her newly hatched cygnets,  pottered in the garden, took part in a socially distanced VE day tea sitting on parent's drive. 6 feet apart, of course. One of the more relaxing weekends I've had in a long time, in part because there was no pressure to be out doing interesting things.
I am very worried about the impact on parent who is now too scared to leave the house; on my brother whose business may well go under if things don't change soon, and on my nephews whose A levels and subsequent university admission has been impacted by the lockdown. 
And at least two people I work with have died from Covid complications.
However I don't see why that means we should go round beating our breasts and pretending that everything is doom and gloom, and there aren't some good moments that come out of this at times. If that's insensitive so be it. I prefer to find the positives where I can because otherwise we'd all be struggling more with our mental health than we are. 

suki1964

Thankyou @MrsLurcherwalker and @elsien

Life is pretty carp but there are so many positives still to be found and sod it, Im finding them

Spent too many years in a therapist chair to give up on life right now. I cant change what's happening around me, I can only change how I react. And I want to get up in the mornings feeling positive and get through my day as best as I can without curling up in a corner and giving up

Foofoopuppy

@suki1964 I also didn't read your comment as 'I'm alright, screw everyone else'. I think it is important to acknowledge the positives, even while you accept and complain about the negatives. 
There were an awful lot of negatives happening before coronavirus as well, so if I can take any positives forward then it helps offset the negative effects a little. That is how I feel, and I will continue to look for positives.

helensbiggestfan

Suki - I definitely didn't  read your post as "I'm all right Jack". Far from it.  Being able to see the silver lining behind the dark clouds is a very valuable character trait, one that will get us through the worst that life can throw at us.  The ability to focus on positives rather than wallowing in self pity and seeing only negatives is what determines our ability to cope with difficult stressful situations.  

No one gets to live a completely charmed life, we all have to dodge the curved balls that get thrown at us. How we respond is everything.  We can lie down and give up or we can get back up and keep fighting back.  It is the ability to stay focussed and keep going that matters most.  Suki.....you will survive and ultimately thrive because you have courage and true grit.  You and your partner are grafters, you are made of the "right stuff", you don't whinge  and whine, you roll up your sleeves and get stuck in.  Your hard work and resilience will pay dividends, of that I'm certain. 

I too can see a lot of positives that have come about as side effects of lockdown.  Quite apart from all the ones that have already been listed I think a lot of people have been using this time to rethink their values, asking themselves meaningful  questions about what they really want from life, what is actually really important......(and its not haircuts!!!!!). 

I think a lot of people are going to "reset" after this.  So many people have said they have been thinking about their lives prior to the virus and have come to realise how unsustainable and unfulfilling their lives really were, how stressed and unhappy. 

I think a lot of people are going to learn from this and there will be new ways of thinking, living and working with new developments in the use of technology to allow more people the opportunity to work from home more often, reducing the need for external child care, less commuting,  a reduction of traffic congestion, less pollution and cleaner air.  There will be scientific breakthroughs, if not a vaccine then new anti virals, not just for Covid 19 but for other viruses.  The scientific community are pooling their knowledge and working together, instead of countries working separately.  Global co-operation has to be a plus.  I'm hoping that having learned to appreciate local businesses, there will be less reliance on the big global corporations and that more people will support their local shops, tradespeople and communities. Who knows, maybe fewer imports and a rebuilding of our manufacturing base. 

On a personal level I am using this time productively, not only to plan my future but also to get cracking with several diy projects. I have nearly finishing revamping my kitchen, repairing and painting the cabinets instead of splashing out on a new kitchen. It's been hard work but it has kept me occupied and cheerful and I have saved myself a shedload of money.....😉. 

ejmo

The problem is, whilst this effects everybody, it effects some much more than others.
I do see some positives but if you couldn't pay your rent and didn't know when you could start earning again to pay off the rent arrears staying positive is hard. Then feeling that you're not taking the positives from this situation, or even that it is some how good for you, effects peoples mental health.

I think some comments on this thread are just saying it's not the same for everyone, where is the empathy for people experiencing true hardship?

 No some people will not be baking, growing, pickling or having daily bike rides/walks because their focus will be on earning money as a means to survival not to have what they want when they want it as has been suggested. 

MoneySeeker1

Indeed - and even for those still working age and still with a job to go back to - there is an article in today's online Guardian newspaper that puts it so much better than I could. It's about saying those in "professional" jobs are just so much better able to work from home - because of the nature of their jobs/because of the better homes they can afford. But those in traditional "working class" jobs just don't have that option - as there's certainly no way a busdriver, taxi driver, refuse collector, etc could possibly work from home. There's also a world of difference in WFH from a tower block flat or with only one room to call your own in a shared house.