To process my father's will does my mum need to post copies of all financial documents to executor?

Autumn868

I will try to keep this as short as possible-

My father passed away 3 weeks ago, and we are now trying to get the will processed.
I have seen a copy of the will, which leaves £325,000 to be split equally between myself and my 2 siblings (so £108,000 cash each), with the rest of the estate (approx £2million to be left to my mum).
My mum is elderly, and not at all technology-adept though, and so she unfortunately is resistant to use Google to findout what the process now is of processing the will.

The executor is an old family friend (from 25+ years ago, when the will was written), but he has been notified, and accepted the role of being executor.
In my mum's view however his only role was to 'grant the go-ahead' for the cremation of my father's body to be done (so stating there was no 'foul-play' in the death).
She thinks that his role as executor is now completed though, and that it's my father's employer & the banks who will ''process the will and send payments to her''.

I have tried to explain to her that she needs to put all of my dad's bank statements / stocks & shares statements / private pension statements / property deeds / life-insurance policies / and everything else into an envelope, and post it to the executor....
But she disagrees with that | Primarily as she is an extremely private person when it comes to our family's personal finances and so would never accept that she needs to post all our private financial documents to someone who was merely a family-friend from the past.

But so can I 1stly check & confirm that I am correct, and that she does need to put all of those things in the post?
Or is there another way in which things will/are being processed, which don't require the executor to be given copies of all financial statements.


Thankyou

Keep_pedalling

If I was the appointed executor, I would immediately renounce my powers if I could not easily get access the all the financial, and it sounds as if he is going to have an impossible task.

Apart from obtaining a full account of all the assets, he is going to have to establish if any potentially exempt gifts have been given in the last 7 years, because if they have then there is going to be IHT to pay as the will gives away all of his NRB. 

In your shoes I would speak to him, put him in the pictures as to your mother’s attitude and see if he is willing to renounce so that you and your siblings can apply for letters of administration.  

Dox

Bad idea to put all the originals in the post, especially at present. I'd send photocopies and confirm to the executor that you will provide originals of anything where he wishes to see the original.

The executor is the one who will be applying for the grant of probate, which includes filling in various forms relating to IHT. There won't actually be any payable, given the way the will has been drafted, but he still needs to be able to assess the value of the estate. Perhaps your best starting point is to have a chat with him, explain the issue, and ask him what he requires.

I have a lot of sympathy for your mother's standpoint, which is very common, especially with people in her age bracket - but at some point you may need to gently point out that her husband was the one who chose the executor, so clearly this is someone whom he trusted.

xylophone

The friend has been named as executor and if he is unwilling to renounce, then he must be provided with all the information necessary to enable him to deal with your father's estate.

It should not be necessary to provide the originals of deeds/share certs etc to enable him to obtain probate - what he needs  initially is the information required to complete the forms.

You can check out the forms here https://www.gov.uk/government/collections/inheritance-tax-forms

Autumn868

Thankyou for your comments.

In regards to the guy who is the named executor, I personally don't know him, as he was a friend of my parents in the 1980s/90s (so before I was born/when I was a baby) | And so it would look extremely strange if I contacted him directly via facebook,
and like I was trying to go behind my mother's back.

I tried to speak to my mum about this situation earlier today, but she simply said that:
''He is an intelligent intelectual man, and so he will do his own research into what he needs to do as executor, and he will contact us if he needs any documents... But he hasn't asked for anything''.

Ultimately there is no 'maliciousness' from either her or from the executor, rather is simply that they come from previous generations where people's personal business & finances were deeply private,
and so they seem to quite simply be viewing it as ''maintaing the status quo harms no-one''.
(As the houses are in joint-names of both my parents, and my mum lives in the main home so experiences no change in her living situation / my father's workplace pension has been processed by his employer and apparently been sent to her bank account / and other things such as all his bank accounts & share-holdings are simply being left as they are it seems).

I don't want to come across as money-grabbing or greedy, But ultimately know that these things do need to be processed.
Or else all of my dad's money will endup just getting left in old forgotten bank accounts and private investment funds, and then be lost forever to them.

My mum doesn't see things like that though, she thinks that it will all sort itself out automatically/that someone is sorting it out,
and that the role of 'executor' is simply a ceremonial paper-title, with their only role being to approve for the cremation, but now that he's done that his role as executor is completed.

I even emailed my mum (plus printed paper copies for her) of the info from the government's Money Advice Service about what to do after someone dies/info of what the processes are and what things the exector needs to do,
however she just disregards it, and thinks that things will sort themselves out in time.

sheramber

Send the executor a copy of the will and let him take it from there
 He would then have to ask for details of bank accounts etc which , it seems, is what your mother wants to happen.

Keep_pedalling

Autumn868 said:

Thankyou for your comments.

In regards to the guy who is the named executor, I personally don't know him, as he was a friend of my parents in the 1980s/90s (so before I was born/when I was a baby) | And so it would look extremely strange if I contacted him directly via facebook,
and like I was trying to go behind my mother's back.

I tried to speak to my mum about this situation earlier today, but she simply said that:
''He is an intelligent intelectual man, and so he will do his own research into what he needs to do as executor, and he will contact us if he needs any documents... But he hasn't asked for anything''.

Ultimately there is no 'maliciousness' from either her or from the executor, rather is simply that they come from previous generations where people's personal business & finances were deeply private,
and so they seem to quite simply be viewing it as ''maintaing the status quo harms no-one''.
(As the houses are in joint-names of both my parents, and my mum lives in the main home so experiences no change in her living situation / my father's workplace pension has been processed by his employer and apparently been sent to her bank account / and other things such as all his bank accounts & share-holdings are simply being left as they are it seems).

I don't want to come across as money-grabbing or greedy, But ultimately know that these things do need to be processed.
Or else all of my dad's money will endup just getting left in old forgotten bank accounts and private investment funds, and then be lost forever to them.

My mum doesn't see things like that though, she thinks that it will all sort itself out automatically/that someone is sorting it out,
and that the role of 'executor' is simply a ceremonial paper-title, with their only role being to approve for the cremation, but now that he's done that his role as executor is completed.

I even emailed my mum (plus printed paper copies for her) of the info from the government's Money Advice Service about what to do after someone dies/info of what the processes are and what things the exector needs to do,
however she just disregards it, and thinks that things will sort themselves out in time.

Don’t worry you don’t come over as being greedy, in your situation I would  be concerned that  if the executor has the same sort of attitude to winding up the estate as you mother, it may not be done correctly leaving you with a horrible mess to sort out after her death.

If your mother’s will is as old as his she really should make a new one with new more appropriate executors.

elsien

I tried to speak to my mum about this situation earlier today, but she simply said that:
''He is an intelligent intelectual man, and so he will do his own research into what he needs to do as executor, and he will contact us if he needs any documents... But he hasn't asked for anything''.

Given that your dad only passed three weeks ago that doesn't seem to be an entirely unreasonable point of view.  People have different ways of coping with grief - some throw themselves into sorting things out and others need time to process. It seems as if you and your mum are at different ends of the spectrum and maybe you need to give it a bit more time before hitting the panic button. 
Mum hasn't said she won't share the relevant information at all,  just that she doesn't want to get it all instantly stuck in the post. 

Robert_McGeddon

OP, I echo what others have said. You are in a tricky situation and posting on this forum is a good first step.

To make things more complicated, I think you should consider the IHT implications on your mother's behalf. An estate of £2.3M (maybe more if your Mum has personal assets) will likely attract a high level of IHT when she passes. Probably in excess of £500K. Reconsidering her will is important as is considering a Deed of Variation on your Father's estate and possibly gifting monies over the coming years. Probably other things too.

Would she take advice from a solicitor (preferably STEPS)? Perhaps she would consult one regarding her will and the other aspects could be discussed too.

xylophone

With regard to the joint ownership of the family home, (assume you mean that they own it as joint tenants), your mother simply becomes sole proprietor.
The LR can be advised.
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/deceased-joint-proprietor-djp
The same would apply to other properties owned as joint tenants.

With regard to joint bank accounts, your mother becomes sole account holder - the bank should be advised  ( speak to bereavement team) and her name will be removed from the account.

With regard to your father's (presumably occupational) pension, the administrator has been advised and has acted appropriately.

You have stated that the exor has been advised of your father's death and has accepted the role - be aware that if he has taken any action towards administering the estate he must continue with it (although see below).

I don't understand why you should speak to the exor through Facebook - if he has been contacted then you know his address and telephone number?

https://sasdaniels.co.uk/blog/2017/02/27/i-know-i-intermeddled-executor-i-can-still-renounce-role/

Who has the original of the will?

You need to advise your mother that she cannot legally  access any account  (whether cash/shares etc ) in your father's sole name.

Only the exor of his estate will be able to release the bequests from his account.

If the exor will not act or cannot act then ultimately you may need to obtain a court order.

Very recently somebody I know had had to do this where the executor had accepted responsibility for administration but a couple of years after the death had failed to complete it.

xylophone

Very recently somebody I know had had to do this where the executor had accepted responsibility for administration but a couple of years after the death had failed to complete it.

Made even more tricky because the deceased had himself been exor of an estate ( from many, many years before his own death) but had left that exor account open......).

I cannot too strongly urge you to contact the executor and clarify matters because the case to which I refer above has caused immense dissension and even impacted upon the administration of another estate not directly connected with either of the other two.