Elderly parents won't stop making unnecessary trips to the supermarket!!!

poppy12345

I don't understand why you went back to stay there in the first place as you're used to living alone now...

bradders1983

poppy12345 said:

I don't understand why you went back to stay there in the first place as you're used to living alone now...

I dont either. If the OP isnt actually going out doing the shopping for them whats the point?

[Deleted User]

poppy12345 said:

I don't understand why you went back to stay there in the first place as you're used to living alone now...

It's for my brother's sake as much as anything.   As I said he works in intensive care, is really at the coal-face, and he said he would feel relieved knowing that our parents weren't on their own.  He also painted an apocalyptic vision of what would happen in London.   That was on March 15th.    Also I've got chronic/severe anxiety, so we all felt it would be good for me to be back here.  Though I guess now I'm getting itchy feet and wishing I was back in my own flat.  

I think also there's a bit of a tipping-point when parents are getting older but they are not actually infirm yet.   They might not want their children telling them to do!  Especially when they have long-established habits.

bradders1983

Given the apocalypse hasnt happened in London, safe to say he was probably overreacting  😂

gettingtheresometime

I know my mum is going stir crazy simply by not being able to go out & do her own shopping.

Perhaps a solution would be to kindly suggest that it's time to do an inventory of the food they have so that meals can be planned/don't go out of date - it's easy to say they've got lots but very often people, me included, forget what we've got.

Why doesn't your brother have a word with them? Surely if he was able to persuade you to move back, he can persuade them of the benefits of not visiting the supermarket on a near daily basis?

onwards&upwards

Poster_586329 said:

I think the ultimatum's worked because my Mum's just said they'll stay out of supermarkets.  Hopefully they'll stick to it!

The two other ideas I'd had were, firstly, to get my brother on board.   They would respect the message a lot more if it was coming from him.

Secondly, that I need to do more to take control of the food shopping.  Order from lots of different sites, because they might not fully realize the variety of what you can get out there.   They have never had the habit of online food shopping.

And, finally, to get hold of some masks, so that we do have some protection in the house in case one of us gets it.   

Please don’t, leave the masks for healthcare workers who really need them.  You are highly unlikely to get ill if you’re all staying in now, and if you do you can isolate within the house and follow strict hygiene measures, no mask needed.

[Deleted User]

onwards&upwards said:

Poster_586329 said:

I think the ultimatum's worked because my Mum's just said they'll stay out of supermarkets.  Hopefully they'll stick to it!

The two other ideas I'd had were, firstly, to get my brother on board.   They would respect the message a lot more if it was coming from him.

Secondly, that I need to do more to take control of the food shopping.  Order from lots of different sites, because they might not fully realize the variety of what you can get out there.   They have never had the habit of online food shopping.

And, finally, to get hold of some masks, so that we do have some protection in the house in case one of us gets it.   

Please don’t, leave the masks for healthcare workers who really need them.  You are highly unlikely to get ill if you’re all staying in now, and if you do you can isolate within the house and follow strict hygiene measures, no mask needed.

I take your point about not taking masks away from people who need them a lot more than I do!

Though I was going to order from AliExpress, the site known as "the Chinese eBay", and I doubt that the NHS are competing for the same masks.

Also this is the article I read about how in Italy, families are wiping themselves out by passing the virus to each other:

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/24/world/europe/italy-coronavirus-home-isolation.html

Like I said I'm very anxious at the best of times so probably I'm over-cautious about the actual risk of a trip to the supermarket right now.  But it seems a time of "Better safe than sorry!"

hb2

I think some elderly people believe that there are things worse than death. Maybe, for the OP's parents, they have made the decision that they would rather not be cooped up together in their own home. Who knows, they might also be going out to get a break from OP (I'm not trying to be nasty, just saying that sharing a house with another adult, even your own offspring, can be very difficult)! 

OP, given your high anxiety, maybe going back to your own home would give you more peace of mind.

[Deleted User]

gettingtheresometime said:

I know my mum is going stir crazy simply by not being able to go out & do her own shopping.

Perhaps a solution would be to kindly suggest that it's time to do an inventory of the food they have so that meals can be planned/don't go out of date - it's easy to say they've got lots but very often people, me included, forget what we've got.

Why doesn't your brother have a word with them? Surely if he was able to persuade you to move back, he can persuade them of the benefits of not visiting the supermarket on a near daily basis?

Yes, my Mum just said she likes being able to be spontaneous, going to the supermarket on a whim and browsing, and coming back with something she hadn't thought of.  

I told her "You know who else likes being spontaneous?"

"The coronavirus!!!"

[Deleted User]

hb2 said:

I think some elderly people believe that there are things worse than death. Maybe, for the OP's parents, they have made the decision that they would rather not be cooped up together in their own home. Who knows, they might also be going out to get a break from OP (I'm not trying to be nasty, just saying that sharing a house with another adult, even your own offspring, can be very difficult)! 

OP, given your high anxiety, maybe going back to your own home would give you more peace of mind.

Hah, yes, I think there is a bit of that.   But then they can go out for a drive, then walk around some rural place.   That's totally allowed under the rules and it wouldn't involve them being indoors with anyone from outside our household.

I'll see what the government say in May about partially lifting the lockdown.  I was planning to go back to my flat in London in early June in any case.