Dear debt, it’s not you, it’s me...

[Deleted User]

@FootyFanDan You sound like you’ve had it rough but at least you’re over the bumpy ground & on your way back up. I’ve always managed to pay my debts (well if not me then my DH ) so I’ve not had the threat of court action or anything. I’ve still had sleepless nights worrying how to let my DH know how utterly stupid I had been though. TBH I’m lucky he’s still with me but he’s never been mad or anything, just calmly works out a plan & gets the debt sorted. I think he realises it’s an addiction & although I’ve been reckless with money there are a lot worse things I could be doing. I have a lot of friends who have all run up debts whether large or small. It’s such a common issue & sad really to think of how many people all have money worries & aren’t able to manage their finances. 

FootyFanDan

I got my act together once my daughter was born, I've never considered my debt situation as rough really more of my own doing than anything. However once my girl came along a lot of my life goals and focuses changed, I realised I could not keep burying my head, sleepless nights, anxiety and stress of living month to month was crippling. I still feel like its not wrong to want nice things however its now in line with a proper budget, not missing priority debts and with a end goal of home ownership but that's a long way away haha

Its really positive that your DH has supported you through this as that can also be another cause of stress/friction and I agree there is defo worse situations to be in. It all seems like chaos to begin with but once you get a plan in place and know the path you are going down it becomes a little less stressful. I think some people with debt see it has normal, spending on credit cards to survive has become the norm for some, I know ppl on way more debt than myself who literally don't worry about it or how they will pay it back 

[Deleted User]

It’s so lovely you now have something (or someone!) to have a focus on & to help bring you out of the debt cycle. Having my DD was actually the start of my debts creeping up as having a newborn & being on mat pay was difficult when you have an excuse to buy things (kids need stuff right?!) & you try to maintain the lifestyle you had before your wages dropped. It’s really good your mindset changed through having your DD as having a newborn is hard enough without having the extra pressure of being in debt. I do think paying on CC has become the norm sadly. Hopefully though we can educate our kids not to make the same financial mistakes as us. 

I’m lucky my DH has supported me through this but he’s said himself it’s only money at the end of the day. I don’t feel stressed with my debt either. I’ve been in much worse debt & felt the stress then but now my mindset is very different to back then. It’s been a learning curve & I feel good having a goal to be debt free. I wish you luck with house buying. It certainly can happen for you so keep that goal in mind. Just think how far you will have come once you have that shiny set of door keys in your hand 

[Deleted User]

These past few days have really made me look at what I spend my money on & what I need to change to meet my goal of being debt free. I’ve never really learnt the skill of reining myself in when using CC’s as it’s never really felt like cash to me. I definitely value paper money a lot more than those bits of plastic so I know my future life can’t include me owning a CC or else I’m likely to run up more debt. I’m sticking to the mantra of ‘if you do the same things over & over again, then you’ll get the same results’, so for me to change completely then I have to get used to a life with no CC’s tempting me.

I’m kind of enjoying this new way of thinking (I know it’s early days) & last night I went over my finances again & found I’ve been paying a lot of interest on a store card so I’ve just swopped to a new 0% card. I know I should have tackled this a lot sooner but it’s better late than never & at least my balance on this card should reduce a lot quicker. I’ve also got another CC on a high interest rate but will let my credit score settle a little before applying for another 0%. No doubt this isn’t going to be an easy ride but I know the future is much brighter if I stick to this path.