Help!! I am 30k in debt and in desperate need of help

monetxchange

All great advice on here. Try and keep your chin up over the coming days. There's definitely solutions as outlined above and it's not all doom and gloom in the future. You can definitely do this with a few changes.

A little thing to think about is how your life will be in the next few years. Realistically, your son isn't going to live with you forever, so you will need to think about how you'll manage when he's moved out. You won't need a two bed then. Could you maybe have a think about ways of managing loneliness going forward - joining a local group for example? I get it as I too live alone and it does get you down sometimes.

But don't feel you can't ask your son to contribute properly at risk of him moving out. I'm sure his girlfriend's parents won't stand for them living for free forever either! Will benefit them both going forward knowing what to expect by paying the market rate now. I'm sure he cares about your feelings more than just up and leaving.

theoretica

What size property do you have at the moment?  When your son moves out would your contract let you take in lodgers for any spare rooms - at market rate.

sourcrates

Hi,

The big plus point here is, you are a renter, you do not own a property, so basically all debt solution options are open to you.
Now the trick is to whittle those options down and find the most suitable one for you.

We will start with the top dog :

(1) Bankruptcy, 21k in debt, £1900 monthly income, £680 Bankruptcy fee, discharged after one year, removed from your file after a further 5 years, you would likely get an IPA (income payment agreement) of around £200-£300 per month for up to 3 years.
Renting may be difficult, but not impossible, i would say its an option for you, but not at the top of the list.

(2) IVA (Individual Voluntary Arrangement) Hmmm, not really enough debt to consider this as a viable option, so put on the back burner for now.

(3) DRO (Debt Relief Order) too much disposable income to consider this as a viable option, also your debt, just, exceeds the threshold, so this can be ruled out.

(4) Debt Management Plan, DMP, this is your most likely route to debt freedom, shortly the Government is to introduce regulated debt management plans, which give you legal protection, and has the benefit of a compulsory interest freeze, no date for its introduction has yet been made public, until then, we have the old version, one of the free to use debt charities will set up an unregulated DMP for you.

Basically you repay your debts at a rate you can afford, you ask creditors to stop charging interest, which for the most part they do, you can get more information from the debt charities websites in my signature, they are easy and quick to set up, and acceptance is normally 90% plus.

Its a simple process which they will arrange for you, you just provide details of your debts and to whom you owe the money, they do the rest for you, that would be my chosen option from the list here.

On your income figures, you would pay approx £350 per month for 5 years, or around £300 per month for 6 years, that`s not taking into account any early settlement offers that are made, or any accounts that may be unenforceable.
You can increase, or decrease these figures as you wish.

AbundantBudget

Don't worry with DMP you don't need to tell your work about it. It's between you and creditors.

Jox

I haven't had a good look at your SOA but I noticed you are paying £60 for gas and £60 for electricity, I'm with Bulb and pay £56 a month for both gas and elec, there is a referral thread on this forum and if you use a referral code you get £50 and the referrer gets £50, just in case you are able to  / want to move to Bulb.

Just a small thing that might help a little.

My sim only mobile phone bill is £18 a month with Virgin.

I have broadband with Sky, costs £27 a month. I watch freeview.

If your son moves out maybe you could get a lodger (not sure if that is allowed in a rented property?)

You could probably pay less that £300 a month on shopping.

Good luck with debt busting, you'll get lots of help and advice here

Magsmx5

Just wanted to add, there is fantastic support on this site and honestly nobody will judge you. You don’t  need to let your company or landlord know that you are having short term financial difficulties. Look at where you can make savings, food costs can be brought down, if you cook from scratch, make your own lunches and avoid the expensive take out coffees etc. Same with gifts. You would be surprised how many people feel pressurised into buying expensive gifts when in fact a simple, inexpensive , well thought gift such as a homemade special something is much more appreciated. Explain that you are cutting back, most people understand and your true friends will be there for you. The best present I had was a friend who looked after my cat so that I could go away for a much needed break knowing that my fur baby was in good hands meant that I could relax. We now  never buy gifts  but help each other out. Good luck with what ever you decide. 

ditty1234

Joanne good luck, I was about where you are a year ago, and my monthly debt payments went from £800 to £125, I have 2 boys one still in school living with me and one at university, so in a couple of years when it's just me I'll increase my DMP payments. You can do it. You need an emergency fund, you will find that once you start working on your bills you can probably cut between £100-200 off without much loss. You will also need an actual entertainment budget - in particular if you feel lonely you need to go out and meet other people. There are lots of Faceb00k walking / running groups that are free to join and you just need £3 for the odd social coffee. Ideally you should not be dependent on your son for company and then feel you have to pay things for him to make him stay. If he moves out I'm still sure he would come by to help with stuff/and for meals. Just making random comments here I don't know what your situation is here. But if he is paying £300 and you are paying all bills and groceries then I think he is not helping you financially even though he probably thinks he is. 
And also cut gifts - for a while. I did it for a year and it made a huge difference. I am now focussing on giving B'day gifts for my own boys (although I still owe ne of them), but you dont have to be all out honest w family and friends about your finances just say you have to save up for a deposit so you have the choice to move when you are ready.
Similar to you I am renting a 3 bed huse for £700 from a private landlord. I cant even get a 2 bed flat for that in my area. 
Anyways sorry for random comments, take what you can be strong once you start paying what you can afford, stop paying interest everything will make so much more sense.

consultant31

You could easily trim your outgoings by knocking off the satellite/cable tv; cutting back on the gift giving (£70 pm seems like an awful lot when you're struggling day to day); and if you shop wisely, you could, I'm sure, cut back on the £300 pm for groceries. 
I reckon you'd have at least an extra £100 to throw at the debts.

katsu

Definitely cancel satellite TV.   Also look at other options for accommodation when your son does move out.  A smaller 1 bed would be cheaper on council tax and heating bills too. 
Home made presents or small gestures are fine. Definitely don't use catalogues for that in future. 

warby68

Lots of good advice and likely solutions - I suspect the 'secrecy' of your position is the worst, not telling anyone so far and not wanting certain parties to know at all. Hopefully you are getting some reassurance that there are some discreet ways of sorting this if you're prepared to make the changes.
One thing I note is your thread title says £30k in debt but your SoA only accounts for £21k - just checking you've included everything. If you have, then you have an immediate win of things not being as bad as you thought. If you haven't perhaps revisit the SoA.