My partner currently rents, I'm moving in, what rights do i have?

Smodlet

OP, you do not come across as someone who is ready to let go of the control you currently have, which I totally understand.  I remember a similar dilemma a very long time ago without the encumbrance of a child.

OH moved into my council flat which remained in my sole name for three or four years.  I think it was about a year before we were in a position to buy our first house together that I finally felt confident enough to ask the council to make the tenancy a joint one; it was an emotional stepping stone, if you like.  They were at pains to point out I would be relinquishing my rights to the property, should we split up.

All I can say to you is, trust your instinct.  Why should he not move in with you so you retain control?  Are there tax credits or other benefits to consider if you move in together?

It is a pity that love and trust must submit to these tests but such is life.  When the tests are passed, life can be wonderful; nothing worth having is achieved without risk, right?  For what it's worth, we have just celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary; I realise that is irrelevant as everyone's situation is individual.

I wish you well.

busybee73

Smodlet said:

OP, you do not come across as someone who is ready to let go of the control you currently have, which I totally understand.  I remember a similar dilemma a very long time ago without the encumbrance of a child.

OH moved into my council flat which remained in my sole name for three or four years.  I think it was about a year before we were in a position to buy our first house together that I finally felt confident enough to ask the council to make the tenancy a joint one; it was an emotional stepping stone, if you like.  They were at pains to point out I would be relinquishing my rights to the property, should we split up.

All I can say to you is, trust your instinct.  Why should he not move in with you so you retain control?  Are there tax credits or other benefits to consider if you move in together?

It is a pity that love and trust must submit to these tests but such is life.  When the tests are passed, life can be wonderful; nothing worth having is achieved without risk, right?  For what it's worth, we have just celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary; I realise that is irrelevant as everyone's situation is individual.

I wish you well.

Beautiful story of yours, thank you so much for sharing, and you're right, I'm struggling with giving up my independence... Even at 46!!
Trouble is, when you've been stung before it's always hard to fully trust 100%
Thank you again. 

Kind regards 

Bb

pickledonionspaceraider

busybee73 said:

Socajam said:

busybee73 said:

Yes i would Adrian, because if he's asked me to move in and give up my home and leave me and my daughter homeless, after I'd spent my wages on the bills and contributed towards the house and it's upkeep, then yes, i would, because any decent person who had asked a mother and child to move in leaving them without a home, wouldn't put them a position where they'd be without anywhere to live.

I think your boyfriend should read this and ask you to stay the hell where you are.
With that attitude, me thinks you should stay single

I see you caught the judgement express and stopped at every station
.... 

Always one. 

I'm glad I didn't post the back story, as you're understanding attitude would have been far too overwhelming for me to deal with in one day. 
Maybe take that lemon out of your mouth hey. 
 

hahahha

pickledonionspaceraider

I have some questions
1- Why can he not move in with you?
2- Is it in the same area / will your daughter keep the same school?

Smodlet

Busybee, I hope you come back and tell us of your decision.  If your partner really understands how you feel and is willing to give you equal control regarding rental rights, have you considered which is the better property and area?  Why should you have to move into his home unless it is appreciably better in some way than yours?

OH had nowhere else to go, once he had decided to leave his current situation so that was not a decision we had to consider. 

The first house we bought together was in the same street as the council flat; quite a few of the houses had become privately owned.  One of our next door neighbours was a single mum; an absolutely lovely lady who met a man through her job and moved in with him, taking her 17 year old son with her; it did not work out.  Six months later, she was very lucky to be allocated another council property, a maisonette on a much busier road... That was in the first half of the 90s; I doubt she would be so lucky now.

John_

mattyprice4004 said:

He's been there longer, if you broke up I'd say out of decency you'd have to leave - but it'd only be fair that he doesn't just 'boot you out' and gives you time to find somewhere else. 

Sorry, but being a Mum or giving up your house doesn't give you special status - he's been there much longer, and it seems unfair that you'd just take the house and expect him to move. 

I’d agree with this. If you break up with him it should be down to you to find somewhere new for you and your daughter.

ashe

If I was this bloke and read this thread I’d be dodging this bullet so fast. A written agreement to give up my home? 😹

Smodlet

I would not move out of my home until my partner and I were in a position to either buy or rent somewhere together, with equal rights to it.  I wish the OP luck and hope they make the right decision for them.

JayRitchie

Do either of you have council or social housing? That would change the situation a lot. Likewise if you are on housing benefit, or have a child who might want to go to university in the next few years.