OS with young kids - tips & advice

Bluegreen143

Hello! I was just wondering if others on here were trying to be as OS as possible with very young children, and thought we could share tips and ideas. (And any ladies who’ve “been there done that” too!)

I love most things OS and thrifty but since having my youngest a lot has slipped away and I’ve been in “survival mode”. My youngest is an awful sleeper so over a year with no full nights of sleep has taken its toll on my energy levels...

I really need to get the finances properly under control both for our long term financial health and for our two short term goals this year - our first ever family holiday abroad in May (booked flights & air bnb but need to save up spending money) and also redecorating - we never have since we bought the house five years ago, except for the kids’ rooms, and it’s now tired and grubby paintwork etc.

For background, I’m a SAHM to a four year old son (at nursery each term time weekday morning which includes a free lunch) and a 13 month old daughter at home with me full time. Husband is out at work but rarely works late (usually back 4-6pm) and is hands on with the kids and housework so I am lucky there.

I love: cooking and baking from scratch, knitting and growing fruit and veg (we also keep chickens). Would love to learn to sew and quilt but never have the time! On top of usual childcare and housekeeping commitments I’m currently trying to get fit and healthy again and lose the baby weight - more focused on exercise and not dieting as such, shouldn’t impact the food budget except saving money buying less rubbish!

It’s easy to slip into convenience options when tired and busy and these inevitably cost more so I’d like to challenge myself to get back to my OS roots, cut our frivolous spending (both on food and also other areas eg paying for parking and lunch out when we haven’t been organised) and hopefully have some fun doing things I enjoy and simplifying life a bit! The 4yo is really helpful at baking, cleaning and gardening too so hoping to get him involved as much as possible and show him the satisfaction of a thrifty OS lifestyle

[Deleted User]

Don't be so hard on yourself lovey, no one can function properly with small people who don't sleep to deal with 24/7 and until they do start to form a routine you just have to do what you can and survive it! we've all been there and felt exactly the same 'Oh my word, life ought to be better than this!' feelings. Do the best you can with the time you 'do' have and don't try for a perfect home, convenience food is made for just such times as these and thank goodness for it too. You won't always be tired out and demoralised but you can't be superwoman either, not just yet, perhaps it will happen in the future but there will come a day when you think' well that's a bit more like it' and find that mojo again.


In the meantime I found a slow cooker invaluable with healthier eating, I don't and never have done anything other than chuck in chopped up ingredients and turned it on. All the faffing frying and sealing doesn't need to happen, it cooks nice food if you just bung it all in and leave it to chunter away all day and mine is a big one so now there are only the two of us it can make us 6 good portions for little power outlay and I freeze 4 of them for later saving us time and money. That's my useful tip and if you can find the time in the morning to start it all of when the small ones are playing/occupied/ having a nap the evening meal looks after itself and all you have to do is maybe cook the carby part and serve it up, good luck love xxx.

Bluegreen143

Mrslurcherwalker thank you so much for your lovely kind words, it’s so true that in general us ladies are too hard on ourselves and I know I’m guilty of wanting to do it all! Thanks for the reminder to be kind to myself. My daughter has finally switched to taking one longer nap a day (handily in the morning when my son is at nursery) so I’m starting to come out of the “baby fog” and see the light at the end of the tunnel! And we are working on persuading her that big 1yos don’t need milk at night as I’m still breastfeeding and would like to wean her off soon now. Hopefully that will help the sleep situation and I’ll have more energy still. Since New Years I’ve cut right back on sugar and started walking, yoga and swimming and it’s amazing how much more energy I have even though sleep is still poor so long may that continue! But you’re totally right about taking baby steps and not being hard on myself.

She’s just gone down for a nap & my son is at grandma’s (mil) still from last night so I’m going to get off my bum and get the chicken in the slow cooker for tonight! I have one but have fallen out of using it much. I do have an instant pot too (and an old fashioned stovetop pressure cooker too) so I do love a gadget

-taff

Sounds as if you are trying to do everything at once...Why not start slow and give yourself a project a month? So one month concentrate on sorting your finances, once they're done you have your framework for the month after so it won't be so difficult. One month concentrate on getting out and about more etc. Giving yourself monthly goals is easier than trying to fit everything in for every day....

luxor4t

I still get excited when a big cardboard box comes into the house as I think "the kids" will have fun with this....... and then reality taps me on the shoulder, the youngest is 30!

[Deleted User]

Good girl! I love a gadget that looks after itself without any input from me and serves us up a lovely meal in the evening when I'm at my lowest energy levels and just want to stop for the day! magic!!!

buildersdaughter

Goodness, I agree that you are being hard on yourself. Take a deep breath and celebrate small steps - much more likely to get there.
I also see lots of positives in your post - chickens and gardening!
I was a SAHM to 4 children for some years before picking up my wonderful job again, and yes, had a strict budget so that we too could have a nice holiday every year (camping for us!)
First of all, don't worry about quilting or sewing for the time being. They are wonderful hobbies, but let them arrive naturally, by first making sure that you mend clothes, then by maybe doing a bit of altering to jumble / charity finds. Knitting, if you enjoy it, will yield more results, and is easier to pick up / put down.
Do you have a freezer? Then batch cook. Keep an emergency meal in there. Also keep emergency bread & grated cheese.
Flapjacks are your stand-by - 4 year old can help stir - oats and dried fruit make them filling and tasty. Squares go into boxes to take in the car.
Jacket potatoes are another stand-by - no-one complained when dinner was jacket potato, beans and grated cheese!

Do budget for treats - whatever they may be - and let us know how it's going.
Oh, and another vote for a slow cooker!

Bluegreen143

Thank you so much all for your kind and encouraging words. I hope I didn’t come across as being too hard on myself in my post - I love to cook from scratch etc and I’m excited at planning to get back into it more. But I totally agree with the comment about taking too much on and making a goal each month might be best.

I think for now my main goal will be to reduce waste/use up leftovers more effectively and so hopefully reduce the food bill at the same time. Any savings will help as I will put them towards our redecorating fund. We wallpapered one wall in the living room last night & it was exciting to get started

I’d like to keep the food bill to £200 in February and £50 for toiletries, cleaning, pet supplies etc. We’ve recently switched to paying for alcohol from our own personal spending budget instead of me taking it from the food budget so it won’t include that (I rarely drink anymore, maybe 1-2 drinks a week, but Mr Bluegreen has at least a couple of beers a night usually unless working on call, and will drink more heavily at the weekend - not an ideal habit but he likes it to relax).

It’s been a good day today though not terribly active as my Fitbit is only at 7.5k steps. But I might be able to make it up to 10k walking round the house :rotfl:

Spent some time in the kitchen:

- lentil and bacon soup in the instant pot

- slow cooker chicken which we had for dinner with roasties, sage & onion stuffing, gravy, steamed carrots and kale

- cooked & pureed some wrinkly nectarines, apple and dried apricots. Kids & I had some with yoghurt and honey as a snack and then I froze the rest in ice lolly moulds for snacks for them later on

- cut up melon and veg sticks in tubs in the fridge for healthy snacks for the kids & I

Might go make some overnight oats now for breakfast tomorrow, it makes a Monday morning nursery run so much easier if breakfast is already prepped!

I had a lightbulb moment re self care today... I prioritise healthy meals, adequate sleep, fresh air & exercise and time to play each day for the kids. Yet I don’t do it for myself. In reality I need sleep, healthy food, fresh air & exercise and time to myself to relax or do a hobby just as the kids do and it’s not selfish to plan our days to account for that.

Bluegreen143

Well I didn’t get round to making overnight oats last night but I did put all the chicken bones back in the slow cooker with some water and left it overnight - never made stock in the slow cooker before, much easier

Walked to Monkey (my 4yos) nursery today - I always always drove but since I got a Fitbit in the new year we usually walk in the morning (I do still drive to pick him up as we are usually going somewhere after or rushing home for the baby’s lunch). It’s a 1.5 mile round trip for me so a good chunk of my 10k daily steps and I do it with Bambi (the 13mo) strapped to my back which must count as even more exercise :rotfl:

Did misjudge it this morning as all of a sudden it heavily hailed on the way home, waking up Bambi (bad enough she had dropped off as she doesn’t usually and it ruins her nap later so no housework or down time for me...) and she was furious bless her. Thankfully I had put a hat on her.

Plans for today:

Breakfast - was cereal, milk and banana
Lunch - Monkey gets at nursery so baked potato & cheese & salad for Bambi & I
Afternoon snack - peanut butter muffins from the freezer and fruit
Dinner - chicken & veg risotto with leftover chicken from last night, fruity ice lollies for the kids after.

Monday is my wash day - I start on Sunday night & hopefully get it all done on Monday and put away on Tuesday. Means I don’t need to think about washing all the rest of the week except for washing nappies every 3 days.

No social plans today as going to B&Q after lunch time nursery pick up to get the living room paint which is exciting as we will hopefully get the first coat up tonight, we did the woodwork gloss last night. If the hail doesn’t come back might take the kids for a walk in the local park later.

euronorris

It's so hard when they don't sleep well. My 3 year old still doesn't sleep great, despite our best intentions, and it certainly takes it's toll. We only have the one, so I can only imagine how much harder it must be with two!


But....what I have found recently is that focusing on things you enjoy doing (for me, that's gardening) and saying to others when you need help/a break, has really turned things around. I have done something that makes me happy, and I've worked breaks into my week. This gives me more energy to deal with the daily stuff, and I don't find it so overwhelming to stay on top of the little things (which seem massive when you're exhausted).


DD 'gardens' with me. This mostly involves her digging for worms, but means she's happy, I'm happy and an added bonus of feeling productive!


Do what you have to, to survive. Build in small changes that start to snowball and you'll get there

Bluegreen143

Euronorris I’m so sorry your 3yo still isn’t a great sleeper. The long term nature of it all really does take a toll as you never get a chance to recover. I’m lucky in that while my 4yo wasn’t a good sleeper in his first year (and in his second year slept fine but only in our bed...) he now sleeps brilliantly all night, in his own bed from 7.30pm and rarely wakes much before 7am. He can now take himself off to the toilet when he wakes & will amuse himself til his digital clock tells him it’s 7 if he does wake early. This is nothing short of a miracle to me given how sleep deprived I was when he was little and gives me hope for Bambi’s sleep one day! And I really hope for you one day your DD just starts sleeping and you will look back on the sleepless nights as a distant memory and wonder how you coped!

Thank you for your good advice - you are so right that it’s about finding what you love and getting breaks too. I’m looking forward to the next growing season, we are very amateur gardeners but we always get something that works well and that keeps us going through any garden failures! We have planted elephant garlic this year so will see how it performs. We were quite late on getting it into the ground but fingers crossed for it

I think one key for me is getting & staying organised and ahead of things, having freezer meals in etc as despite best intentions to cook up something lovely with tired hungry small kids that dinner time hour can be very stressful!