How to ensure my Mums wishes are followed?

atfcrick

Long story short...

My Mum (60) has had Motor Neurone disease for 5 years. She can barely move and has lived in a care home for the last 2.5 years. She can talk & is completely sound of mind.

We have found out that my Dad has been having an affair for the past 2 years.

When my Mum was first diagnosed, they updated their wills - everything (mainly, 2 properties) would go to my Dad upon her death (or vice-versa in the unlikely event he died first), then upon his death, to the children (me and my brother).

Both properties are now solely in his name.

My Mum hasn't got the strength to fight a long battle with him. She simply asks that he respects her wishes that eventually their property is passed to her children. He has said that he will put it "in trust" to us, so that this happens when he passes.

What exactly does this mean?
Does it guarantee anything or can he just change things once she dies? His "new woman" has 2 children, what's to stop him simply changing everything in a few years to leave everything to her & them?

Keep_pedalling

How did the 2 properties end up owned solely by your dad?

Frankly there is nothing she can do if she no longer owns the property, that will depend on your fathers will or the laws of intestacy if he has not made one.

xylophone

When my Mum was first diagnosed, they updated their wills - everything (mainly, 2 properties) would go to my Dad upon her death (or vice-versa in the unlikely event he died first), then upon his death, to the children (me and my brother).

Both properties are now solely in his name.

If the properties were held as "joint tenants", then they could not pass by will - they would pass automatically to the survivor.

If they were held as Tenants-in-Common, then each could bequeath his/her interest.

If the properties were held as joint tenants/TiC, how did it happen that they are now solely in your father's name?

If they are solely in your father's name, then his current will, (assets to your mother if he predeceases her, otherwise to the children), suffices to fulfil your mother's wishes?

Of course he could write a new will at any time - should your mother predecease him he might choose to leave his assets to his children but with a life interest to a new partner - perhaps this is what he means?

PennyForThem_2

Find out how the properties changed ownership to father only. Were the properties ever jointly owned?.

Maybe a search on Land Registry?

atfcrick

Apologies - there was a slight error, only 1 is solely in his name...

Property #1 - In joint names. Paid for with a life insurance payout paid to my Mum upon her diagnosis.

Property #2 - In my Dads name only. Paid for with the proceeds of a previous house sale (the previous house was in my Mums name only).

As you can see, it's all a bit off a mess. Both properties have been bought since my Mums diagnosis. The second one was bought recently (after my Dad had started his affair). He persuaded my Mum that the second house should be in his name only "to make things easier when she's gone". Obviously it seems to me that he has acted deceitfully.

Personally, I think she should pursue it legally, so that she alone decides what to do. I'm sure were she to divorce him, she would come out of it very well due to source of funds for both purchases. But of course, she may not have the will or strength to face that.

Gavin83

Am I to assume by what you've written that you no longer have a relationship with your dad?

Ultimately if she leaves everything to him in the will he is free to do with it as he wishes which includes reversing any previous agreements. She is free to change her will to leave assets to you but that'll depend on the ownership and given what you've written so far that might not work.

She is of course free to divorce him but the starting point is a 50/50 split of assets, the source of the funding is largely irrelevant. Also depending on how her care home placement is funded it might well end up that her previously free care (assuming it's free now) is now suddenly charged at full cost and therefore potentially her entire share of the assets could be eaten up.

There's a lot to consider here. However your mum should only divorce him because she wants to, not to protect an inheritance.

xylophone

Property #1 - In joint names. Paid for with a life insurance payout paid to my Mum upon her diagnosis.

Then this passes by survivorship.

Property #2 - In my Dads name only. Paid for with the proceeds of a previous house sale (the previous house was in my Mums name only).

Then it belongs to your father alone and he can dispose of it/will it as he chooses.

He persuaded my Mum that the second house should be in his name only "to make things easier when she's gone". Obviously it seems to me that he has acted deceitfully.

Your mother is compos mentis but nevertheless, because of her serious illness, could still be described as "vulnerable".

I suppose it would be possible to approach a solicitor on this basis.

However, the cost and the effect on your mother's health needs to be taken into account - is it worth worrying her?

xylophone

(assuming it's free now)

Likely as her needs arise solely from physical disease.

lees80

Given that your mum is of sound mind, she can alter her will and the way that house #1 is owned. She would need for the ownership to be Tenants in Common and she can then leave her share of the house as she see fit. She will obviously need to involve a solicitor given the complexities of the situation, but it can be done.

House #2 - more than likely a battle, unfortunately one that might not be won in a timely fashion.

The bottom line is that your Dad will at best (for him) end up with both properties, or if your mum has the strength to make the changes, he will end up with one property and half of the other. Neither of these is ideal given the information you've shared, but it is what it is.

Is your mum aware of the affair?

atfcrick

To be honest, this is all very raw & I'm not yet sure if I want a continued relationship with my Dad.

My Mum is aware of the affair & rightly worried that everything she has worked hard for will now benefit another woman & her children. Not to mention the thought of another woman "enjoying" these properties while she is still alive, but bed-bound in a home.

My Mum qualifies for continuing healthcare funding due to the nature of her condition. It is not means tested, so nothing that happens will affect this.

I've asked her to speak to a solicitor (who is also an old friend of hers).

Linton

It all sounds like a very difficult situation, my sympathies. However I suggest you dont try to persuade her to take or not take any action. What she does with her assets is her decision to make and your feelings about it should be secondary. Just support her in whatever she chooses to do.