Ex partner refusing all offers

ban237

My partner's ex partner is causing lots of problems with regards to their home that they owned together. They were not married.
He now lives with me and she still lives in the house with their daughter. The mortgage payments are quite high and it is his salary that secured the mortgage. He is able to take it on but she will be struggling to pay the monthly repayments and earns nowhere near enough to be able to buy him out. He has paid towards the mortgage for the past year as well as child maintenance payments. The house is up for sale (and will come with a large early repayment fee on the mortgage) but has had little interest due to being a new build on a still under development site and the little interest they have had has been frustrated by her not engaging with the estate agents.

My partner has reduced the amount he pays towards the mortgage as it was more than she needed to pay it. She lives a lifestyle she cannot afford (drives a fancy car on finance, goes on holidays etc) and he is sick of paying for it. She was managing to pay the difference but has now decided she won't and is demanding £600 on top of the £350 in child maintenance he gives to her and has refused to put any money into the bank account which the mortgage is taken from until he puts £600 in, so the mortgage has now bounced.

My partner has offered to buy her out, and has offered to take on the mortgage entirely and will be able to raise enough to pay her back her deposit by the summer. The house has no equity and as such this is all she is legally owed. If they sell they are both going to lose thousands due to the early repayment fee plus the others fees associated with sale.
She declined this and instead has demanded a much higher sum with no justification plus a refund on all the money she has paid towards the mortgage since she lived there.

it's getting ridiculous. He is now in a position where if he pays for the mortgage she will play this game every month, or he doesn't pay it, gets a default on his credit score and won't be able to buy her out anyway as the mortgage company are unlikely to accept him with a default.
She however doesn't seem to give a care In the world if the house is repossessed or her finances are ruined.

How can we resolve this situation? Is there any way to make her see how unreasonable she is being?

foxy-stoat

ban237 wrote: »

How can we resolve this situation? Is there any way to make her see how unreasonable she is being?

Not without costing your partner more money than the property is worth.

Sounds like she doesn't care as if and when the lender repossess the house she will get on the housing list and probably get another new house from one of the Housing Associations or the Council. Her credit will be shot as will your partners but sounds like she wont care.

Your partner has little hope of a successful sale unless she is on board 100%. Maybe stop paying the mortgage altogether and save up the cash he would normally pay. Keep your finances separate from his has he wont be able to involved on a mortgage for a good few years from when the house is finally sold. The interest will mount up and eat into any equity so the property will be worthless to him.

If you have something in writing from the ex that say that she wont be paying the mortgage, send that to the lender with a letter confirming voluntarily repossession and handing a set of keys back. Hopefully they will get in and change the locks while she is out eventually. Shame about the daughter though but they will likely get somewhere to live for free at some point.

jimmyjammy001

If there is no equity and the ex won't agree just be easier to let the bank reposes it and take the hit on the credit score, can't be paying for someone else's lifestyle choice for the next 25 years

ban237

It just seems very unfair to ruin his perfectly good credit rating. He can afford to pay for the house and still pay child maintenance and has also offered to help her find somewhere nice to rent in the interim as he doesn't want his daughter to live anywhere unpleasant.
By offering to buy her out it protects both of their credit and allows both of them to purchase properties in future, we find it unbelievable that she would sacrifice that for herself and her daughter.

By buying her out he cannot afford to give her her deposit back upfront but has promised it by the summer and has even suggested getting it legally written up so it's a secure contract. Still refused.

If he does agree to a suggestion of hers, (however ridiculous) she then refuses and moves the goalposts. It's very frustrating as this is all being done out of spite as she cannot accept he has moved on. She has tried to ruin our relationship and his career unsuccessfully so now she's trying this.

jbkmum

Then stop playing her game. Call her bluff, the damage to his credit score will be repaired.

es5595

Depending on your living situation, why don’t you rent your place out, and move into the former marital home?

You may find it sufficiently focuses her mind on the benefits of moving out and getting her own place. Failing that, you’re no longer pouring money down the drain and risking a trashed credit record.

gj373

Lawyer up and get a court order for sale of the house?

foxy-stoat

So whats it worth on the open market & mortgage redemption figure? Take off the costs for Estate Agent and solicitor....whats left?

Has he even approached the lender to see if they think he can afford it on his own?

This wont end well, or quickly.

ban237

House is worth £270,000, which is exactly what they bought it for. The lender has stated that he would have to pay off a chunk to take it on himself, or would be approved if I go on the mortgage with him.
We've discussed him moving back in whilst she's still there, but the only reason he left in the first place was she threw a baby monitor at him, locked him in the house and then made false allegations of assault against him so if he goes back he's putting himself in a vulnerable position.

Socajam

I agree with foxy-stoat and everyone who suggested to stop paying the mortgage and let the house be repossessed.
Sometimes one have to stand up to a bully, otherwise if you give in, they will continue.
Once she sees that he is serious, her brain might start working.

[Deleted User]

Is she receiving Universal credit ?