Ex asking to increase maintenance

lone_father

I have been paying maintenance for many years and my ex has asked to increase the payments.

She has had more children since we separated - she soon married after we separated but we were never married ourselves. She feels that her other children miss out because she has less to spend on them compared to our child who I'm paying maintenance for. Obviously I am not responsible for her other children. I have parental responsibility and regular contact with our child.

Q1 - How does it stand in law, in terms of what the receiver spends maintenance on ? I am expecting that my ex will spend less on our child and share it between her other children, but in this case I would be financing the upkeep of her other children who I am not responsible for. In an extreme case, what would stop the receiver spending it on drugs and alcohol or luxury things for themselves instead of the child it is intended for ? Not that my ex would, I was just wondering how it stands in law.

Q2 - Does it make any difference the fact that she is married (he works full time, she doesn't work) ? I am willing to pay my share of maintenance towards my child's upkeep, but I came across this article (on the moneyadviceservice website) which left me confused and surprised. I just want to know where I stand in law...

Changes if you enter a new relationship
Maintenance payments to you will stop if you remarry or enter a new civil partnership.

Living with someone else in a relationship, without marrying or entering a civil partnership, doesn’t automatically mean that payments from your ex-partner will stop.

But he or she could ask you to agree to reduce the amount, or stop payments altogether.

This is on the basis that there is someone else who is now contributing to your living costs.

This can be complicated so it’s worth taking legal advice.

I wouldn't stop paying maintenance even if the above was true as it would have a detrimental affect to my child, but I didn't think my ex's marital status would make any difference yet the article seems to state differently ?

Caz3121

no idea what country that references but it sounds like it is referring spousal maintenance and not child maintenance
Child maintenance is not affected if your ex remarries

asdf1982

Use the CMS calculator to see if you are paying the correct amount. Her other kids and new husband are irrelevant.

BAFE

I think the other posters have already said what I was about to say.

1. The article you've copied obviously applies to spousal support, not child maintenance and
2. Check on the CMS calculator which will tell you the minimum amount you should be paying.

You say you've been paying for many years, have you been paying the same amount for years and years then?

lone_father

Thanks all for your replies - you are correct in that the article refers to spousal maintenance NOT child maintenance so it all makes sense now (I thought it didn't make sense for child maintenance!)...



I've increased payment over the years but not directly in maintenance - we agreed that I pay for other things directly rather than pay my it to my ex. She now wants to change this so that I increase the maintenance payments and she will pay for the other things I was paying directly myself.


I have agreed to this and in the process of working out the amount - I have manually calculated the amount defined in the document for child maintenance on the government website and also the online calculator. But the online calculator results in a lower payment than if I calculate it manually so I'm trying to find out why there is a discrepancy and which calculation is correct i.e. the online calculation or my manual calculation


I am also curious if there are guidelines on how the maintenance should be spent by the receiver - are they allowed to spend it on what ever they want ? Even if its not spent on the child ?

elsien

You cannot police how maintenance payments are used. They are to support the child in whatever way your ex deems fit - if it goes towards paying bills or family outings rather than directly on the child it still benefits the child.
The degree of intrusion and control that policing this by the person paying would involve is completely unacceptable.

Mojisola

lone_father wrote: »

I've increased payment over the years but not directly in maintenance - we agreed that I pay for other things directly rather than pay my it to my ex. She now wants to change this so that I increase the maintenance payments and she will pay for the other things I was paying directly myself.

Make sure you are paying the legally set amount for your child - if you then want to pay for other things for your child, continue to do that directly.

Comms69

lone_father wrote: »

Thanks all for your replies - you are correct in that the article refers to spousal maintenance NOT child maintenance so it all makes sense now (I thought it didn't make sense for child maintenance!)...



I've increased payment over the years but not directly in maintenance - we agreed that I pay for other things directly rather than pay my it to my ex. She now wants to change this so that I increase the maintenance payments and she will pay for the other things I was paying directly myself.


I have agreed to this and in the process of working out the amount - I have manually calculated the amount defined in the document for child maintenance on the government website and also the online calculator. But the online calculator results in a lower payment than if I calculate it manually so I'm trying to find out why there is a discrepancy and which calculation is correct i.e. the online calculation or my manual calculation


I am also curious if there are guidelines on how the maintenance should be spent by the receiver - are they allowed to spend it on what ever they want ? Even if its not spent on the child ?

I don't know why there's a discrepancy, but the correct amount is Gross Wage - Pension contribution = X


(X *0.12) = maintenance


then take away 1/7 for each night per week you have your child overnight.

BAFE

" But the online calculator results in a lower payment than if I calculate it manually so I'm trying to find out why there is a discrepancy and which calculation is correct i.e. the online calculation or my manual calculation"

the online calculation will be the correct one.

Comedy

lone_father wrote: »

Thanks all for your replies - you are correct in that the article refers to spousal maintenance NOT child maintenance so it all makes sense now (I thought it didn't make sense for child maintenance!)...



I've increased payment over the years but not directly in maintenance - we agreed that I pay for other things directly rather than pay my it to my ex. She now wants to change this so that I increase the maintenance payments and she will pay for the other things I was paying directly myself.


I have agreed to this and in the process of working out the amount - I have manually calculated the amount defined in the document for child maintenance on the government website and also the online calculator. But the online calculator results in a lower payment than if I calculate it manually so I'm trying to find out why there is a discrepancy and which calculation is correct i.e. the online calculation or my manual calculation


I am also curious if there are guidelines on how the maintenance should be spent by the receiver - are they allowed to spend it on what ever they want ? Even if its not spent on the child ?

Hi there, There is no guidance on how the money is spent. If you think your children are actually neglected then you take it up with the Family Court. If you think they are not but that your ex is living lavishly thanks to your maintenance the only place to take it up is the Pub :beer: