Is this a stupid question...

Unicorn_cottage

Sarahwithlove wrote: »

If you can find a job that means you will significantly reduce your travel costs then it would be worth while. Its also worth considering the extra time you will get with your family. That is priceless. Maybe chat with your other half and see if he is happy to pick up the slack whilst you pay off the debts. Have you checked your on the lowest rates for them? Could you transfer any to a lower interest? Could you pay more off on ones with higher interest and less on lower ones so that you shift the higher interest rate ones first

This as well. Have you done all the bits and bobs to help you on your way i.e. changing bank accounts to take advantage of any financial incentives i.e. think HSBC are offering £175 (YES PLEASE!) at the mo, shopping at Aldi/Lidl, selling any stuff you don't need etc.

TryingAgain2022

Thanks all for the feedback and suggestions. To respond -

We don't really have joint finances. There's a joint account that pays into the mortgage but that's it. I pay food and some into the mortgage, he pays rest of mortgage and other bills. We don't really discuss money and he says he has debts but I don't know how much or how much he earns (though it's more than me, and I know he has paid off some stuff recently). I don't feel I can ask him to prop me up when he has his own stuff to deal with. Also we don't really have joint goals etc, we're not very organised! He's subbing me this month because of the wages shortfall after I was off sick. I'm grateful for this but don't like it as we are usually v independent.

I'm paying off the debts in order of highest interest rate first - and closing down each card as it goes (two so far). I used to do the constant swapping to get better interest rates but always found I couldn't pay off enough in the low-rate period, plus there was always a charge of 3% or whatever to actually do the move - no free swaps available for me! I found the admin of it stressful and now I just have standing orders which covers the minimum plus interest plus a chunk, and I don't worry about monitoring it for the direct debit reducing with the balance etc.

From what everyone says I'm thinking I need to stay put until I can find a job that pays the same or more BUT without the commute (or with flexible working etc) so I can get my life back. It's a fixed term post anyway so only til middle of next year. If I can cling on and just stick with the plan, in 2023 I will be able to choose the kind of work I enjoy which also fits around life - and the need to earn a certain amount is not so great. I'm not really money-focused when it comes to jobs, which is why I've made some stupid decisions in the past - and how I ended up working longer hours for less pay this time!

Thanks again. Think I have been suffering from January loss of motivation, esp having to put things on credit card to get to the end of the month... My other option money wise is to try and sell a few bits of my writing on the side, but that would eat into the tiny amount of downtime/family time we already have so it doesn't feel much like a solution.

I'll feel better at the weekend. We are Own Brand Alley for our food shops and doing that always makes me feel more in control.

And writing out this thread has helped massively and calmed me down so thanks even more.

Whiterose23

I'm in a similar position. 60+ mile commute each way. It gets me down sometimes but is worth it as the difference in pay if I worked locally would be more like £600 less a month, which I can't afford to lose.
Presuming you drive, saving fuel and car maintenance costs by working locally could balance it out. I overcame the issue to some degree by agreeing with my manager one day a week working from home, plus flexible working helps as I can set off early to avoid the rush hour. Maybe you could look into this?
I've come to quite enjoy the 'me time', listening to music/audio books, but at some point intend to stop.

clairebeth

I think it would be perfectly reasonable for you to change jobs for improved quality of life, when you think of the time and money saved by not commuting, the shortfall seems less significant.

There are other ways the extra time could save you money also:
Time to meal plan and meal prep
Time to shop at Lidl
Less breakfast club/ after school club

I do find it alarming that you are a family with children and have separate finances and don't know about each other's debt or expenditure. It puts you and your children in a very unsecure position if it turned out neither of you could service your debts and were unaware of the other's position.

I would suggest you each do a statement of affairs (you don't necessarily need to put it on here, just for your own benefit) so that you can each see your financial positions, then you need to start joining your finances together to reach your financial goals.

Once you get that a bit more sorted, it will be more clear to you whether the job change is possible or not.

MissMollyJ

If you only pay a contribution towards mortgage I can’t imagine what your £1700 bills are?!?! Even at just under £700 debt repayment - do you have a huge mortgage - like massively huge? Maybe you could think about downsizing if so...

I would no way commute 60 miles each way a day. I know I couldn’t cope with it. Quality of life is far more important. I’d rather have a cheap house and more free hours in my day than anything else.

I think a serious look at your finances together as a couple is required...it all seems incredibly vague and if you have kids together it shouldn’t be like this imho.

maisie_cat

There are the tangible differences like loss of take home pay versus savings in commuting, childcare and (for us anyway) the difference between cooking at home and getting lunches/ready meals in a rush.
Then there are the intangible, stress, effects on relationship, health etc.
When I gave up work in London I calculated that the cost of being time poor/cash rich was around £900 a month, much of which was petrol & car wear & tear, lunches/coffees & nipping into waitrose on the way home to get dinner.
With more time you can make lunch rather than buying it, take coffee from home, have time to make dinner yourself, reduce childcare costs.
It all adds up, but I never regretted giving up the daily grind into London. I worked locally for a while, less money but more time, a healthier diet, home grown veg and home made wine/beer
We were fortunate that we had no non mortgage debt, but we soon adapted to losing £2000 a month

Whiterose23

Working nearer to home for less money doesn't automatically mean more time at home/more time to plan meals etc ... it depends on the hours you have to work and other factors such as flexibility of the employer to allow homeworking or flexi time. In my case if I found a similar job nearer to home as a newbie I'd have to work five days a week 40 hours to get 75% of what I earn now.. Currently I'm home by 5.30pm, despite the long commute due to having gained my employers' trust so that I can come and go as I please, providing I meet the core hours.

middleclassbutpoor

My take on this would be to look at how long its going to take you to get out of debt. £696 a month is circa £8400 per year in repayments.

As a basic rate tax payer, you are probably needing around £10-11k a year of your current salary to service these.

Only once you are debt free would I even think about reducing my income.