Mixed feelings and feeling depressed

User_060921

So i am now three months into my Step Change managed DMP.

I did think by now i may start to feel less depressed but that hasn't proven to be the case.

A lot has gone on in life over the past few months - my emergency fund has been hammered to almost nothing, my dad has been diagnosed as being terminally ill and my mum has has dementia,.

I am in the process of moving my dad from where he lives (100+ miles away) to my home town, but the process of selling his house and buying somewhere near me has been such a ball ache.

This is my priority, no questions asked.

Selfishly, i have suffered with depression and anxiety for a good while now and I am still worried all the time about money.

I should have saved a bigger EF, to the degree i am contemplating ending by arrangement with Step Change and just telling everyone who i owe (a lot of money) to that they will just have to whistle for a while.

Of my 8 debts, 6 have defaulted, two haven't even acknowledged any missed payments.

My credit score, having gone up last month, has dropped drastically this.

My plan, along with seeing the doc about my depression, is to make no payments until May time and see where that leaves me...hopefully it helps me get back into an situation that i am not checking my account three times a day. How sad eh?

elsien

I can't comment on the DMP other than to say ignore the credit score, it doesn't matter. Depression and anxiety are illnesses in the same way as physical illnesses. You wouldn't call yourself selfish if you had a debilitating physical ailment, so calling yourself selfish for being depressed seems to be blaming yourself for something that isn't your fault. Particularly with everything else you have going on in your life at the moment. Try to be kind to yourself while you are waiting to see the doctor.

User_060921

Kind words, but i am going through one of those phases where i just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Everything seems to be building up and i am not coping as well as I hoped.

fatbelly

Yeah, obviously your health comes first. This is a peak time of the year for depression and you have had life events that would throw anyone.

Rather than just making no payments for 5 months (not that that would cause major problems in that time) what about asking Stepchange to move you to token offers (£1) for 6 months?

Have you considered insolvency options like DRO or Bankruptcy (I don't know how much you owe)?

sourcrates

Unfortunately you have a lot going on at present and the debt is really the least of your worries, sad to say it I know, but once this faze has reached its natural conclusion, and you have come to terms with your parent’s situation, things will get better.
My father died when I was 16, my mother when I was in my mid 40’s, life will get better, there is always a way out, sometimes life throws us a curveball, to quote the Americans, you will deal with it, and you will come out the other side, for now your folks are your main priority, try and make the most of the time left, debts can wait.

[Deleted User]

Didn't want to read and run.

I echo what Fatbelly said and ask Stepchange to put you on £1 tokens for the interim, this will give you a breathing space that you need.

Sending you big hugs.

Pmo2
xx