A Year in the Life of...

EssexHebridean

I think a lot of us have ended up here via the "that's just what people do" thinking. I know when I first got here (2007, I think?) we were routinely in the overdraft at the end of every month, had held our mortgage for 5 years and spent the entire time talking about overpaying it "one day" and had just taken out a loan for a replacement car - we were far from in the financial straits that many first time posters here find themselves, in, but thinking back now it would only have taken the loss of one income, or even reduction of one income, to have brought things crashing down.  There are so many light hearted jokes and comments about being in the red, or having "too much month for the money" etc - and we really need to start gently speaking out against that being seen as "the norm". 

Sorry - soapbox is away now!

joedenise

Absolutely agree @EssexHebridean.  

The difference for us was that when we got our first mortgage we were aged 40 and knew we wanted the mortgage gone before retirements however the mortgage we had was fixed at 14%!  (1990 rates) and we could only overpay in lumps of £1,000 and we just didn't seem to be able to get those extra lumps together.  With hindsight I wish we had used the Tilly Tidy method ad saved in a separate account rather than trying to save in our current account!

Eventually we changed our mortgage to one where we could pay however much we wanted whenever we wanted and it was at that point we were able to start reducing the mortgage!  We had an interest only mortgage because that was what was advised at the time and we just couldn't afford to change to a repayment mortgage.  We did manage to pay off the mortgage a few months early and have some money left from the Endowment Policy but do wish we'd started with a repayment mortgage and not got ourselves into the muddle we did.

Still everything is OK now and we have both retired and managing OK without debt!

EssexHebridean

Ouchy to that interest rate - different times eh! Ours was taken in 2003 and the lowest we ever got on rates was the last fix at 4.34% - I swear the 1.5%'ers now literally don't know they're born! Our deals always allowed 10% of the capital in OP's over the year - although it was only the last few years we started troubling that at all. Our method was the "money we didn't know we had" route - so each and every time we made a saving on a utility bill, decided against a takeaway or even found money in the street it was transferred to a savings account that we named "Mortgage overpayment pot" - (the account still exists and is now named "The account formally known as..." ) then transferred across every time there was a suitable amount to do so. We also increased the monthly payment a tiny bit at a time, and made sure that the two months "off" council tax & water rates got transferred over too. It all felt like tiny weeny little steps, but added up to the mortgage being gone in 13 years rather than the original term of 25. It's really hard when your product actually makes it harder to overpay I think - that's something I'd always warn people to be careful about when choosing, now. 

girlatplay

I think I found this site in around 2007 and first joined in 2008, if memory serves correctly (which it doesn't always these days - thanks peri menopause).  I had had my lightbulb moment and was coming to the end of my consumer debt. I have come so far since then.  I think some people just live their lives without thinking about their finances.

We had a discussion one time about buying things on credit (he has) and he said he didn't think he was in debt because he could afford to make the monthly payments.  He just doesn't seem to get it.  Don't get me wrong, he can afford the monthly payments and he doesn't go crazy, doesn't have a massive amount of debt, but he doesn't have much back up if things were to go wrong with his income. He just plods along making the normal monthly payments and doesn't think about overpaying.  Get your loan. Pay it off over the agreed time.  Own the item at the end.  Get another loan. Do the same.  The circle goes on.  His ex wife is a spender.  Always has to have the best of the best.  He pandered to her and gave her whatever she wanted.  He bailed her out of cc debt so many times.  I think it altered his attitude to money too but not for the better.

I used to be like that, you got your mortgage, paid it for 25 years then owned your property at the end of the term.  There is nothing wrong with that at all but for me now it's a competition with myself.  How much sooner can I pay it off? How much can I save in interest?

I just typed a big, ranty post about bf and his financial beliefs but I read it back and it was extremely boring.  So the upshot is, if we ever live together our finances will be separate.  I'll worry about mortgage overpayments at the time, if the situation arises.

I'm painting him in a bad light.  He's a great guy, he has a very kind heart, my family love him (we have known each other since I was 17) and we are very happy.  We just have different views on money.

girlatplay

joedenise said:

Absolutely agree @EssexHebridean.  

The difference for us was that when we got our first mortgage we were aged 40 and knew we wanted the mortgage gone before retirements however the mortgage we had was fixed at 14%!  (1990 rates) and we could only overpay in lumps of £1,000 and we just didn't seem to be able to get those extra lumps together.  With hindsight I wish we had used the Tilly Tidy method ad saved in a separate account rather than trying to save in our current account!

Eventually we changed our mortgage to one where we could pay however much we wanted whenever we wanted and it was at that point we were able to start reducing the mortgage!  We had an interest only mortgage because that was what was advised at the time and we just couldn't afford to change to a repayment mortgage.  We did manage to pay off the mortgage a few months early and have some money left from the Endowment Policy but do wish we'd started with a repayment mortgage and not got ourselves into the muddle we did.

Still everything is OK now and we have both retired and managing OK without debt!

This is really good to hear.  You obviously figured it out along the way.


Really interesting discussion for me, thank you both @EssexHebridean and @joedenise

savingholmes

I think as long as you protect your assets and keep your £ separate GAP then that's all you can do - other than gently try and steer him down a new path. For my Ex - his motivator was early retirement or having FU money to be able to jack his job if he wanted. That helped motivate him to cut back so we could clear debt more quickly. Perhaps you've not found the right 'button' yet?

girlatplay

Maybe I haven't found the right button because I don't need to right now.  The amount he earns and spends does not directly, or even indirectly, affect me.  I guess I'll worry about it if that changes.  Until then I'll keep doing my Tilly Tidies, photographing my (and his 😆) receipts and budgeting for the groceries.

savingholmes

Sounds like a plan

EssexHebridean

Completely agree GAP - and who knows, over time your MSE ways might even rub off!

girlatplay

Just realised I haven't posted this week's meal plan.

Last night we had bacon & butternut squash risotto.  It was delicious and I have leftovers for lunch today.

Creamy rigatoni (left from last week's plan)
Crispy chicken with chilli & chive sauce
Pork & apple burger
Spicy creamy cajun chicken pasta

LMG is out with friends for dinner tonight.  There is loads of veg so I think I'll make soup and have that for my tea.  There will be plenty left for some lunches.

That just leaves one day that we haven't planned for.  We do have potatoes so could end up having the baked tatties that we didn't have last week.  That is a definite possibility.

LMG used to be vegetarian but will now eat chicken, ham and sometimes some bacon but refuses to eat anything else in the meat department.  She chose the pork burgers.  I was very surprised but she tells me that she doesn't like the texture of beef but would be happy to eat pork mince and turkey mince.   I give up trying to figure it out.  I'll stick to what I know and if she wants to change things then that's fine.  To be fair, she does the majority of the cooking now and I just eat what she makes.