Debt time to face up

DawnW

Please don't think like this. Contact the Samaritans if you need to. Your family love and need you. The debt can be dealt with.
https://www.samaritans.org/

OnlyPariah

Caperboy wrote: »

May be the only option dawn and I am at peace

Your family would not be. This is only money, at the end of the day. It's unsecured debt so the house is not at risk.

Please try not to think like this and contact the Samaritans if you need to.

You need to do a SOA so we can see where all the costs are going and offer the best advice. https://www.lemonfool.co.uk/financecalculators/soa.php and format for MSE then paste here.

mumtoomany

Two years ago I had a great friend who took her life, she had suffered from mental health problems her whole life. Yes she is at peace now, but her husband and son were, are still, devastated. As are her extended family and friends. She has left a huge, unfillable hole. Please, for the sake of your loved ones, do not take your life. How would your wife manage to care for your child/children only only one wage? Would she be able to manage to even work after such a loss? The problem you have is ONLY money, there is a solution, just take the advice of all the wonderful people here. Go and find your family now, give them all a big hug. You can get through this. Wishing you all a good Christmas, take care, Mumtoomany.

lindens

Have you shared your debt worries with your wife? Does she know about the (now under control) gambling? A problem shared is a problem halved. She maybe cross to begin with but i'm sure she'll soon be on your side and two heads are better than one.
We certainly can help on here, but need a bit more info. Collect together all your statements for the last 6 months and write down what you owe, to whom and what the interest rates are. The complete an HONEST SOA, post it here and then we can start with our suggestions. It's not going to be easy, but you'll be back in control and believe me, that's half the battle and you will feel more positive just for that.

Willing2Learn

Caperboy wrote: »

If I want to a quarry a swim. There could be an accident.

Does my debt die with me. It’s all unsecured

You came here for help with your debts. There will be workable solutions to your circumstances. You just need some space to breath. Please post your SOA so that we can give you advice, guidance and support.

BillEatsCrisps

Try the StepChange website. There is a debt management tool which is often the first step. If they suggest you get rid of virgin media and cut down your food bill by £6 a month, I would have thought that’s a small thing to do to then get this sorted. No one *needs* WiFi, it is a want which you can go without for a while to get out of this situation I am sure.

The debt management tool will suggest your options, whether that be DMP, IVA or bankruptcy.

Good luck with it and let us know how you get on

Oh and no - debts do not automatically die with you

Exodi

I would try make a DMP, write to all the creditors and ask they freeze interest and setup a payment plan.

It's only money and it's all unsecured, make sure you're paying the mortgage and the crucial bills and pay what you can.

You'll be more than fine.

onwards&upwards

It’s only money, it is not worth your life, or your mental health.

If you can’t afford to pay it back, then you can’t. There are no debtor’s prisons anymore and the lenders know that a certain percentage of people will struggle to pay back what they owe and they account for that in the interest rates they charge so tha5 they still make a profit.

As a fellow former gambler, you have done the hardest thing and stopped, that’s an amazing achievement! Well done and keep up that great work. The debt is just a side issue that can be sorted.

Stick around, you’ll get great help here.

username901

As above it's only money. And it wasn't even your money you lost, let the banks worry about that. It's unsecured, they can't take what you don't have.

I'd stop paying every debt off, wait for them to default (won't take long with no payments coming in) and then look to setup a payment plan with as lower payment as possible. In the mean time you build up an emergency fund in a new bank ac if needed and savings, spend time with the family, and then in a few years time approach the DCAs with an offer of payment at a significant discount as a starting position.

Good luck.

clairebeth

Hello,

Just checking in on you. I notice you were last active on here at 0950 on the 23rd, at which point you were obviously in a pretty dark place.

I hope you and your family have had a nice Christmas together?

Please please talk to someone about how you are feeling. Your wife, a friend, the samaritans? A problem shared, truly, is a problem halved.

There IS a way out of this. People on this forum can guide you. If you do nothing else, have a look at some of the success stories in the Debt Free Diaries. That might help to spur you on and feel a bit more positive about your situation. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel.

I absolutely assure you that your family want YOU, not the money. Debt can be temporary, death is not.

Please please ask for help, either here or elsewhere.

All the very best to you.