Help please

shez1987

Hello, new to here again this time I've had an emotional breakdown (not a mental one) due to spiraling finances. I let slip to a friend how bad our situation is, she enforced me to ring step change for advice which ended up a 2hr phone call going thru everything and many tears shed! For many months I've been telling oh cant keep doing this studying full time and working practically fulltime on top making no ends meet. Anyway after an emotional day I broke down to him and said I'm cutting my hours coz i cant keep doing it not fair on me, him or the kids. Please bear in mind oh works 48hours a week too. We have lost quality family time, us time and single person time and it cant carry on. Sorry for a very mixed post here. Need some advise before I cancel dd and start a dmp please

Willing2Learn

shez1987 wrote: »

Hello, new to here again this time I've had an emotional breakdown (not a mental one) due to spiraling finances. I let slip to a friend how bad our situation is, she enforced me to ring step change for advice which ended up a 2hr phone call going thru everything and many tears shed! For many months I've been telling oh cant keep doing this studying full time and working practically fulltime on top making no ends meet. Anyway after an emotional day I broke down to him and said I'm cutting my hours coz i cant keep doing it not fair on me, him or the kids. Please bear in mind oh works 48hours a week too. We have lost quality family time, us time and single person time and it cant carry on. Sorry for a very mixed post here. Need some advise before I cancel dd and start a dmp please

Hi, sorry to read about your current difficulties. You need to start yourself a new thread. Then you can post up your Statement of Affairs (SOA) in your thread, so that we can see your exact circumstances.

sourcrates

Moved to new thread.

Andyjflet

shez1987 wrote: »

Hello, new to here again this time I've had an emotional breakdown (not a mental one) due to spiraling finances. I let slip to a friend how bad our situation is, she enforced me to ring step change for advice which ended up a 2hr phone call going thru everything and many tears shed! For many months I've been telling oh cant keep doing this studying full time and working practically fulltime on top making no ends meet. Anyway after an emotional day I broke down to him and said I'm cutting my hours coz i cant keep doing it not fair on me, him or the kids. Please bear in mind oh works 48hours a week too. We have lost quality family time, us time and single person time and it cant carry on. Sorry for a very mixed post here. Need some advise before I cancel dd and start a dmp please

Post your details on an SOA and take it from there, I work 60 hours a week in my Monday to Friday job and then 16 hours in another job at weekends, I do it because the money is needed. 48 hours a week doesnt sound that much in reality.

EssexHebridean

** Can this thread not turn into a competition over who does the most hours - that really won't help the OP at all! All sorts of things can make a difference to what is an "OK" amount of hours for one person to work, and what is OK for one individual will not be at all OK for someone else! Studying full time and running a pretty much full time job aside does really sound quite consuming, and if someone is trying to look after children, run a house etc at the same time then that may well be "too much" to cope with, particularly if the significant other in the partnership is also working a significant number of hours. **

Shez - as others have said sort your SOA out and post it in here and lets take a look and see if we can help you find a way forwards.

Andyjflet

EssexHebridean wrote: »

** Can this thread not turn into a competition over who does the most hours - that really won't help the OP at all! All sorts of things can make a difference to what is an "OK" amount of hours for one person to work, and what is OK for one individual will not be at all OK for someone else! Studying full time and running a pretty much full time job aside does really sound quite consuming, and if someone is trying to look after children, run a house etc at the same time then that may well be "too much" to cope with, particularly if the significant other in the partnership is also working a significant number of hours. **

Shez - as others have said sort your SOA out and post it in here and lets take a look and see if we can help you find a way forwards.

Its a valid point IMO, one way of extracting yourself from debt is to increase your income, half of the boards on here are populated with discussion on increasing income, my point is that by doing more hours then you will have more money to channel towards debt.

EssexHebridean

Where incomes CAN be increased, then yes of course it's valid - however that isn't possible in all circumstances, beyond possibly online surveys and similar done in "down time". Personal physical and mental wellbeing MUST come first, and quite honestly 7 day a week working with little or no time for relaxation is going to take its toll on anyone, eventually. In some cases it is better to slow the pace of debt-busting a little to prioritise health.

As a nation we have got very good at seeing "working all the hours possible" as a good thing - almost as a badge of honour - when in fact the opposite can be very much true.

Socajam

EssexHebridean wrote: »

Where incomes CAN be increased, then yes of course it's valid - however that isn't possible in all circumstances, beyond possibly online surveys and similar done in "down time". Personal physical and mental wellbeing MUST come first, and quite honestly 7 day a week working with little or no time for relaxation is going to take its toll on anyone, eventually. In some cases it is better to slow the pace of debt-busting a little to prioritise health.

As a nation we have got very good at seeing "working all the hours possible" as a good thing - almost as a badge of honour - when in fact the opposite can be very much true.

Your last paragraph makes a valid point.
Also people need to start differentiating between a "NEED" and a "WANT. Start living within your means and ensure that you have that emergency and life happens funds.
For some people this is hard, but life is about choices. Christmas is coming, but little Johnny does not need more than one "gift" if you can hardly afford it.
The amount of people going into debt for one day is not worth it. January is a long month, cold and dreary, and factor in when you have broke, enough said.
Maybe this is something they should start teaching in schools otherwise we are in for an explosion that will affects all of us, even the money savvy ones.
Going forward the OP need to ensure that his health is his #1 priority, but at the same time, sit down and get a clear picture of his debt, spending, savings etc. Make this his 2020 resolution.
I know exactly what debt does to your mental health, been there done it and I made the conscious decision to live within my means because tossing and turning at night time is not how I need to spend my sleeping hours.