Is it mean to say no more pressy's?

frogga

Hi Guys,

I really want to cut back on pressy's this year as we are skint. We don't buy for our Brothers and Sisters or their children , just our parents and our own tadpoles.

We also buy for our friends children. Mr Frog and I got married v young and had our family soon after. Our friends were all single at the time with cash on the hip and bought pressys for both our tadpoles. Now they are all married with children of their own so we buy pressys for those children as they always have done for ours.

But we really can't affoard to do it. I also feel bad buying for those children who I really hardly know at all , when I don't even buy for my sister or niece and nephew.

Mr Frog says it's really tight to not buy for our friends children as they have bought for ours for the last 12 years. I do see his point. We were all really close once , but now we all have our own lives and only see each other once a year at Christmas. I don't know their wives or children , yet buy them a pressy.

I don't want to offend. Mr Frog and I have known these friends since school and it feels like we are not paying them back for all the money they've spent on my two over the years.

Shall I just get tehm something anyway? Or speek to them and try and call it a day?

dannahaz

Be up front about whatever you decide to do, and if this involves not buying presents tell the others NOW, before they've gone out and bought. Let the parents know that this year you'd prefer it if you didn't exchange pressies for the kids.

If you feel mean about not buying pressies, then why not buy a cheap choc selection pack for each child, or a Terrys Choc Orange, or similar. Or a small box of Roses for the kids to share. Again, let the parents know in advance that that is what you are planning to do.

In my experience, it's only a problem if you don't let people know in advance.

cookie54

we are in the same boat as you and i mentioned to a friend that i couldnot believe the amount of presents we were getting for our two at xmas compared to birthday and suggested would they like to spend a bit more on birthdays and not at xmas . EVERY ONE AGREEDl. so it might be worth suggesting that for next christmas ..

Crazychik

Hiya

I do the same as Cookie, rather than buy at Christmas, I buy for birthdays, as they tend to be scattered through out the year!
The amount of presents kids gets anyway, they dont tend to notice the smaller gifts at Xmas and are usually forgotten about or goes to the bottom of the pile. Birthday is a time when I know my kids appreciate more gifts!

Like Dannahaz says, its best to mention it now. Just simply say to them, can we exchange gifts at birthday's rather than Xmas time!

Pink.

Hi frogga,

I'll move your thread over to the Christmas board where you should get more replies.

Pink

jembie

I would go with dannahaz suggestion of a selction box or maybe a big tin of sweets between them. I am sure your friends will understand.
In our market you can get 3 decent selection boxes for a fiver.

I am sort of in the same boat in that I have a lot of friends who were single when my children were little and used to spoil them but now that they have kids of their own I just don't have the cash to return the favour

frogga

Cheers Pinky xx

I think I will definitly say enough is enough then. I understand what you are saying about buying for Birthdays instead and in normal circumstances I think that would be a good idea. It sounds bad to say this , but we have all lost touch so much that I have no idea when their birthdays are. I struggled earlier to remember their names!:o

I think that is why it seems so silly. We have all moved on in our lives and have really lost touch. I expect they will be quite happy to say stop as well.

Thanks for all the advice:D

Heva2015

Could you and your friends do a secret santa type thing? Each family only buy for one other family.

melancholly

i'd also say it gets to be 'time to stop' when you have teenagers - if it's been 12 years already, it's getting to the point where a stranger will really struggle to buy anything that a teenager would want anyway!

if you don't know the kids names or the birthdays, if they get annoyed (unfairly in my opinion!) at the suggestion of cancelling the presents, what will you have lost anyway? they're clearly not close friends of yours so i'd just tell them. i'd guess they'd be happy at the suggestion, but if not, it's not too much of a loss if you only ever get in touch once a year at the moment anyway.

maypole

Don't worry, they will probably be relieved too, it's just that no one likes to be the first one to say it. As long as it is put nicely, people do understand.

Going through the motions of buying presents just because you feel obliged, is not pleasurable at all.

inkie

I have just been wrapping up the prezzies for our kids. The amount that people get these days is ridiculous. I doubt that they would bat an eyelid at the thought of you not getting them anything. Have a word, I am sure that they will understand.