Finally hit rock bottom.

Ejsmiley333

Have been a previous member before but can not remember my details. But considering the point that i have got too i may as well start afresh with a new profile.

So today the 1st of december and with 29 days to go to our wedding i finally realised the financial mess i am in! The wedding was literally the icing on the cake.

So ill try to keep this as short as possible. Theres me dear fiance, ds 5, ds 7 and dd baby. We had our 1st baby rather young and since then ive been the part time worker/mummy housekeeer. My fiance is and always has been a full time worker! My problems started as soon as ds was born. Being young our finances werent discussed nor shared. This meant i started that chain of using credit. Overdraft turned into credit card then shifted to new 0% credit card plus catelogues until finally i made the stupidest decision to solidate that all into one lovely loan!!! And as many on here would say ... it was the worst decision to make! Because of course i have it and even more back onto my cards and catelogues!
But hold on, did i mention i was getting married! Yes your right, thinking back i can not remember how or why we ever came to that decision in the 1st place. It probably was me on one of my many miserable evenings trying to console myself!
So far, my fiance has been oblivious to all of this. When i first met him he didnt even have a bank account so all the finance malarky he's not clued up on and ive tried my best to keep it that way. I literally transfer an amount from his bank to our joint bank account and thats how the household runs or so he thinks.He tries to save some money in his account as he earns 4x more than me and i have continued to borrow more and ruin my credit rating through sheer embarassment and shame.
And basically now im stuck on maternity leave, with our wedding at the end of this month for which i need 3k. Plus the fact that weve no savings left for unexpected bills or purchases. And after christmas i must return to work and be saddled with nursery fees.
My breakdown came tonight before my partner came home when i realised id 50 quid left in our joint account to support us for the rest of the month. For the last few weeks id been walking on tenderhooks because whenever people mentioned money or our wedding i literally felt the anxiety starting. But i knew i had to tell him... and i did. Only half of my anxiety has gone, i know i should have told him the specifics of my debt but he was too cross and disappointed about our joint account. I think i may broach that subject another day. But for now i need a plan... and its gonna be the plan i dread. And the one that will tip me over the edge from the shame and embarassment of cancelling the wedding.
In the mean time ill get an soa done and slowly but surely make a start to this mess. After today i knew i needed another outlet for this as ive bottled all of these secrets from everyone. So heres to a hopefully happier journey for me!!

Willing2Learn

Ejsmiley333 wrote: »

...Have been a previous member before but can not remember my details. But considering the point that i have got too i may as well start afresh with a new profile...

...So heres to a hopefully happier journey for me!!

Just quickly dropped by to say hi and to wish you well on your debt-busting journey. (Don't forget to come back with your soa)

monetxchange

Hello and welcome. Congratulations on taking the first step and posting here. That’s a big one.

It’ll help to see your SOA, but a couple of things to mention - if you’re very tight this month, look on the old style money saving board for super frugal ways to stretch a small food budget. You also mention nursery fees if you return to work - try to look into what you’re entitled to in terms of free childcare hours when you get a second. Might be better than you imagine.

I’m assuming you don’t have the £3k saved for the wedding? It might be the case that making a decision to cancel would be better taken sooner rather than later. Rip the plaster off. That way you’re giving plenty of notice to people. Many are struggling this time of year and I honestly think most will understand. If they don’t, they’re not people you need in your life.

Good luck 😊

enthusiasticsaver

Have you already paid deposits on your wedding which you will lose if you don't go ahead? Can you cut back at all? Ideally you should cancel as you obviously cannot afford a wedding this month but it depends on what sort of financial penalty you will incur. The best solution would be to sort your finances out and save for the wedding.

You have to go cold turkey on the borrowing if you are going to sort this out. Can you make minimum payments or are you turning to credit to get you through the month? If so, you may need to look at some sort of radical debt solution.

Davy_Jones_II

Don’t panic, there’s a route out of your situation, but it will take some effort and planning.

It sounds like it’d be very sensible to cancel any aspect of the wedding that still has a cost to pay, or on which you could get a refund, and go to a registry office then home, as you haven’t the money for anything else.

Next, have you anything that you can sell, and can either of you find weekend or evening work?
You should fill out a full statement of affairs and post it here, so that people can give you the most appropriate advice.