Finally Facing Up to our Debt

miss_jelly

Hi everyone,

I have been lurking on these forums on and off for several years but have finally decided to take the plunge and join. I have never been that great with money - I am definitely a spender over a saver but the last couple of years have seen a number of changes in circumstances which have resulted in myself and my husband being in quite a bit of debt.

There are a number of reasons for our debt - we got married this September, my husband started a new business with his brother last year and I quit my well paid job in the summer due to mental health reasons - all of which have been slowly adding to our credit card debts. I'm by no means trying to excuse our spending behaviour - we have spent the money and we now need to pay it back but I guess I want to give a bit of context as to how we ended up here.

We're in a somewhat fortunate position that my husband earns a good salary for his full time job and I am now working again (albeit part time) so we have funds available to start chipping away at the credit cards. It also happens that with my husband's job and his business there are times where we receive large cash injections to our finances.

However I have come to realise over the last month or so that we vastly outspend our income each month which means that we are constantly treading water. And I want this to stop.

I want us to clear our credit cards and start living within our means. So I have made the decision to face our finances head on and make changes to how we spend. I am sitting down tonight to go through all our finances - to see what our outgoings are and what we actually owe.

Having followed these forums sporadically over the years I know there is so much good information and tips available here. I think for me the main thing I want from this thread is to keep myself accountable. And to share the highs and the lows as none of our family or friends really know the true extent of our credit card debts.

I think even if no-one reads haha this then just having somewhere we can I put down my thoughts will help keep me on track.

I will pop back on once I have fully digested our current situation and will also share the action plan that I am going to put in place.

So thanks for taking the time to read to the very end of this very long post

Look forward to (hopefully!) sharing my journey with some of you.

MJ x

[Deleted User]

Good luck on your journey x

miss_jelly

So I've just sat down with the husband (as he now needs to be in London tonight) and we have gone through both our bank accounts and credit cards. It's a scary number we are currently at but weirdly I feel calmer knowing all the facts. I think truthfully we have both been burying our heads in the sand but having sat down together to talk through it all and agree that we want to clear these debts feels like the first step in a positive direction.

For no particular reason we have never got a joint account and our credit cards are separate so we use the cards in my name for our personal spends and the cards in his name are used for his business uses. So seeing all the numbers in one place is a little shocking.

As I alluded to in my previous post, my husband started a second company last year in the property industry so a lot of our credit card debt has gone towards the start up costs and cash flow of this new business. Which thankfully is now starting to make profit so the aim is to now start drawing income back from this to pay off the credit cards.

That said I can't keep blaming all our spending on the business. We have also been completely overspending each month.

I've been thinking about this over the last week or so and I really am an emotional spender. I spend when I am happy and I especially spend when I am sad or feeling down about myself. I also mindlessly spend. On everything - whether that is clothes, toiletries, food, socialising. I don't think about what things cost. Which I am ashamed to admit now.

I think seeing the cold, hard facts in the form on my master spreadsheet has given me the kick I needed to say enough is enough. I have downloaded Yolt to try and start tracking our spends across all our accounts - truthfully neither of us know what we spend our money on each month.

I have also downloaded last month's credit card transactions and split them out to see what we spent where. I am embarrassed to say around £400 on takeaways and going out!

So as you can see I am starting to look at where we can make savings and reduce our outgoings. For all our bills I have recently renewed or switched so we are now on the best possible deals.

I need to look at my mobile phone contract as I think I may still be in contract but if not I am going to see if I can get a better deal.

My head feels so full of things I want to tackle and honestly I do love a challenge so I am almost approaching this as a challenge - to see how much money I can save and how much we can start paying off the credit cards.

Sorry for another long post - think I am just trying to get all my thoughts out in one go haha!

MJ x

miss_jelly

Happy Friday everyone! Well it isn't raining and I can even see blue skies as I write this which is rather nice!

I've spent the last couple of days updating our spreadsheet with all our figures so the true extent of our credit card debt is now in one place. And whilst that number is higher than I think we both thought I must admit it is a relief to have finally faced up to it and to have it all clear in our heads.

I think sometimes the fear of the unknown is worse than the actual facts. I have been subconsciously worrying over our credit cards for probably the last 12 months but have been in denial about the extent of our debt. Whereas now that I know exactly what we have spent and what we owe I feel weirdly calm. I guess it's because I am fully in control of it now and have a plan to start reducing them... Whatever it is - I feel more in control of our finances than I have done in a long time.

Since coming back from our honeymoon (which all went on credit cards...) I have been making some small changes to reduce our outgoings. These include:

• Joining our local library - I love reading and would think nothing about ordering books online but I have now rediscovered the joy of borrowing
• Started doing our food shopping in-store - I used to do it online and order pretty much the same things each week. Now I look at what we have and what we need to make a certain number of meals and then I just buy those items.
• Heating - I am being super strict on when our heating is on and simply adding more layers - my husband would happily sit in a t-shirt & shorts all year round so this is a constant battle between us and the thermostat - I think at the minute I am winning!
• Equally - I have been keeping an eye out with our supplier and have seen they do reward schemes so have signed up for these as you get certain amounts of free heating days which will come in handy
• Clothes shopping - other than buying a pair of trousers to replace an old pair that had worn through I haven't bought a single thing since August - which for me is a big deal!

I know these are relatively small things but the fact I am even conscious of these things is a big step towards reducing our outgoings. And the sense of satisfaction I am getting from not spending money is really a big deal for me as normally I would enjoy the process of spending money and not even think about where it was coming from.

MJ x

miss_jelly

Today has been a fairly productive day, myself and a friend walked to the local post office to post an item I had just sold online before popping to return my library books. We then headed back to mine where I cooked us lunch.

Pre wedding this would of been a much different day - probably involving shopping and lunch out!

I have been making some slow success with selling old clothes and accessories online which I am very pleased about. In the past I would of donated my old clothes to friends and family before taking it to a charity shop. Now even if I am just making a couple of £'s for each item - it is more than I would of got previously and it's quite nice seeing my Paypal account build up a stash. Another small step towards reducing our outgoings and increasing our debt repayments.

I also managed to pay £80 off one of our credit cards. I check my bank account daily now and by updating my spreadsheet I found I had some surplus money left after all my bills so it was quite good being able to put that against our dreaded Amex.

From having read a number of threads here I have also signed up to some survey sites but I must admit I still don't see how you can make so much money from them - if anyone has any tips or advice that would be much appreciated!

Anyways I'm going to make myself a peppermint tea and watch an old Marple - speak soon x

Blackcats

Didn't want to read and run.
You sound like you have got the right mindset to tackle your debts.
I am finally debt free but I know that I am still a spender at heart so I stay on these boards to keep me motivated and accountable.
Lots of little changes, consistently applied made the difference for me.
There are really knowledgeable and supportive people here to help.
Good luck,

savingholmes

Hi MJ

Congrats on making a start. You will get there - just keep going.

miss_jelly

Morning!

Thanks Blackcats and savingholmes for your kind words of encouragement. Hope you both had a good weekend?

Just popping on before I head out - I'm off to give blood before catching up with an old work friend who has just had a little baby boy. Hoping for a fairly low spend day - need to pay postage for another eBay sale but apart from that I shouldn't need anything else.

We did a big food shop yesterday as we seemed to have run out of lots of things - it always seems to be that way doesn't it? Groceries is one area that I want to try and reduce our spends on - there is only 2 of us but in the past we would struggle to keep it under £80 a week. Ideally I'd like to try and get it down to £50p/w.

As I said I have now switched to actually going in to store which I find is better as I can see the offers and discounts rather than when I shopped online as I would just duplicate my order each week. I also now run our cupboards, fridge & freezer down so only buy things when we need them.

A few months ago I did a huge kitchen clear out and found I had 12 bags of ground almonds!! I kept picking them up as I use them sometimes in baking and before I knew it I had ground almonds coming out from everywhere!

We are also slowly reducing how much meat we eat each week and I try now to only buy meat from the YS section - being a bit more conscious of what we are eating each day and what needs to be eaten up first.

I have found that also switching to own brand is helping - we try different things and see whether we can tell the difference - 9 times out of 10 we can't so we then stay with those items. I did try an own brand washing detergent but as I have very sensitive skin it really didn't agree with me so we have now just gone back to good old Fairy - however we have switched to the loose powder rather than the tablets as it seems to be a bit cheaper that way.

It feels like a really slow process but hopefully after a few more shops we will get to a point where we are closer to our target grocery spend. It's hard because I don't want to feel like we are depriving ourselves - especially as I really enjoy cooking - however my main aim is to try and not waste any food and be more conscious of what we are buying and when.

Anyways I better dash - hope everyone is having a productive start to their week!

MJ x

Lemon_Tree

Well done starting to tackle the debt, I'm back here for the second time so will subscribe in the hope we can keep each other motivated

miss_jelly

Well it's been one of those days where I don't know where the time has gone! Possibly not that productive but still a low spend day so that's good.

I went to give blood this morning but unfortunately I have been deferred for the time being as my iron count is too low. I must admit I was pretty upset at the time as I felt a bit silly - I don't like wasting people's time and I had built it up that I was giving blood today so to be told I wasn't able to did give me a bit of a wobble. But I know they have these guidelines in place to protect everyone so I can't dwell on it.

Whilst in town I did manage to pick up a dear friend's Christmas present today for the grand sum of £2! I was killing time before my appointment so thought I would pop into £Land for a bit of a mooch. I came across these two lovely cactus shaped vases which I just know my friend will love - the best bit was they were a £1 each but they look like they cost so much more.

I also picked up 2 picture frames for a £1 each - I have been looking for some square picture frames as I have the cards that myself and my husband gave to each other on our wedding morning that I wanted to frame. I've been looking all over and not found anything that a) I like or b) isn't stupid money so I am really pleased to have picked these up. And for less than a fiver!

The best bit was I paid cash as I sold something on FB Marketplace yesterday - it feels good to not be using our CC's where possible.

I also didn't need to buy any lunch when I was out so apart from those two buys and a large letter stamp to post an eBay sale I haven't spent anything else.

I've also done a bit of a mid month account check and we are still on track with all our payments and I am hoping if things stay as they should we should have another £50-70 to pay off the CC's before next pay day. I am leaving it in my account for the moment as a bit of buffer but if nothing crops up then it will be winging it's way over to a CC!

Right - I'm off to iron the sheets for our bed before starting on dinner - nothing beats fresh bed sheets at the start of the week!

xx

miss_jelly

Lemon_Tree wrote: »

Well done starting to tackle the debt, I'm back here for the second time so will subscribe in the hope we can keep each other motivated

Thanks for joining me Lemon Tree - I don't know about you but having somewhere to share the journey is really helping keep me on track!

Hope you've had a good and productive start to the week!

xx