IVA vrs real cutting back

cantfindanamenotin

Hi all thanks
Partner needs to work more! I went back to work very early with my second child as I had the better earning potential, but he hasn't really got his act together since the children are in full-time. Mobiles are both our phones and to be honest I'm so annoyed because they are fairly new contracts. All the car stuff covers him driving the kids about, and getting to wherever he is working, I try and get the bus mainly which is why there is the other cost.electricity and gas are duel fuel but yeah they are high and I need to look at switching. The landline /broadband expires in November so I am gonna switch right down as I have a stupid package I don't need (like free international calls despite never ever calling international in my life). I will jump over contents insurance at the minute, I know we need it but I need to tackle this first. 17.99 is Netflix and audible , I cancelled audible today (I will work up to Netflix but I just love it and don't have sky). I also discovered when I was looking at the tiny spends (little 3.99 transactions) that I was also signed up to HayU, Starzplay (both 3.99) and kids fire kindle app (1.99 - despite not owning a kindle in at least a year). Plus we changed car insurers at the beginning of this month and the old car insurers took payment (when it had been cancelled). I know this isn't much in the scheme, but if my partner pulls his socks up and I looks at all the money that's has slowly been trickling away we may be able to do this. I used the snowball calculator and am gonna try and follow that to deal with the debts, if it's impossible I will do a DMP I have read some diaries on here that are really inspiring and I also watched a YouTube video with a man explaining why not to get an IVA (basically I don't really have assets that need protecting etc ). There is alot of potential here (alot more working from home to save bus money, my partner working, I can even probably get a second job at worst as my full-time hours are only 35 - holding off at the minute though as all this has really killed me mentally) . In terms of UC we are entitled to a small amount BUT years ago we got working tax credits I was religious in reporting changes in pay hours, and it was all great until an overpayment letter arrived. We paye sir off but it really put me off, actually very recently I took part in a study by a leading charity that was looking at people who may be entitled to UC but won't claim. I really would rather my partner work more then claim.

cantfindanamenotin

* please though don't want to go down the 'kick him out" road. Every relationship is unique and bare in mind if I was male Nd it was a women earning we would just be looking at if she could earn more, nobody would dream of saying kick her out. We have had some serious talks this week. I have been very secretive about finances and because I used to be much better it's all been a bit of a shock to him.

JayRitchie

If your partner earned £12,000 a year you would clear the debts in the year. Could he work a nightshift? Long weekend shifts? Drive the evening shift in a truck? All these might help avoid childcare costs and you'd only have to tough it out for 12 months.

cantfindanamenotin

Yes definitely . He has gone for it on the applications since this all came to a head. So we are hopeful. I think it's gonna be hard but if I follow the "snowball" plan we can possibly get out of this maybe without a DMP. When I got InTouch with the IVA practitioner it was on advice of my brother. The IVA company made everything feel so so tight like I couldn't breathe and that the IVA was the only way out. I can see a light now get some of my bills down and also see if I can get some bits on eBay etc, change where I shop.
I can see so many people on different boards that have been through it and absolutely wiped chunks off their debt and I am gonna do the same.

monetxchange

cantfindanamenotin wrote: »

* please though don't want to go down the 'kick him out" road. Every relationship is unique and bare in mind if I was male Nd it was a women earning we would just be looking at if she could earn more, nobody would dream of saying kick her out. We have had some serious talks this week. I have been very secretive about finances and because I used to be much better it's all been a bit of a shock to him.

I've never found that kind of attitude on here (not like some other unnamed boards!) Nobody wants to see you end a relationship over a bit of debt that you can manage together. It is great though that you've been able to have a serious sit down together about this.

Like you said yourself, your partner not taking shifts so you can save £15 on a breakfast/after school club etc is a false economy. A couple of hundred quid a month income isn't enough to support one person, let alone contribute to a partner and a child. Hopefully this will be a good kick up the backside moment. It's crazy for you to be considering taking an evening job while your partner could very well work a daytime job alongside yours. Time to get strict with them!

It will all be positive in the long run! Make sure you check if you'll be entitled to more in terms of benefits/childcare if your partner does start working more full time hours.

warby68

Did your partner think you were better off than you are because of your 'secrecy' and was coasting and enjoying the childcare, largely stay at home lifestyle because he thought it was financially ok?

OR is he lazy, looking not to contribute other than the bare minimum?

No answer expected but you have hinted more at the first one so we can give him the benefit of the doubt for now.

Your numbers really show that all you need is a few hundred quid extra income and the debt can be eradicated quite quickly and without any formal solutions. Your family income is low if both parties are able to earn so that is the number one problem (to my mind).

Plus you CAN manage for the time it takes partner to up the income - lots of scope for little savings and you are meeting your repayments.

As well as more income, the next thing you need to build is YOUR confidence. For whatever reasons, you have lost a bit of control and as a result don't have belief in your own financial skills. A numpty brother and a hard sell IVA company haven't helped you. Take some time to look at the diaries section - you can see you're not in dire dire straights, the numbers are manageable and you can do it all yourself.

Good luck

fatbelly

cantfindanamenotin wrote: »

. In terms of UC we are entitled to a small amount BUT years ago we got working tax credits I was religious in reporting changes in pay hours, and it was all great until an overpayment letter arrived. We paye sir off but it really put me off, actually very recently I took part in a study by a leading charity that was looking at people who may be entitled to UC but won't claim. I really would rather my partner work more then claim.

You really should claim. Although the UC system gets really bad press, and you are right that large numbers are not claiming this when they should be - it's actually more accurate than the old tax credit system and less prone to overpayments.

If they find an old TC overpayment, they will deduct from UC but at least that's a debt that is getting paid off.

In your situation it should be worth several hundred pounds per month which, with a surplus of £102 on your soa, would make a huge difference.

If your partner earns more, it's a tapered deduction so there is always a net increase in income. Give it a try.

As a side thought, why are IVA pushers not doing a benefit check on their [STRIKE]victims [/STRIKE]clients? I think we know why.

enthusiasticsaver

From the sound of it then you can sort this without a formal debt solution. The debt is not massively high although obviously large in proportion to your income so that is the first thing you should both address. Why the secrecy around finances between you and your partner? I agree that it maybe sounds like he was not aware of the debt or at least the extent of it so has been coasting when really if the children are now school age he should be working to help get you out of debt.

Even if you have to pay some sort of wrap around childcare or after school club a few shifts will pay more than the cost and give you a few extra pounds each month. When I returned to work part time when my children were pre schoolers two thirds of my wages went to a childminder. There were no tax credits then or any help towards childcare and we had no family living nearby. It can be done and if you have debt then it should be.

As for kicking him out I don't think anyone would suggest that on this forum. This is not mumsnet where LTB is the goto response. Primarily we suggest ways to cut back or make more.

Mnd

In your situation the last thing I would be considering is taking on extra hours! You know that the answer is your partner getting proper income. If he is at home all day, then no food should be binned, and your grocery bill should be £100 lower than what it is, as he should be batch cooking, cooking from scratch and shopping to a plan. You also should not be doing any housework.

He should also be chasing better deals on utilities etc. He must have all day available.

I know this because I'm in his situation. I work 2 days but I am supposed to be retired! And I bring home £500 a month.

You seem to have got the right attitude now to your problems, but get him to help you. Don't take this on by yourself, it's not fair.

Why not start a diary on the appropriate board, so you can track your progress with our help and advice.

Good luck in sorting this out

enthusiasticsaver

A lot of people in debt watch the Dave Ramsey youtube videos for inspiration. He is American and he has a tendency to rant and he is religious but if you look past that his suggestions are sound. A lot of people on here follow the babysteps and have found it works for them. I have even watched a few myself even though I don't have debt and it is common sense with a heavy dose of financial reality for some.

A couple of caveats. He suggests paying off debts smallest to largest. MSE generally recommends most expensive debt first. Also if you have a pension I would not cancel that as he suggests to throw everything at the debt until it is repaid. I have seen too many people retire in dire poverty to think that is ever good advice and you miss out on employer contributions and the tax relief on your payments.

Fatbelly also makes a sound case for claiming UC if your partner does not up his hours quickly.