What's the best way to get rid of cold callers?

purpoise

I used to "blacklist" them.
Now I engage them.
It's fun to confuse them and agree to everything (except giving out Bank Details!) until you get passed up to someone with an American accent and then play really stupid.
E.G. Say that you are !!!!!!/retired, at any stage and create some confusion.
"How dare you call me retired, I am only 66./How dare you call me !!!!!!, I am only...."
Tell them anything, it's not as if they are earning an honest living!
Post you best stories here.

javentura

Caller "We heard you had an accident that wasn't your fault." My reply, "oh know it was completely my fault, I was responsible for everything." Caller hangs up.

gdmoney

Wrong thread. Reported to move to Chat.

thingamaBob

Send them a heater?

mjm3346

The BT callblocker thing seems to work well and I get less than 1 nuisance call a month - I certainly wouldn't waste my time engaging them when there are far more enjoyable and/or profitable things I could be doing with the time.

trueblonde

I ask them when it happened, as they should have the paperwork in front of them, but obviously that question is not in their script, also just leave the phone on the side by a radio or tv, they soon hang up, they are paying for the call not you

billy2shots

I like to flip reverse it and try to sell them double glazing windows.

paddyandstumpy

When I was about 17 a cold called called my parents landline trying to sell a conservatory.

I spent about 20 minutes on the phone going through all the options, letting him up sell me everything; then when he got excited and asked for our address so he could send a booker round to get contracts signed; I gave the first line of our address as 'the Penthouse'.

He was angry I didn't say we lived in a flat, (which we didn't!), I said "oh, I thought as you were calling us you knew we were at the top of a high rise"

Suffice to say say they didn't call back.


On another occasion we had a cold caller knock on the door and try and sell us a porch. I just said I'm already standing in one mate and slammed the door on him.


Nowadays when I get the "you've been in an accident" calls, I tell them "ah yes, you want paddyandstumpy, I'll just get him for you", and leave the phone on the table until they hang up.

#smallwins

mumto2boys

I kept getting the call about being in an accident, so I eventually told them that it was my 2 year old driving the car at the time, my cat who was a passenger suffered whiplash and how did I go about taking my 2 year old to court.

Also had a call to the landline for something one day so told them I wasn't the homeowner I had in fact just broken into the house and was trying to steal the telephone when it rang but I was willing to take a message.

Both times the caller did not find it as funny as I did

DigForVictory

Vicar's wife taught me "I'm terribly sorry, this is the vicarage, we don't own it". Shifted sellers of windows etc a treat.

Pal taught me " terribly sorry, the VAT are here". Cleared the line of Anyone not wholly certain their taxes were in order!

My favourite was also from the vicar's wife (& when I heard her I nearly dropped my teacup). In the most luridly lascivious tones "What'cha wearin'?"
(We used that one when family meals were interrupted - as a mixture of the unexpected verbal attack direct followed by a chorus of toddlers laughing did a brutal one-two to the caller's self-esteem....)

grannybiker

That accident...
"How do you know about that....Oh no... They promised nobody would ever know... Please tell no-one...!"
In a very dramatic, shouty way amid much wailing and calling for forgiveness.