Gambling debt

dan_wise

So I've got myself into a right mess with online gambling, a progressive and ultimately devastating addiction which over the past 8 years has gradually destroyed all of my savings and over the last year has been fuelled mostly by pay day loans.

The gambling issue is in the process of being tackled, but financially I'm in a very bad place with around £12.6k debt and a DMP looks about the best option with my job at least secure and bringing money in each month.

My main concern is one of the loans was taken out very recently and I am yet to make a single repayment, will they likely reject the DMP on that basis?

Also I live with my parents at this moment in time and am quite keen to keep a lid on the situation (I know, I know), are the default letters etc sent in discreet envelopes or will it be obvious what's inside?

So ashamed and mentally shot to pieces. Were there not a genuine want on my part to clear this debt to be sure I wasn't leaving it behind for my loved ones, I would end it all today.

sourcrates

dan_wise wrote: »

So I've got myself into a right mess with online gambling, an 8 year habit which has destroyed all of my savings and over the last year has been fuelled mostly by pay day loans - the gambling issue is in the process of being tackled, but financially I'm in a very bad place and a DMP looks about the best option with my job at least secure and bringing money in.

My main concern is one of the loans was taken out very recently and I am yet to make a single repayment, will they likely reject the DMP on that basis?

Also I live with my parents at this moment in time and am quite keen to keep a lid on the situation (I know, I know), are the default letters etc sent in discreet envelopes or will it be obvious what's inside?

So ashamed and mentally shot to pieces. Were there not a genuine want on my part to clear this debt to be sure I wasn't leaving it behind for my loved ones, I would end it all today.

Hi,

Talk like that is not healthy, debt does not transfer between people, you are not the only one believe me.

To be honest with you, it’s only money, and there are various ways to deal with it, just depends on your circumstances which option you choose.

I’ve moved your post to the general forum, so you will get more help.

[Deleted User]

dan_wise wrote: »

So I've got myself into a right mess with online gambling, a progressive and ultimately devastating addiction which over the past 8 years has gradually destroyed all of my savings and over the last year has been fuelled mostly by pay day loans.

The gambling issue is in the process of being tackled, but financially I'm in a very bad place with around £12.6k debt and a DMP looks about the best option with my job at least secure and bringing money in each month.

My main concern is one of the loans was taken out very recently and I am yet to make a single repayment, will they likely reject the DMP on that basis?

Also I live with my parents at this moment in time and am quite keen to keep a lid on the situation (I know, I know), are the default letters etc sent in discreet envelopes or will it be obvious what's inside?

So ashamed and mentally shot to pieces. Were there not a genuine want on my part to clear this debt to be sure I wasn't leaving it behind for my loved ones, I would end it all today.

Hey,

Hope you're feeling a bit better about this today.

There's always someone on here for you to talk to and it's good to get it all out of your system even if it is to strangers on the internet.

A lot of us have all been in the same place as you.

It seem's like you have a mountain to climb and you don't know how to start but just take one step then another and you are on your way.

Are you getting help with the gambling issue or are you tackling this yourself?

I'm not sure about how the stuff will come through to you, do you think your parents would support you through this? I don't mean with the money but you never know they may have some experience with this themselves?

Dxxx

Debtnomoreplease

Firstly, a huge huge well done for finding the site, acknowledging your problem and seeking help to sort things out.

It's money, I know that sounds silly when you are in debt, but more or less every person on this site has been where you are money wise and many many more people owe alot more.

You doing something silly to longer be here will not solve anything, only cause your family unimaginable pain all because of money, it really isn't worth it?

Every money problem can be solved, some quicker than others, but All can be solved.

Everything still feels extremely raw at the moment, but you will not feel like this for ever... I promise.

Have you got someone you can speak to?

You need to put blocks in place to stop you gambling, contact GA.

If you can put up an SOA (I'm sure someone will add the link for you) the lovely people of this site will help you make a plan.

Luckily you are with your parents and don't have a house to keep going mortgage wise as well. Do you think you could speak to your parents? They might be cross, upset at the beginning, but I'm sure when they say you have a plan etc they'll support you.

Please spend some time on this site and see how much some people have paid off, and how etc as it will give you a great boost to realise you aren't in debt forever.

It will take commitment, sacrifice of somethings, but mentally and financially you'll be in a completely different headspace in 12months time.

Stay engaged with his page and post for any help, encouragment.

Good luck x

skc246

Hi Dan - I'm in a similar boat, except my debt is 40k. I remember when my debt was 12 ish last year and it was horrible. Well, I kept going and look what happened.

I also took out a recent loan (yet to make the first payment), and asked stepchange about this re: a DMP. They said it would have potential repercussions for a bankrupcy but not for a DMP, but do check with them - give them a call if you're concerned that you can't make the repayments. You first have to provide all of your incoming and outgoings so it takes about half an hour or so. Might be worth a go.

There's a sub reddit with problem gambling and also gamcare has a phone number you can call to discuss the issue. I have other issues too, but if it's just gambling then maybe those could help.

jwil

None of my letters came in anything that would make them obvious as to the contents. Make sure you keep in touch (by letter) with your creditors, tell them you do not want correspondence by phone, and you should be able to keep a lid on it if you really don't want your parents to know. If you haven't got anyone to talk to about it in 'real life', keep up with a diary on here, it really helps.

As long as you get help with the gambling, if you've got a job and assuming your outgoings are relatively low, you should be able to make real inroads into your debts. If you post an SOA people can help with advice.

dan_wise

Thanks for the replies, bless each and every one of you for taking the time. Here's my (grim) SOA as requested:

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 3
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 1

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1225
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1225

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 154
Rent.................................... 300
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 0
Electricity............................. 0
Gas..................................... 0
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 0
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 17
TV Licence.............................. 0
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 30
Clothing................................ 10
Petrol/diesel........................... 20
Road tax................................ 13
Car Insurance........................... 48
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 25
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 10
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 20
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 15
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 647

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 1100
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 1100

Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 0........(0)........0
Secured Debt.................. 1228.....(154)......0
Total secured & HP debts...... 1228......-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Halifax........................4778......101.......29.7
Satsuma........................1627......133.......0
Bamboo.........................1344......168.......89.9
Capital One....................200.......6.........0
Barclaycard....................996.......22.4......0
Uncle Buck.....................888.......180.......1254
Ferratum.......................1300......200.......707
Total unsecured debts..........11133.....810.4.....-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,225
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 662
Available for debt repayments........... 563
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 810.4
Amount short for making debt repayments. -247.4

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 1,100
Total HP & Secured debt................. -1,228
Total Unsecured debt.................... -11,133
Net Assets.............................. -11,261

Created using the SOA calculator at stoozing.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using Firefox browser.

Stepchange came up with a similar figure that I could reasonably afford, give or take about £10. Would my creditors not consider it somewhat derisory relative to the size of the debts? I really hope not, I need this to work.

dan_wise

Deleted_User wrote: »

Are you getting help with the gambling issue or are you tackling this yourself?

My problem is/was exclusively online - I have signed up to Gamstop for the maximum 5 years and will also install blocking software in the coming days, I believe there is a way to get Gamban free for 1 year somewhere via the Sky website.

Beyond that am reading up a lot of people's stories on the Gamcare website, watching YouTube videos on the subject and basically finding ways to connect with as many people as possible that understand what I'm going through. I will check out the Reddit as well having seen that mentioned in here.

GA meetings would not be for me but I am open to one-on-one counselling sessions if needed, anything to get me through it basically. But for now my mind is fully focussed on putting this behind me and the barriers are in place to prevent any more (financial) self-harm.

Debtnomoreplease wrote: »

Firstly, a huge huge well done for finding the site, acknowledging your problem and seeking help to sort things out.

It's money, I know that sounds silly when you are in debt, but more or less every person on this site has been where you are money wise and many many more people owe alot more.

You doing something silly to longer be here will not solve anything, only cause your family unimaginable pain all because of money, it really isn't worth it?

Every money problem can be solved, some quicker than others, but All can be solved.

Everything still feels extremely raw at the moment, but you will not feel like this for ever... I promise.

Thanks for the kind words. Things don't feel as hopeless as they did yesterday, but I'd be lying if I said I could see a happy future for myself in this moment in time. All I can do is pour everything I have left into tackling this debt and keeping the door firmly closed on the gambling in the meantime.

Debtnomoreplease wrote: »

Luckily you are with your parents and don't have a house to keep going mortgage wise as well. Do you think you could speak to your parents? They might be cross, upset at the beginning, but I'm sure when they say you have a plan etc they'll support you.

I know that they would take it incredibly badly, and as selfish as it sounds I don't think I could handle irreparable damage being done to the relationships that mean most to me right now.

But then another part of me wonders how on earth I am ever going to move out post-DMP once the defaults are on my file. If they eventually find out anyway they will probably want me gone sooner rather than later and that will be a lot harder going forwards. It's all such a horrible mess, and there are no good options left on the table.

skc246 wrote: »

Hi Dan - I'm in a similar boat, except my debt is 40k. I remember when my debt was 12 ish last year and it was horrible. Well, I kept going and look what happened.

I also took out a recent loan (yet to make the first payment), and asked stepchange about this re: a DMP. They said it would have potential repercussions for a bankrupcy but not for a DMP, but do check with them - give them a call if you're concerned that you can't make the repayments. You first have to provide all of your incoming and outgoings so it takes about half an hour or so. Might be worth a go.

That's encouraging to hear, thank you. To be honest I do not feel as though the loan should have been issued in the first place, the lender in question clearly didn't conduct thorough enough affordability checks, so maybe if I push that angle in writing they will be less likely to challenge my DMP offer? Or would that come across too aggressive?

jwil wrote: »

None of my letters came in anything that would make them obvious as to the contents. Make sure you keep in touch (by letter) with your creditors, tell them you do not want correspondence by phone, and you should be able to keep a lid on it if you really don't want your parents to know. If you haven't got anyone to talk to about it in 'real life', keep up with a diary on here, it really helps.

Thanks. The sudden increase in post for me will likely catch their attention anyway, but at this point I'll have to cross that bridge when I come to it and take each day as it comes.

Cheers once again everybody, appreciate the advice received so far.

[Deleted User]

You can 100% do this.

Keep us updated on how you are getting on, if you need to chat we are here.

Dxxx

dan_wise

Thank you.

I have applied for a new (basic) current account from Nationwide as advised in other threads. Can't continue with Halifax given they are my biggest creditor.

A few further questions

1) I have a few payments due in the next week that I obviously cannot make with only £13 left in the bank. How should I go about contacting my creditors regarding this given the short notice? And do I need to cancel direct debits etc if I am opening a fresh account which my salary will be going into from next month?

2) To add to my woes my car insurance is up for renewal next month. I was planning to pay monthly but now I worry about not getting approved for this and it throwing a major spanner in the works. Am I best to delay the start of the DMP by one month, pay the car insurance premium in full, build somewhat of an Emergency Fund and start the DMP in October? I am uncomfortable with the idea of delaying the DMP by too long personally, especially as I am living with my parents and can get away with a smaller EF.


TIA.

jwil

Cancel all your DDs. Write to your creditors and let them know you are taking advice for your debt problems. Give them a stepchange reference if you've got one. Take a few months to save up an emergency fund as you won't have any credit if your car needs repairing etc.

I've had no problems getting monthly car insurance and I've only been paying £1 a month to my debts for nearly 4 years. However, it would be cheaper to pay it annually so it's worth doing that if you can.

Once your DMP is set up, the volume of letters will decrease massively. I hear from my creditors about once every 6 months when they want a review. You could try asking them to correspond by email only - some may be willing to do so.

When you do your budget - don't make the mistake of trying to shave off every penny for your creditors. You need to be able to live on it. Make a realistic budget and use the categories that are there. Your creditors will accept whatever it is you've got spare. Any extra income get saving and you can use towards a deposit in the future or save towards F&F settlements.

The defaults will be on your file for 6 years. It's best to get them as soon as you can, then the clock starts ticking for your file to be clear again. Delaying your DMP will help get them sooner as you won't be paying anything (or token payments if you prefer).