Squirrelling away the pennies for debt free life

hodd

Whilst i love my £3.50 work canteen lunches, I avoid the onsite Costa Coffee at all costs. A couple of those a day will add up to £1000 a year.

It must take real discipline to eat well and cheaply in a town or city centre.

Squirrelly

Good Morning Squirrel Friends


Sorry for not making it back yesterday evening, Mr Squirrel went out to check on his parents (his Mum has dementia and his Dad is main carer) and took his laptop with him. I could have done my entry on my phone but I much prefer a proper keyboard.


I think lunches can easily be a 'danger' area, its so easy when your working hard and time poor to slip up...and don't even get me started on Costa! I work in an out of town retail establishment so the only food sources are a costa or the in house resturant both are meant to have discounts for employees, but its very hit and miss and depends who you have on the tills. If I have a work lunch it easily costs £5-7...funnily enough I never buy food from work:rotfl:


So how did we get on yesterday, as I reported, the garage rang to say squirrelmobile needed 3 tyres rather than 2.When i thought it was 2 I had allocated £150 for this, estimating that tyres would cost approx £50 plus VAT (I dont drive so car expenses can feel a bit foreign to me) plus a bit of wriggle room. After they rang I was thinking I would need to up this to closer to £180....you can imagine my delight when the actual bill came in at £148.50 including the VAT :j


We also did the food shop between Al.di and Mr T we stuck to our list based on my food plan and it came in at £80.83 (including Doggo and Kitty Cat food, shampoo and conditioner etc), bit on the high side but as in July we had completely run down stores not unexpected. I will be happy if we manage to avoid top up shops...watch this space



Other expenses were £10.80 on a part to repair our mower (much needed the back looks like a jungle with this warm, wet weather) which means we can crack on with gardening this weekend and take some things off our to do list. £12.99 on Aspen (snake sawdust) to clean out the snake, another job off the to do list, £18 on Mr Squirrel prescription and finally £12.99 on the game I reserved...so a grand total of £284.11:eek:


Today we are aiming for a NSD we are all off this weekend so have lovely things planned but none that cost any money. Mr and Girl Squirrel will go out soon for a bike ride, I will crack on with some baking for snacks I have homemade flapjack on the menu for this week, then it will be gardening this afternoon.


Right going to catch up on some diaries while I finish my coffee to get my head in the zone, have a lovely day all

DebtFreeMonkey

Aye, I'm familiar with spending a bit too much lately but at the very least, I know all my bills are paid and money is put into my savings. The kicker is, I wanted to save more money to pay my debts off quicker but...we live and we learn.

It seems like you spent money, predominantly, on things that were needed to at least there's that.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Bingbunny

Hi Squirrelly.

Just been reading your dairy and have subscribed. Our debt is about the same. We can both do this. You have the right frame of mind.

Work lunches - I have an active job so my 30 min lunch is normally sat in a comfortable chair, feet up on another chair with a homemade lunch. Im too lazy to pop up the works canteen and wait in line which results in 10 mins gone from my break. I make lunch for little one when it's school so it's the ideal time to make mine. Is your husband getting used to homemade lunches now?

Keep up your dairy, it certainly helps you and others.
See ya soon
Bing xx

Squirrelly

Good Morning Squirrel Friends,


Hope you are having a lovely Sunday, anyone get a lie in? I planned to have one but woke up at 7am Not that I sprung into action very quickly.


Did the Squirrel tribe a mini fry up (hash browns, beans, mushrooms, eggs) as per food plan to set them up for the day. Happy to report that yesterday was indeed a NSD...Hallelujah! and we are aiming for another one today :T Mr Squirrel is currently driving a packed squirrelmobile to the tip with the results of our efforts yesterday as we blitzed the back garden thanks to the repaired mower. We basically now have short weeds:rotfl:


I have big plans for the garden once we are debt free as I hope to remove all the grass (short weeds) and create a woodland inspired space I can get about 3-4 trees in there and then fill with Hostas and ferns...very dingley dell.


Thank you for all the comments about lunches etc, I genuinely find it interesting how people manage these 'tricky' areas and I get ideas for little tweaks to our own routines. I am pleased to let you know that Mr Squirrel does enjoy his homemade lunches and predominantly through this summer has been enjoying homemade hummus and veg sticks...he makes a morroccan inspired one with harissa which I would happily eat fom the pot with a spoon...delicious! Also he has lost about 10kg in weight so feels much better about himself too:)


Rightho I have finished my coffee and have a list of things to crack on with today so as much as I would love to stay here on the sofa its time to get going

savingholmes

I let myself have a 2 or 3 £5 meals at work over the month (steak and chips from a nearby van) - the rest of the time I try to take it in. Recently found out that OH has been spending £2 a day for meals ie close to £40 a month - was not happy at all.... especially since he told me he was having special diet sachets... (which he bought on top). I would try and get OH to cut down and see buying lunch at work as a treat rather than everyday. I think £3 a day = £60+ pcm is a lot.

Squirrelly

Good Evening Squirrel Friends,


Just a very quick update this evening as tea will be ready soon, chicken and leek pie using the leftover chicken from yesterdays roast...I even rustled up some pizza pinwheels from the pastry offcuts to meet Boy and Girl Squirrels near constant demands to be fed over the holidays.


Happy to report another NSD :j and we are pretty sure we can achieve another one tomorrow although I may need another loaf of bread for Wednesday. Food planning is going well and as I have even allocated snacks its really helping the pace that we are getting through things...Boy and Girl squirrel even asked whats on the food plan for snacks today...well done kids!


I went back to work after a weeks leave and it was nice to be back. I am a retail minion which for an emotional, overspender can be putting myself in a difficult situation for example even today we had some things reduced which my first instinct was to grab as a 'ooh bargain', talked myself out of it :A



I'll be back tomorrow for a more thorough update and am thinking it may be time to go through our debt story.


x

Squirrelly

Hello again Squirrel Friends,


so I have finally got time to sit down and go through everything that caused the debt so firstly


***TRIGGER WARNING*** This post will talk about depression, suicidal thoughts and hoarding **Please if you think you may be effected by any of this please come back later


Secondly this is a very long post so if you are reading, maybe grab a cuppa


1998 - I meet Mr Squirrel, I know he's the 'one' and it gets serious quickly. I meet my future in laws and soon become aware they are hoarders on a pretty immense scale, not cluttered, proper hoarders.


2004/5 - Boy Squirrel is born and this marks about the last date I go into the in laws house because of the hoarding, its out of control and obviously not safe or hygenic for a child, so in laws only visit us. Mr Squirrel tries from this point onwards to get them to help themselves or to seek help. He gently and kindly suggests this is a mental health problem. He is either completely ignored or on at least 1 occasion met with outright aggression from his father..


2013 - The Squirrels hit peak debt approx 20K, in the end we sell off our rental property and clear the debt. Other than a rolling debt of £800-£1000 on a next account for kids clothes etc we are pretty much debt free. Ongoing discussions start about the future of our home, we are in a tiny Victorian cottage, do we try and extend or move.


Feb 2015 - MiL has a stroke, she seems to recover well physically, but she is 'not quite right'. The hoarding escalates majorly MiL is going to charity shops daily and bringing back 2 carrier bags of stuff. She is also carrying more bags with her everywhere she goes , if she was going to spend 1.5 hours at ours to look after the children then take them to school (i.e 7.30am to 9am which she does a couple of mornings a week with FiL)she would bring 6-8 carrier bags with her. I would then spend the afternoon picking up at least 1 bags worth of stuff that gets left behind - it drives me crazy! It also becomes apparent that their lives are becoming more and more chaotic. They ask to borrow our washing machine (i.e do their washing at our house) as theirs is broken, we say yes thinking this will be for a month max, two years later they are still doing their washing at ours. I also get reports that they are 'living' at ours, if they come to look after the children in the morning they dont go back home after the school run is completed, they stay and leave just before I arrive home from work at 2.30pm.


August 2016 - FiL becomes ill and goes into hospital leaving MiL alone. The full extent of the situation comes out. FiL has been covering for MiL she is very confused and struggling to do things, she cant take her medication herself, she needs reminding FiL is in hospital - I start to suspect she has dementia. Mr Squirrel goes to the house for more than a brief visit for the first time in about 5 years and realises the true extent of the hoarding and neglect. They have no working cooker, the boiler is broken so no central heating or hot running water, no washing machine and in the bedroom they have the secondary glazing panels but no actual windows as they fell out.The house is full of rubbish, in the lounge the only space available is their armchair seats and they have to crawl over the rubbish to get to them as the rubbish level reaches the seats. We are totally horrified and Mr Squirrel is wracked with guilt that it got to this stage.It seems that moving house could be part of the answer as we would then have room to help out, we talk about properly dealing with the hoarding and getting MiL some therapy.


Sept 2016 - We put our cottage up for sale and sell it that weekend. We buy the largest house we can afford (6 bedrooms -1 downstairs, upstairs bathroom, downstairs shower room) its pretty ugly, needs lots of work and is not in a terribly desirable area (although certainly not bad) so we are able to get it for only 47K more than our current tiny but very pretty cottage. FiL is much better so we prepare for the move, spend our savings on fees and start thinking how we are going to renovate to make it future proof.


Dec 2016 - We move in and spend 2K on the credit card for a new range cooker and dishwasher. Im getting ready to go back to work full time in Jan to fund the repairs aand renovations, we are confident we will pay off the CC in a few months.


Jan 2017 - FiL goes back into hospital, as we have only just moved and havent even finish unpacking or own a spare bed we decide MiL will stay at home with Mr Squirrel making twice daily visits to check on her, give meds etc, FiL expecting to be out in a couple of days. 2 days later MiL goes missing, Mr Squirrel goes to check her and the house is in darkness. Frantic searching and phone calls, just as we are about to call the police, we ge a result from the hospital she had called 999 looking for FiL and a crew had attended, seen her confused state and the house and taken her in. She comes to stay with us the next day. A week later FiL gets out of hospital and asks if he can stay for a couple of weeks to recover, we suggest they stay for approx 6 weeks to sort the house out, clear the mess and get the boiler etc fixed.


Jan 2017-March 2018 The 6 week stay turned into 15 months! We were in no way equiped to deal with inter generational living let alone the issues that my in laws have. The chaos of their lifestyle starts to invade our home. We have a approx 7am-10pm day, they run on a 11am-3am day. Mr Squirrel and I love spicy food and pasta, they want to eat roast dinner every night. MiL is still hoarding and buying and her dementia is getting worse (not that we could get a diagnosis for a year!) and she is not just forgetful she is ragingly paranoid, there are people coming into the house in the middle of the night and moving and taking her stuff, rather than she just forgot where she put something. She is obsessed with the idea of going home so we would occasionally get up at 6.30am to find the door wide open and her gone.


The idea that they will use their time to sort the house becomes laughable as they get up at 11am spend some time in their armchairs (they now have the lounge of our house to themselves and full of their stuff) get dressed, go to the local cafe for lunch and then go to their house to sort, if they are lucky they get there at 4pm before leaving at 5.30 to be back for us getting home from work to cook dinner...at least 2 different dinner as they didnt like our food



MiL would have a shower and then forget to turn it off all day and FiL wouldnt go an check she had done it...at one point my gas and elec bill was £270 a month.


More and more things would start travelling across from their house they didnt like our knives and forks so more appeared etc etc.


So where does this lead us financially, well they were giving us £300-£500 a month for their keep, but I suspect it was costing closer to £700-£900,(all the extra food for different meals, the extra elec as they are watching TV until 3am, the heating is on all day etc) essentially all my full time wage was being swallowed and we were topping up on the credit card.


I am starting to become really, really depressed. I absolutely hate the living situation, I feel completely out of control of my life, I hate that my children are growing up in a house where everything revolves around their grandparents and resent my in laws for not moving fast enough to ease the situation, to never have accepted our previous offers of help and sorted this out when they were young and fit enough to. Mr Squirrel is now spending every weekend at his parents trying to sort out what they should have done through the week. We are fighting terribly and Im pretty sure my marriage is breaking down. I think about leaving and then I start to think if Im the one who hates it so much perhaps everyone else would be better off without me...I go to a very dark place. There is actually certain weeks and months that I struggle to remember as I was in such a 'fog' of depression.


I am emotionally spending, buying clothes for myself to attempt to stick a plaster on all these horrible feeling and escape. Buying the kids things to compensate that their homelife is pretty awful (no friends round, no days out, their dad always away trying to sort the house).


March 2018 - Finally my in laws house is in a fit state for them to move back into and things start to improve, MiL gets diagnosis, I go part time at work (I seriously think I was heading for a breakdown) and prioritise my time with the children, my marriage to Mr Squirrel is still fragile but we are trying hard to fix it.



August 2018 - Debt is at 12k we pay a bit off and add more back on. We have a real long look at what we want to achieve and how we want to live our life, we want to finally renovate our own house, take the children on holiday etc. Time for our original lightbulb!


August 2019 - So here we are after losing our way a bit. Ready to tackle that last bit of debt. Mr Squirrel and I survived and are back to being much happier and our marriage stronger.



MiL continues to deteriorate she has absolutely no recollection of living with us, she nows goes to a day centre twice a week at the care home where she will probably end up. Mr Squirrel goes over to them at least two times a week to check their Ok and provide respite so FiL can go out. MiL no longer buys and hoards as she an not really go out to the shops anymore, sadly this was the only way we could get her to stop.


So thats how we ended up where we did I hope it makes sense



If you managed to read all that well done you probably deserve a medal and if you didnt, well its mostly just cathartic for me to get it all out.


Normal chit chat about meal planning, NSDs and money saving will resume tomorrow


Night night Squirrel friends xx

enthusiasticsaver

Goodness what a time you have had and I feel sorry for your PIL and DH too. I am with you though that inter generational living often does not work out even with the mental health issues your MIL has. It has ended badly for the two people close to me who have tried it.


Good that you and Mr Squirrel have survived though and are stronger for it and good luck on getting rid of that last bit of debt.

Squirrelly

Good Evening Squirrel Friends,


Anyone having a wild Friday night? I am already in my pyjamas after eating an enormous plate of pasta...:D


So two little top up shops made this week one of £4.38 on Wednesday and one of £3.09 on Thursday which means we have spent the grand total of £7.47 over the week...giving myself a little pat on the back for that (especially as it's the holiday)


We have a nice weekend planned, there is a local history event tomorrow so we are all going up together + a little friend of Squirrel girls. Reenactors, kids crafts etc and all free...Im going to take water and sandwiches and have allocated £10 for ice creams or if any of the kids activities have a donation.


Then on Sunday, Squirrel girl is going back out with her little friend and are being taken to Cadbury's world by little friends Grandparents. I am at work, and Mr and Boy Squirrel will probably use a quiet sunday for watching loud movies with lots of explosions (not favoured by me and Girl).


I've aready done my shopping list for next weeks food plan, there are a couple of pricier items on there like dishwasher tablets and a whole chicken (which should do two meals) so I am thinking a total in the region of £70-80...I will report back with actual figures.


Also we got notification of the dreaded bank fees a total of £66.17, so annoying, but totally our own fault, so I will take my financial slap on the wrist and use it to remind me to stick to the plan!!! The real irony of it is that one of the things I impluse spent on was clothes, because I got a 20% off code...that saving was totally wiped out by the bank fees...what an idiot:mad:

Looking at the silver lining it wont leave the bank account until 2.09.19 so we have the whole of August to get back on track.


xxx


P.S I have a diary to do list, one is an SOA, another is to do an entry about my clothes shopping a real weak area for me