Anyone from the north work south during the week?

Savvy_Sue

I think whether you could make it work partly depends on family dynamics and how self-reliant your children are.



Obviously if you're used to long night-shifts then there must be times when you are just not available, so that's a good start. It's whether your DH and offspring are willing to tackle the thinking and organising side of family life when you're not there. Maybe they already do: I just know that we managed OK with DH working away, but I think it would have taken a while to get this family on board with it if I'd been away.

Miss_Moneysaver

Hi,

My eldest is pretty much able to look after himself these days and I hardly see him tbh. The girl is 11 and about to start secondary school. It is her I am worried about. She is a quiet, timid girl but she does have a very close relationship with her dad.
I am not too happy in the marriage tbh - another reason why I fancy doing this. We are like room mates and I have no feeling for him (in that way). I think it is a good idea for my career but also to give me some space and thinking time. I do have an idea of what I can do if this all goes pear shaped and this role will give me the experience I need to move into this area (that I'd do until I retired). I worry about my kids though!
I am starting to think I'd have been better going for a role in London as (a) I'd get inner London weighting (I'm would get outer in Colchester but not that much) and (b) easier for me to get to central London as to get to Colchester I need to catch a train to King's Cross, then tube to Liverpool Street then train to Colchester. I've looked at going from Peterborough and it takes an extra hour!

I am starting to think renting, hotel or AirBnB would be best if I can get away with 3 nights a week.

I really don't want to stay where I am! Arrghhh. Yes,when I am on nights I am away from the family for 3 days twice month anyway! They really are awful to work but I am very frustrated at work!

Miss_Moneysaver

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

I think whether you could make it work partly depends on family dynamics and how self-reliant your children are.



Obviously if you're used to long night-shifts then there must be times when you are just not available, so that's a good start. It's whether your DH and offspring are willing to tackle the thinking and organising side of family life when you're not there. Maybe they already do: I just know that we managed OK with DH working away, but I think it would have taken a while to get this family on board with it if I'd been away.

This is another problem! I do all of the organising at home. DH hasn't got a clue! He has never paid a bill, never read a letter from school etc. I do worry about that aspect!

strawb_shortcake

lots of people at my work place do similar, either commute to Bristol in the week and go home Thursday evening. Some have bought 2nd homes in the Bristol area or lodge weekdays. Others are Bristol based but travel mainly North Tues to Thurs and stay in hotels which are paid by our employer. The majority of these people have families and appears to work well.
I'd be very much inclined to take it, if you don't you'll always wonder what if. You've said you don't like your current job so this will force your hand. If it doesn't work out, keep going until the mortgage is paid off which should then not put so much financial pressure on you for whatever the next step may be.
Children are more resilient to change than we give them credit for.
Good luck in whatever you decide.

Savvy_Sue

Miss_Moneysaver wrote: »

This is another problem! I do all of the organising at home. DH hasn't got a clue! He has never paid a bill, never read a letter from school etc. I do worry about that aspect!

Well ... I'd say there are ways round those issues. We had bills on DD as far as possible, but that may or may not work for you, depending on your banking arrangements.

But what we've always done if one of us is away is talk each day and ask what post has arrived. AND that would include letters from school. So if you asked him, would he go and look in school bags / ask your son and daughter? And then tell you what they say, over the phone?

Your eldest can take responsibility here: if he doesn't tell you and Dad what letters he's got, that's his problem. Your DD may need some training in that area.

One thing you could look at to start with is booking ahead into a Travelodge or Premier Inn. You may be able to find more homely accommodation through the employer once you've started there. I wouldn't rush into a let too quickly.

Miss_Moneysaver

motorguy wrote: »

Thats pretty much the same for me. Our son is 25 and lives in Australia, so no kids to factor in.

Personally i've always opted for hotel living as i'm away Monday -> Thursday, so just 3 nights away. It would cost me more to rent somewhere than i'm paying in hotel charges. The downside is though the moving about of stuff on a Thursday morning but i've it down to a fine art after 4 years.

Financially, its very worth it but being away from home does have its downsides.

Does your employer pay for your meals? I would have to pay for my own so I am reluctant to stay in a hotel.

Miss_Moneysaver

I'm very aware my children are growing up and my eldest is already talking of going away to university...not that long away!

Miss_Moneysaver

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Well ... I'd say there are ways round those issues. We had bills on DD as far as possible, but that may or may not work for you, depending on your banking arrangements.

But what we've always done if one of us is away is talk each day and ask what post has arrived. AND that would include letters from school. So if you asked him, would he go and look in school bags / ask your son and daughter? And then tell you what they say, over the phone?

Your eldest can take responsibility here: if he doesn't tell you and Dad what letters he's got, that's his problem. Your DD may need some training in that area.

One thing you could look at to start with is booking ahead into a Travelodge or Premier Inn. You may be able to find more homely accommodation through the employer once you've started there. I wouldn't rush into a let too quickly.

Now both kids are out of primary we should see less letters coming from school - and less parental involvement!

I've checked out the local Travelodge - £37 a night but I'd have to pay for my meals which means not as cost effective for me.

motorguy

Miss_Moneysaver wrote: »

Does your employer pay for your meals? I would have to pay for my own so I am reluctant to stay in a hotel.

I pay for my own. It works for me as i am a contractor thus arent guaranteed to be in a specific company for a time. Money wise, there isnt much difference in it for me as both work around around £800-900 a month, actually maybe more for a flat / apartment.

Also i generally have a light breakfast, a meal @ lunchtime in the staff subsidised restaurant then eat light at tea time.