My back is against the wall

auntyauntyaunty

I'm embarrased to admit that I've got myself into a financial nightmare.
I have 3 maxed out credit cards approx £10,000 on each one (Capital one, M&S and Barclaycard) I also have personal loans with co-op, capital one and Barclays.
I used to lead a pampered life style but that all changed a couple of years ago when I had to give up work due to ill health. But my husband continued to pay all my bills.
We no longer live together, but he still continued to support me financially. Then earlier this year he reduced his support. He still pays my mortgage, utility bills and gives me an amount to pay for living expenses...unfortunately this no where near covers my outgoings.
I have now used all my savings trying to keep up with payments, have been using credit cards to pay off other cards and loans, but now I have come to the end of the road.
I know I have to get in touch with all of these people...but I just don't know how to approach them...or indeed what to say
I'm not expecting any sympathy from anyone, I have got what I deserved for being a stupid stupid woman...but please can someone point me in the right direction, give me some suggestions on how I can sort this out
I know I should have done something sooner, but hoped againast hope that somehow it would all work out fine.
I have today had a letter from the back telling me I have gone over my agreed overdraft, and they are not prepared to extend it anymore
Can it get any worse?

saffronflowers

Welcome and you will not be judge here!

SFx

Little_Pickle

Let's get cracking on helping you out!

Post an SOA and we'll see how we can help!

oh, and welcome!
LP
xox

GirlieSurfer

Dont worry AAA, you've come to the right place! Two things to do immediately:

1. Contact a FREE debt counselling service (Martin has a list on the debt pages). I use CCCS and find them brilliant.
2. Post your SOA (Statement of Affairs) so that we can see if we can help you cut down somewhere and free up a bit more money for you to put towards your bills. You will need all incomings, outgoings (absolutely everything you spend in a month), debts and interest rates.

Look forward to seeing it, chin up x

misspoppy

Hi

Welcome and well done for starting the thread. I just wondered are you claiming all the benefits you are entitiled to and do you have a formal agreement for your husband to keep giving you money?

auntyauntyaunty

Firstly I am not entitled to any benefits, other than council tax discount, because of the amounts paid by my husband.
I don't have a legal agreement re amount Husband is paying. He says if I want to go the legal route he will only pay me absolute minimum, which will be a lot less than I'm getting now
I will sort out all my statements this evening and try to put together a SOA.
In the meantime does anyone have a template for a letter to my credit companies...or am I better to face them on the phone.

itsnever2lateisit?

Hi AAA

DONT call your creditors, its an absolute NO NO, it will heap hell upon you, because they will repeatedly call you demanding repayment and threatening all sorts of repercusions if you don't.

Much better to approach your problem in a calm and systematic way.
I suggest this order

1. Put the kettle on
2. List all the debts with their APR's and balances
3. Put together your SOA
4. Find a notebook and from now keep a spending diary

then sometime in the near future after you/us have got the full picture you can decide what to do next. Having said that it would be prudent to have a browse on the net at the Charity organisations like CAB,CCCS and Nationaldebtline. If you do need help later they are the people you should deal with, FREE IMPARTIAL advice, they will take a lot of the strain from you in dealing with your creditors on your behalf. Whatever you do DONT talk to your creditors on the phone, nor seek the help of those outfits who advertise on daytime TV promising you the stars from the sky in sorting your debts out

Best wishes

Savvy_sewing

I wish you luck in your endeavour. I wonder if your husband is threatening you fairly.? Ask the free advice people if infact you are getting what you are entitled to. I worry because my ex husband said the same, in the end he stopped paying the mortgage (becuase I started to date.) and all the paperwork went to him. First I knew about it was eviction. If I had had an agreement in writing from him it would not have happened. Although that was 12 years ago. Check out the facts, what you would be entitled to if he didnt contribute, and which scenario really is the best. Is he just holding you to ransom. As the others have said you need to do a statement of affairs, to deal with it. Whether you post it or not its the only way to assess where you really are. Then deep breathe.. You will need to learn to be resourceful, and count every penny. From the coffee in the shops to the loo paper. There is something on here somewhere that will help. Unfortunately the website has been having problems so some of it has gone awol at the moment. But the knowledge is here with all the others. Good luck, and hope your light bulb moment, will illuminate the way forward for you.

tigerfeet2006

You've made the first steps in sorting out your problems, congratulations.

The gals and guys have given you good advice so start from there.

See my signature for details of the debt agencies to contact.

In_Search_Of_Me

Just t say welcome & congratulations on your lightbulb moment! Its tough initially as you sort what is what but will be a huge relief when you've done it. As others have said first thing is dont panic! Hard I know but you need to sort this by working it all out & then making informed decisions. I would recc ringing cccs when you have all your figures and ask them to negociate on your behalf. Can you work now and if so have you been looking for a job & if not would you be able to? The agreement with your OH leaves you very vunerable if that is your only income...I really would seek legal advise about this and dont tell him you are doing this - the more knowledge you have the more powerful you become in situations such as these! It may be that even if you did go down the legal route that he would owe more and he possibly knows that & is trying to scare you off or it may just be he prefers not to have the hassle! Anyway, sit down and work it all out & others have said make sure you use one of the free agencies who work for you but are not looking to make money out of the vulnerable!
The other thing you need to do is start a spending diary (online one at spending diary.com) and dont spend stuff on wants for now. Do you have stuff you could flog of ebay/car boot etc? In my early days I made about 2000 like that!
And finally welcome to a place where people know the feeling of "how could I be so stupid" and are supporting each other out of debt. Some of us will be here a while (about 7 years in my case!!) so you definately wont be alone!