8 months into mortgage - options on getting out

ApexFeline

Hi All,


In October last year I purchased my first house with my mum.


I was struggling to get on the property ladder with no savings, and my mum had just split from her partner. So with my higher wage and her equity we decided to buy together which suited us both. She obviously covered the stamp duty and did most of the work with finances as I'm completely clueless. We had agreed that we would look to sell after 5 years, she would get back all the equity she put in and we would split any new equity.


Fast forward 8 months. Unfortunately living together has been very difficult and not how we both imagined. I also have a new partner whom I've been seeing for 6 months. He is in a position where in the next year or so he wants us to be living together and would like to buy our own home. He wouldn't feel comfortable living at ours as he doesn't want to rent and live with my mum.


My mum has also met someone new who has already moved in with us and is happily renting. This means my mum is very happy with the current set up.


I am now totally lost as to what to do. If I asked my mum to sell in the next year she would end up with less equity than what she put in - and I couldn't put her in that position.


I've toyed with various options, however I'm unsure if any are actually feasible:
I stay in the position I'm in - Id probably lose my partner and be exceptionally unhappy staying where I was.
I get a loan to cover my mums shortfall - leaving me very poor financially.
Her new partner takes on my share of the mortgage - he has poor credit rating and unlikely to get accepted.
I rent my room and lounge in the property - if a lodger fell through id end up back to square one and Id likely struggle to find a lodger willing to live with the numerous pets my mum owns.


I'm really at a loss. I feel completely stuck and what felt like a great idea at the time now feels like the worst.

lindens

Did you draw up a deed of trust and get all this in writing? I guess not. How was the mortgage arranged - in both names? tenants in common?

8ofspades

Alarm bells would be ringing for me that such a new relationship requires you to buy with them in the next year and that if you didn't, you'd lose them.

It's a shame the experience hasn't turned out as you hoped but it seems like you're acting impulsively now, perhaps feeling trapped in your situation because you feel this new relationship is fragile.

You need to talk to the people involved and work out a plan that will leave you happy - it probably won't be anything fast. Even if you can get out of the situation, I would be very wary buying with someone so quickly, especially if there is any form of pressure or coercion to do so (i.e. we can't be together if we can't buy a house together in the next year).

If your mum's boyfriend pays additional rent, can you put some of that into making over payments to the mortgage, it would reduce the overall interest and increase the speed at which you reach the point where selling would get your mum's equity back. Does your mum even want to sell?

csgohan4

Sadly this another thread on why money and family shouldn't mix, for all good intentions on buying together, it is a risk as both will need their own space and will inevitably have partners and children in the future

OP I hope you get this sorted out

foxy-stoat

If you don't want to put your Mum in a worse position financially hope that the property increases in value by at least the legal and estate agent fees and stamp duty and put it on the market after the fixed rate is up.

You may need to rent somewhere with the new partner in the mean time, at least if it goes wrong you have a room to fall back to.

ApexFeline

We do have a deed of trust in place yes which states she will get back her money when we sell or 100% if sale is equal or less.

My partner is also in a difficult situation. Hence requirements of living together ASAP. Not necessarily buying but renting too however my wage wouldn't cover my mortgage and rent.

It's also my home life making me want to leave. After 13 years away from home I thought we would still be able to live independently in a shared house however it hasn't worked out like that and I feel like I'm living in my mums house not our house.

8ofspades

But I assume he would still be in a difficult situation if you were no longer in a relationship together - or is he going to go out and try to find a girl that can live with him ASAP? If the situation is that difficult, then living with you should look like a fine option until you can both move out, despite the initial discomfort. And if he cared about you and the long term, he wouldn't want you to do anything rash that left you in a worse financial situation - buying with your mum was supposed to help you onto the ladder and be a short term solution to getting you some equity for the next purchase.. You don't really want it to leave you worse off financially, with debts, and no longer a FTB so any future purchase would incur stamp duty.

I can understand you want to leave the situation, I certainly wouldn't want to live with my mum again, but it's not going to be fast or easy - if you didn't consider this at the point of buying, then you need to sit down with your mum and look at what options both of you are happy with to solve it, and then work towards them.
That may be selling ASAP, in which case you need to figure out when that might be and just accept it (or work towards making it sooner - such as I mentioned before, overpaying the mortgage to reduce the debt faster, if your mortgage allows), or some other solution. It's hard to say what solution would be best without understanding everything - such as how much equity did your mum put in? Would your mum be happy with you selling, would she be able to find somewhere else to live?

Communication is really key, maybe if you talked about your feelings about why it feels like just your mum's house and not a joint house, things would improve slightly to make you happier while you worked towards selling.

diggingdude

Are you getting a share of the rent this guys paying??

dimbo61

Facts Please!
How long is the mortgage deal you have both taken out on the new property you are living in ( Mum and yourself)
2/3/5 years? What is the ERC ( early repayment charges) and does it go down each year?
Could Mum,s new boyfriend move in andpay your half of the mortgage and you and your new partner rent a place together for a period of time ??