here or there?

crystal_fire

Hi, i have seen some threads on here asking for advice and i thought i would jump on the band wagon as you seem a helpful bunch.

my dilema is i have just moved up to Durham(north east) with my partner and it's our first christmas together but we dont know where to spend it?
his mum lives on her own in lancashire and my parents live in another town in lancashire(north west)
My sister who is 36 has special needs stays with my parents over the holidays.

i guess we do have the room to sleep everyone, a spare bedroom, bed settee and an air bed which can go in the dining room/kitchen (but it's only a small space)

but we went home this weekend to pick up the tree and my OH's mum asked if we want to stay at hers and the 3 of us will have xmas dinner and my parents can come and visit the next day but it's my dad's birthday on christmas day so i would feel a bit strange not being there for him.

Also my mum said they aren't trimming up this year as i dont live there any more but my dad loves christmas!

i want to please everyone but i can see this turning into a nightmare and my OH has left me to sort it all out on my own!

sylphraven

Could you spend christmas morning with your in-laws, & then go to your parents after dinner? This is what myself & OH have always done to keep our parents happy. Up until this year its always been 1 year dinner with his parents, the next with mine & continue like that.

jackomdj

Personally I would not get into the habbit of you running around after everyone, it will eventually become expected when you want to stop.

We used to have a large house & have all my family & OH's family over on Xmas day (my family used to just come for the day as they were local & OH's used to stay). Since moving out of the area we invite one set of parents one year & the other set the next. Mine always come & OH's have not yet come for Xmas in the 7 years at the new house!

Remember it is your holiday too & you should do as you (as a couple) want & not be running round so you don't enjoy Xmas as you should.

Nicky (sorry if it is not a popular opinion!)

FriendlyJ

Hiya we have a rule in our house that christmas day is ours (& kids). We do our own thing eat our own nicely cooked food & have our day. We then do visiting on boxing day or the day after. We have found that you sometimes have to do what is right for you or you end up resenting the pressure as long as the rules are laid out early on it seems to be a good compromise.
good luck J

haylibo

Could you get your would-be MIL over to your parents? If they and she agree of course. The problem with transporting mid-way through the day is that people generally like a drink with their food and then don't want to drive. Sounds like everyone needs you this year and if you can do it without making it too hard on yourselves then it is nice to try to please everyone as long as you manage to please yourselves too.
Hope you make it work and hope you have a fantastic first christmas. I imagine your OHs mum is happy to have you there, we all now how useless men can be with the whole christmas thing lol.
BW

crystal_fire

thanks for your suggestions. i'll ring around in the next couple of nights to see if we can come to some sort of agreement and see how it goes from there.
i know some one will moan just to make it extra difficult!