Learning to enjoy life within my means

in Debt Free Diaries
5 replies 504 views
Hi everyone:j

I’ve been reading these boards for a while, but just can’t seem to put anything I’ve learnt into practice! So hoping that having somewhere to write it all down will help keep me on track.
I’m in my early twenties and live in a private rented flat with my partner and our toddler. We’re on a pretty low income and have around 11k of debt. We entered a DMP a few months ago as we couldn’t keep up with repayments, but I definitely think that’s because we’re not budgeting properly.

I began suffering with anxiety when I fell pregnant and it’s been getting worse and worse as time goes on, and it’s now at the point where I can’t leave home without my partner. This has meant me not returning to work, and also meant my partner’s had to cut down his hours so that we’re not trapped in the house alone all week. We often wind up feeling bored and fed up, which leads to spending money when there’s no real need, and also boredom eating which is beginning to cost a lot.

I think learning to entertain ourselves without spending will be the key to getting our finances under control, as well as obviously trying to somehow manage my anxiety so we can boost our income. Any tips would be massively appreciated, I’ll post my SOA shortly x

Replies

  • We pay £100 a month to stepchange for all our debts, and the rest gets frittered away on food and things to do. I try to stick to a weekly shopping budget but we always end up spending on takeaway and the corner shop when there’s no food in. I can’t carry very much home from the supermarket but I’m reluctant to online shop as the trips to Asda/Aldi are currently the most exciting part of my week.

    Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

    Household Information

    Number of adults in household........... 2
    Number of children in household......... 1
    Number of cars owned.................... 0
    Monthly Income Details

    Monthly income after tax................ 0
    Partners monthly income after tax....... 736
    Benefits................................ 504
    Other income............................ 0
    Total monthly income.................... 1240


    Monthly Expense Details

    Mortgage................................ 0
    Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
    Rent.................................... 325
    Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
    Council tax............................. 100
    Electricity............................. 41
    Gas..................................... 42
    Oil..................................... 0
    Water rates............................. 26
    Telephone (land line)................... 0
    Mobile phone............................ 15
    TV Licence.............................. 0
    Satellite/Cable TV...................... 8
    Internet Services....................... 35
    Groceries etc. ......................... 0
    Clothing................................ 5
    Petrol/diesel........................... 0
    Road tax................................ 0
    Car Insurance........................... 0
    Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
    Car parking............................. 0
    Other travel............................ 14
    Childcare/nursery....................... 0
    Other child related expenses............ 0
    Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
    Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
    Buildings insurance..................... 0
    Contents insurance...................... 0
    Life assurance ......................... 0
    Other insurance......................... 0
    Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
    Haircuts................................ 15
    Entertainment........................... 0
    Holiday................................. 0
    Emergency fund.......................... 0
    Total monthly expenses.................. 626



    Assets

    Cash.................................... 0
    House value (Gross)..................... 0
    Shares and bonds........................ 0
    Car(s).................................. 0
    Other assets............................ 0
    Total Assets............................ 0


    No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts


    Unsecured Debts
    Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
    Overdraft......................1250......0.........0
    Bank loan......................5000......0.........0
    Next...........................2000......0.........0
    Credit card....................500.......0.........0
    Catalogues.....................1200......0.........0
    Total unsecured debts..........9950......0.........-



    Monthly Budget Summary

    Total monthly income.................... 1,240
    Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 626
    Available for debt repayments........... 614
    Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 0
    Amount left after debt repayments....... 614


    Personal Balance Sheet Summary
    Total assets (things you own)........... 0
    Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
    Total Unsecured debt.................... -9,950
    Net Assets.............................. -9,950


    .
  • gwynlasgwynlas Forumite
    864 Posts
    Part of the Furniture 500 Posts Name Dropper
    ✭✭✭
    Please seek help with your mental health from your GP. Make sure that you make an appointment at the end of surgery so not anxious about others waiting.
    You appear to be on board already with DMP and low cost shopping but could be attending parent/baby classes in order to socialise your child and also meet people in similar situation to yourselves.
    Once anxiety issues tackled you could maybe get a part time job to help with finances, even 10 hours a week at minimum wage would be worth having.
    It would also be useful to transfer part of your tax allowance to your partner.
  • Thank you for posting :)

    I’ve been to my GP a few times but there doesn’t seem to be much they can do other than medication and CBT, neither of which seem to be working for me.

    I went to baby classes for the first year and a half with my son, each class knocked my confidence until I started having panic attacks every time I had to interact with somebody. My partner refuses to attend with me as he finds them too boring, but he’ll come to the park/play centres/shopping with us so we do manage to get out and about.

    I’m studying for some qualifications while I’m at home so hopefully that will help, I just need to learn to stick with meal plans so we stop ordering our or letting food go off! Feels so hard to do such a simple thing
  • mumof3.12kindebtmumof3.12kindebt Forumite
    1.2K Posts
    1,000 Posts Fourth Anniversary Photogenic Name Dropper
    ✭✭✭
    Good luck. I'm going to follow your diary and I'm cheering you on in this journey.

    Don't be afraid to go back to your GP they maybe able to try something else x
    June 2017 £16,000 debt ~ Nov 2018 DEBT FREE
    June 2019 Homeowners ~ mortgage £123,500.00
    June 2021 DFW AGAIN £16,308
  • Honeysucklelou2Honeysucklelou2 Forumite
    3.9K Posts
    Fifth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    ✭✭✭✭
    Do you have a shared garden area as part of your flat?
    paydbx2021 #93 £2705.50/£7,250 . 2021 savings challenge £30/£1000
    EF £224 . SPC 039
    Savings 2 £20.00 H2S £600.00
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