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Lost Pension - How to trace

I started work at a company in 2003 and during 2009 we were bought and the new company bought us all in house, I worked for this new company until 2014.
90% of my paper work was destroyed the following year and because I was sorting out and moving my existing work pension and an old one from where I worked in retail in my teens I realised I needed to move this pension from the companies I worked for during 2003-2014.
My first stop was the company who wouldnt let me speak to HR and claimed I never worked there and they had no record of me despite me providing exact dates, managers etc. In the meantime an ex colleague told me that they were at Scottish Widows so I contacted them and they couldnt find me under my name, addresses, nino or date of birth. They also couldnt find the company.
I then tried the government tracing site who told me not all companies are registed and my last company was not registered at all.
I then tried Zurich as another former colleague suggested that, they had my name but said nothing had ever been transferred in to them with the scheme.
I then found a single headed paper of Towry (now Tilney) but they couldnt see any trace of the company nor me.
5 months later and the old company have decided I did work there and left a voicemail with a pension number for scottish widows. I rang scottish widows who told me its the wrong length and should not start with a letter. I rang the reception of the company again to be told there was no one of that name working in Human Resources.
I cant believe its this hard to trace a pension. Its not my fault the paperwork was destroyed but it must happen to people,surely my nino is unique and there must some way of tracing this. Does anyone have any good ideas of what I can do next?

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